The Good Girl’s Guide to Giving GREAT Head Pt. 1

04

I’m a perfectionist. This has served me well in many areas of my life, say, at work or in the kitchen. Or, as it happens, in the bedroom.

I like to think of oral sex as a fine art. I think it’s the most sensual, supposedly selfless thing you can do for a lover.

Now, I say “supposedly selfless,” because who’s kidding who? If you’re already in a good relationship, throwing great oral into the equation makes it sexual utopia. It’s the final touch. Then they owe you. You know as well as I do, you’re keeping score. We all do.

When it comes to oral, I owe everything I’ve learned to Sex Tips for Straight Ladies from a Gay Man. The first time I used all the tips in that book — and let me tell you, when I read, I absorb information like a sponge, my friends — the guy was gasping his thanks for three full minutes afterwards, no exaggeration.

It’s not just knowing the moves, though. That’s half the battle. It’s really all about understanding your lover’s body language. That twitch, that gasp, that shudder, when their thigh muscles tighten or their ass clenches while they inhale sharply… all these little signs will give you clues as to what’s working… and what’s working better.

You don’t have to talk during the process but your lover should always emit little vocal cues when oral’s underway. It’s a roadmap of sorts. I’m fortunate, this is my strong suit. I can read a lover like a Dick-and-Jane book.

By understanding all those little subtle shifts in behaviour, you know when to switch up your technique to get a little added stimulation in, or to pull back so you can prolong the experience without having them blow their load too soon. It’s torturously delightful when the whole process is dragged out for as long as you can make it last.

My record for delivering oral on a guy was spread out well over an hour, and with his reaction and the night that followed it, my time proved to be very well spent. There are some situations that scream for you to dote and linger and take the slow route around. (In my books, that always includes light bondage.)

I’m not afraid to make an entire night about the guy. Or to at least try. I’ve never had a guy let me make it all about him. Half-way through, they’re always so riled they feel compelled to take charge.

And who am I to argue, then? It’s one of the perks of showering your lover with affection — limiting their ability to be involved in the process always heightens the payback. And I do so love payback.

If I wanted to deliver The Perfect Scenic Route Blowjob, it’d take a little scheming. Naturally, he wouldn’t know I had this in mind. Where’s the fun in that?

I would be planning to give loverboy a full-body massage that would slowly turn into bondage. I’d do firm but sensual deep issue work, keeping it fairly innocuous… for a while.

If not already naked midway through the massage, I’d remedy it and undress. Straddling him, sitting on his ass, I’d work my way lower on his back. When through there, I’d have him roll over, and he’d naturally be rock hard by now.*

I’d have a bind or tie of some kind under the pillow, and upon straddling his front, I’d lean in for a kiss, pin his arms playfully over his head, then produce the rope. Of course he’d give his permission (because I only date intelligent men) and I’d then tie his hands up.

Then it’s all about exploring, isn’t it? Kissing, sucking, nibbling from head to toe and back again… but stopping often for long, involved cock teasing.

e-blowjob-gitte-STOR

Where I start with a blowjob is by grabbing the base of the shaft. This isn’t even an option. Need I repeat that? Not an option, sisters. A good firm grasp around the shaft is a great start, but it’s also great to have the testicles involved in this lovely grasp, as well. Cup them, and maybe play with his balls, rolling them in your hand, but don’t overdo it ‘cos you don’t want to get him too riled too early.

This whole process is going to be about giving and denying — taking him to the brink and knowing when to stop so you can stretch that tease to the maximum. If you can prolong it as long as possible, the orgasm (from my experience) is of the earth-shattering, full-body spent kind. (My favourite, personally.)

From that point, baby, it’s all mix’n’match. There’s no real process. Vary it like mad, not sticking with any one technique for longer than a minute or so. If I can see his face and know he’s concentrating with furrowed brows or biting his lip intensely, then I’ll probably prolong that move just a tad since it’s obvious he’s in another place with it. There are no rules… just make it good and make it last.

Among my favourite moves:

The Explorer: Licking hard and slow up from the base of the shaft, over the head, nibbling the tip oh-so-gently before going open-mouth and deep over the whole shaft, closing lips hard over him, sucking hard but teasingly slow all the way up, then making a couple short little slurping passes over the tip. I repeat the whole move a few times in a row, usually producing a couple tortured little shudders at the very least.

The Nibbler: Imagining you’re a dainty little old English lady working her way around a tea biscuit with the littlest of nibbles. You’ll work your way from base to tip ever so delicately nibbling the skin lengthwise, and when you get to the tip, you’ll simply mouth the top of his cock and his glans and toy with him using your tongue and sucking with varying degrees of pressure.

