Monthly Archives: July 2005

What a coincidence… I'm wet, too

Mm, now we're all wet
I’m off to the gay Pride parade now. This one goes out to all the gay boys I know.
It’s just yummy. I wonder how many dykes will try hitting on me today. Sigh. Going to a gay pride parade isn’t exactly the number-one hetero-chick thing to do when it comes to meeting the kind of men I can take home and fuck, now, is it?
But I’m sure to take some fun photos. Bottoms up. šŸ˜‰

between the sheets

throwing-sheet
i got some laundry done today, including my favourite sheets, the 250-thread count egyptian cotton ones. naturally, the bed is now immaculately dressed.
the heat wave is breaking briefly, just for tonight. it’s fallen several degrees and a breeze has been conjured for the first time in about a week, with today being the most insufferable yet–until now.
soon, i’ll have a hot bath with baby oil, and toy with myself in the tub before i crawl naked into bed.
but thanks to this slightly cool breeze wafting in off the ocean, and with any luck, completely unclad, i’ll cool down and remain a little on the chilled side all night long.
i sleep naked year-round, but it’s so much more enjoyable in the summer. i love the sensation of being naked under a single sheet on a hot night, the top sheet often completely askew, maybe a leg dangles over the side of the bed, a nipple protrudes, when a warm breeze whispers over my skin.
when it comes to that taunting breeze, nothing evokes the simple eroticism of summer for me better than sleeping naked — except fucking outdoors.
but tonight, the only option i have is that of crawling into bed alone, naked. so, without ado.
thalamus
* * *
in case you hadn’t noticed, visuals will be a big part of this site. i intend to have a lot of erotic images posted, and many will be nudes. that said, i think porn is uninspiring, so i prefer fine art nudes or retro porn from the ’50s and beyond.
hopefully, this site will have a unique look and feel as a result. if you find images you think are suitable for The Cunting Linguist, please email them to me. thanks.

Making the cut

Mm... abs

One of my fave people, Steve, wrote this nifty little bit on circumcision. I didn’t realize that there was such a difference in percentages between the UK & the US as far as how many men are circumcised. It starts with a hilarious men’s room account. Do read it.
My two cents? Less is more. Like any meat, it’s all about the cut for me. This is more luck than selection, but I’ve only ever been with one uncut guy. What can I say?
Besides, oral’s a little more enjoyable as a giver when the lid’s gone.

To Shave, or Not to Shave?

erotica_scoop

That is the question.
My answer is, absolutely. I just spent some quality time taking care of natureā€™s overgrowth before a long hot soak in the tub with a little oil. It feels great.
Depubing your privates goes a long way to improving sex. Personally, not only does a guyā€™s facial stubble enhance my oral experience, but so does being relatively hairless where it counts.
Iā€™ve said it before, oral puts the pleasure in sex. For me, thereā€™s nothing quite so enthralling as well-done oral. (Of course, a girl canā€™t live on oral alone.)
But oral can be a dirty job. In which case, I say: Run like the fucking wind.
Letā€™s face it. Better hygiene gets you better service.
Spelunking can be downright nasty when you donā€™t know what youā€™re about to encounter. This is true of cavernous spaces as well as muff and cock.
Now, I realize hair is natural. There are those who will wax poetic about keeping your pubes intact. In fact, once upon a time, I used to preserve my forests. It wasnā€™t a moralistic thing, though. It was all about razor burn.
Itā€™s bad enough to have razor burn anywhere on your body, but to have it between your legs, in the folds of the skin, is damned unnecessary.
Thatā€™s one of the problems with ā€œmaintenance.ā€ For those of us with sensitive skin, it can be a chore. Fortunately, thanks to lovely chemists and chemicals, the gods of the Bunsen burner have made it possible to go mostly hairless without the nasty skin reactions.
So the question is, why should anyone resort to harsh chemicals, razor burn, waxing, or electrolosys just to remove hair that belongs where you found it?
Because there ainā€™t no food group that includes hair. Because there are better ways to floss.

7

Now, I enjoy giving head. I do. If the guy is clean and trimmed, that is. Hygiene means Iā€™ll go the extra mile to give that extra special service. If things ainā€™t spiff? Youā€™re banished to the quickie lane, my friends. Trust me, itā€™s better I linger and do a little detailing. But do your share.
Body odor? Donā€™t even pass go. Too hairy down there? Iā€™ll be cut off at the path.
After all, oral pleasure isnā€™t about routine. Itā€™s about moving around and applying pressure, sucking, nibbling, licking, and massaging all over the region. Itā€™s not about just the head or the clit. Itā€™s about the inner thighs and everything in between. Without excessive hair, a lover feels more like roaming and nibbling. Face it, skin tastes awesome. Hair, not so much.
Besides, too much hair robs you of some great sensations.
For example, that tingling, arousing feeling that hits you when your partner pauses mid-oral, and youā€™re sopping from a mixture of saliva and your juices, and they lean almost completely in, hovering, and breathe long, hot, slow breaths onto your your moist skin, causing this titillating mix of hot/cold thatā€™s enhanced by their breathy breeze. Itā€™s like the perfect day at the beach.
These days, I may not ā€œshaveā€ per se, but Iā€™m very well trimmed. I praise the makers of Veet and other fine products for making my life a little more comfortable and sexy. I canā€™t believe I ever tolerated the bushlands, because I now find it itchy and the wrong kind of moist. I enjoy the extra attention my lovers give me.
That said, I gotta say, itā€™s nice to see more guys caring about their coiffs now. If it helps to do the job better…
After all, itā€™s very empowering to deliver quality oral, and taking the long, twisted, scenic route makes it all the more rewarding.
When proper forestry practices are maintained, of course.

Let the Games Begin

Ah, the inaugural posting.
Where to begin? The balls? The shaft? A fine question.
But no, weā€™ll start with something a little less tasty. Letā€™s go for that age-old question of why. Why the Cunting Linguist.
Hmm. Good question.
Iā€™ve always enjoyed innuendo. I enjoy batting it around. I love being a tease, sexually and intellectually. Itā€™s all a game.
Unfortunately, a lot of people didnā€™t pick up the handbook, and too many people ignore the fucking rules.
That said, people whoā€™ve read me elsewhere are thinking, ā€œSo, itā€™ll be mostly rants about sex?ā€
sex_sofa
Honestly? I havenā€™t a fucking clue. Iā€™m starting to think itā€™d be fun to write some erotica as well — my style, whatever that might be. Itā€™ll definitely include stories from my past. Iā€™ve already promised to tell the tale of when I chipped a tooth during sex.
And I will, but itā€™s a long story and involves another face from my past, one I miss and would love to encounter along a bare wall with the lights down low.
An epic finish to that tale, one that would see both the players utterly satiated, and then totally denied a future encounter when The Truth would enter the picture. If thereā€™s one ex-lover I want to phone when itā€™s 3:00 in the morning on a hot night, no breeze, and that familiar tingle and shortening of breath finds me alone in my bed… Itā€™d be J.
I have a lot of strong feelings about sex. I think weā€™re denied a lot of pleasure due to hang-ups in society. That said, Iā€™m still a pretty old-fashioned girl in some regards, since Iā€™ve never been promiscuous, and Iā€™m not into swinging or the like.
No, for me itā€™s still about romance, creativity, sex toys, light bondage, teasing, taunting, toying, food, stimulants, erotica, music, location, and lighting. How dull.
Iā€™ll admit, Iā€™m a little curious about sadomasochism, but I honestly have to say that I enjoy pleasure and reward, doting and toying. Punishment isnā€™t really my bag. But I wouldnā€™t want to be judgmental, if you know what I mean.

journal

Still, Iā€™ve encountered a surprising amount of men who think theyā€™re open and adventurous when it comes to sex, but you mention the word ā€œbondageā€ and thereā€™s this image they conjure of some dom maxed-out in leather with a bull-whip and studded collars.
Sure, if stereotypes fit your bill. I have no bullwhip, and very little leather, but Iā€™m more than willing to get into a bound situation, as either the binder or the bindee. Itā€™s all about variety, nā€™est ce pas?
Iā€™ll definitely be writing on things of those calibre. Tackling those tough dilemmas, like, to shave or not to shave.
I may even post recipes from my aphrodisiac cookbook. No, Iā€™m not kidding. Yes, I do have one. And yes, it does work wonders, but then so does a handjob.
Iā€™m open to receiving questions from yā€™all, preferably via email so I get the element of surprise when I post the question. Iā€™d laugh my ass off if you sent in whack questions that are completely bullshit, and Iā€™d still answer them. Youā€™re creative, do something with it.
* * *
BUT… I really donā€™t want to pigeon-hole this site into ā€œjust sex.ā€ It seems shallow, at first blush.
Then again, it seems to me that sex is used in everything from video games to burger advertisements. Confining the topic to sex-related might open up a whole interesting subculture of issues to examine.
But thereā€™ll always be oral sex. Sucking, nibbling, chewing, licking. All those lovely verbs that bring a grin to my lips every time my imagination kicks in. ā€œOral pleasure.ā€ Of all the euphemisms used in sex, thatā€™s the best one. Thatā€™s the one that reminds you: Itā€™s about pleasure.
Letā€™s hope I bring you some. Stick around, and weā€™ll see where this game of cat-and-mouse will lead. This could be fun.