Women, for the love of god, if you can’t nibble without applying any painful pressure, do NOT do it at all! If you’ve never nibbled cock before, go gentle, please! Once you’re into the experience, ask him if he’s comfortable with you proceeding. Not every guy is trusting enough to let a chick teeth him. But he should be. Unless he’s fond of denying himself the most sinful of pleasures.

The Creamsicle: Ah, let’s hear it for the classics. Fondly recall those days of old when you’d grab yourself an orange creamsicle and suck it whole in your mouth, up and down, until it was too weak to last much longer. So too will be your man’s cock if you’re attentive enough with this trusty old standby. If you don’t lay hard tongue pressure against the side of his cock as you suck the length of the shaft, then why don’t you?

Now, the downside of the Creamsicle is that it tends to get him off a little too quickly if you overdo it. I prefer short bursts of Creamsicling (unless I’m winding up my services, and then I give it all I’ve got). I’ll often make sure I’m clutching his shaft hard and tugging in rhythm with my lipservice. This, too, can be problematic when you’re trying to prolong his experience.

PART TWO? I thought you’d never ask.

*By the way, if a guy isn’t hard, putting his soft cock in your mouth and gumming and sucking him tends to drive him wild and gets him hard in a hurry. Always a pleasant surprise if the blowjob begins out of the blue. Try this next time you’re just watching TV. Get down on your knees, open his pants up, and set yourself onto his soft cock. Especially do this if you know there’s some chick he likes in the show or something. Why not indulge his little fantasy, and later, help him indulge yours?

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26 Comments

  1. chunu
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 10:15 am | Permalink

    Oh goodness. Not only talking blow jobs (the usual first thought a guy has when thinking sex), but blow jobs in front of the TV. With, for example, Angelina Jolie on the box — I know she isn’t a real TV person, but let me imagine we have the cable movies on, OK :)

    Now I have in my head your skills mentioned above. Hmm. And I was hoping to stay at that friends only stage LOL.

    • Posted August 23, 2012 at 3:45 pm | Permalink

      My women and I started the “NIGHTS OF A 100 LICKS’ The game is played after a cool shower and a glass of wine in hand. one partner starts by handing the other the glass of wine. one glass of wine in each hand. Now the good part. You get 100 licks on her body. So make them count. No dont go for the clituris like and mad man. Save that for day eleven. Let me tell you if see can survive ten days of 100 licks she is strong. Or you keep licking her (insert a body part you like to lick. NO NOT HER CLIT) Thats the best part. you lick her all over till day ten. She will great you with open legs. If not use your toung to spread them. Oh I forgot to tell you that every other day is your’s. Have fun. We are 55 years old.

  2. Walking Wounded
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 11:02 am | Permalink

    Yes, indeed, you have taken care to perfect your craft. This much I can see from only the first installment. Too bad you weren’t friends with my last girlfriend, you and her could have had a “talk.”

    One thing I want to mention, though. When grabbing hold of the shaft, I hope you don’t do it so tight that you clamp off the urethra. This causes an uncomfortable feeling as the natural process of pH balancing the urethra is inhibited. It can be painful at times. I discovered this happened more when a chick would hold my penis with their palm facing the underside, rather than with their palm facing them. Just a note in the margin from the book of my life. ;)

    BTW, getting a blow job spontaneously while watching TV IS AWESOME. So is going down on a woman while she is talking on the phone! If more men and women knew this, the world would be a happier place.

    Peace

  3. Walking Wounded
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    I just realized the pH balancing thing needs more explanation. Seminal fluid (which is alkaline) enters the urethra during arousal because normally urine is acidic, and acidity damages sperm. So what many people call “pre-cum” is this alkaline fluid that is making the lumen of the urethra a more neutral pH environment in preparation for the ejaculate.

    So by clamping off the urethra, you inhibit the fluid from entering the urethra causing discomfort and a times pain.

    Hopefully, this makes more sense.

    Peace

  4. scribe called steff
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 11:22 am | Permalink

    Chunu — And there’s still part two to come. Tsk. Yeah, there’s a reason I don’t get into details when I talk sex with my platonic male friends. I’ve stupidly given this URL to two of them. Whatever. They’ll get over it.

    Walking — Awesome addendum there. I’ll say something when I re-edit it for publication in a mag I’m planning to send it to, a little more tweaked and expounded on than this version.

    It’s amazing how giddy guys get about getting blown during their fave television shows. I’ve definitely noticed the fondness towards this, so I love to throw a Prime-Time BJ in the mix from time to time.

    I’m into a guy going down on me while I read a book, too. God knows I just keep reading the same fucking passage OVER and OVER again, but god, if it’s good writing and good head, who cares? Heh.

  5. Simply Her
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 1:21 pm | Permalink

    I think blow jobs are my favourite, Last night matter of factly I gave one that I was quite proud of. I’m always open for new techniques & such. The perfection of the “art” always brings the best.
    I’m eagerly awaiting part two.
    oh & I love the fact of starting with a body massage then taking it further. I’m going to have to try that. <3

  6. Mind Maelstrom
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 6:06 pm | Permalink

    Interesting suggestions, Steff. I actually haven’t tried bondage during oral yet (not as the bonder anyway), but I’m sure it would be at least as pleasurable for him as it usually is for me. I shall try as soon as I go back home (Sunday yay) :). Oh, and I’m looking forward to the third part of the saga of J…

  7. scribe called steff
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 8:25 pm | Permalink

    Simply — It’s such an innocent way to segue into a BJ. It’s great. It’s probably the ultimate in male relaxation — a massage and a BJ. All you need to do then is give him a beer. Heh.

    Now, before the beer comment gets me in trouble…

    I’m a total feminist, I should point out. I’m absolutely about equality and all of that. It might strike some chicks as too subservient to make it all about him, but I find it REALLY empowering. I’ve never had events like that do anything negative to a relationship nor have I had them ever cut into the respect I receive. It usually has the exact opposite effect.

    Mind Maelstrom — Hey, welcome. :) Oh, bondage during oral is AWESOME. I don’t mind a guy touching my hair and shit during a BJ, but I absolutely love it when he’s totally at my disposal and I can do anything I want. Ironically, I do as much as I can that I know he’ll love. In the end, when it’s all about pleasuring them during bondage, it’s so fucking easy to convince them to do it again and again and again and again and… :)

    I’ll be posting part two in a few minutes.

    And completely off topic but I could fucking kill the dude who’s presently baking the best-smelling brownies ever downstairs. GOD. Fuck sex. Give me chocolate!

    I’ll give you death by chocolate, buddy, if you don’t bring me a brownie later. Grr.

  8. Mind Maelstrom
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 10:52 pm | Permalink

    Honestly, it bugs me when a guy plays with my hair during a BJ–let me do my work dumbass :). I love you writing style by the way, keep it coming…

  9. scribe called steff
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 11:17 pm | Permalink

    ha! I actually kind of agree with you. It does bug me. There are TIMES though, when it’s someone I care deeply about and it can be a sentimental, emotional thing when they touch my hair.

    Usually, though, I’m concentrating. “Fuck off,” is what I’m thinking. Ha. :)

    And thanks for the compliment! Whee!

  10. Mind Maelstrom
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 11:41 pm | Permalink

    Haha, you’re welcome :). I’ve been largely concentrating on being mean recently (see blog), but I have to be earnest every once in a while. How long are you going to keep us waiting for the Saga of J now?

  11. scribe called steff
    Posted August 17, 2005 at 12:05 am | Permalink

    I’m laughing out loud now.

    The Saga of J, oh, lord, who knows. This course I’m in is whipping me, really. The Saga of J. is the only really true sex story I’ve told on here, and will probably remain that way. I want to get it right, for starters…

    BUT… what’s stumping me is how to tell the tale. There’s a lot that follows. Another thing killing me is finding the right song to get myself into the mood of it.

    You’ll get it by the end of the month, FOR SURE, since I have to send it in for a contest. Sooner than that? Maybe.

    I’m actually going to take a few days off from this blog, I’ll post something Thursday to explain a couple more things and involve you guys in an “exercise.”

    But while I’m taking some time, I’ll try to write J. I’d LOVE to get that out of my mind this weekend.

    Bear with me. :) I need to go back and read your blog. I did laugh at a couple of the things in the first posting but I’ve been trying to get some work done tonight, so I didn’t read closely. Gah! I will, though. :)

  12. Mind Maelstrom
    Posted August 17, 2005 at 12:18 am | Permalink

    God am I glad I don’t take summer classes! The semester is more than enough for me, I admire you for dealing with it during the summer as well. Will keep my fingers crossed for you for that competition (can I just borrow them back to brush my teeth real quick and then I’ll cross’em again, I promise).

  13. scribe called steff
    Posted August 17, 2005 at 12:26 am | Permalink

    Tag, yer it.

    Well, I’m unemployed, actually, and it’s a gov-sponsored artistic discovery course for unemployed cultural workers and it’s all about exploring the creative process and the psychological impediments that prevent artists from really pursuing their craft.

    It’s fucking amazing, actually, but it leaves me little time to be creative. I don’t know how or why I got into writing this blowjob story on the weekend, but now I’m polishing it to submit for publication.

    WHEE.

    But yeah, keeps me busy. I’ve not been in regular school for, oh, say 8 or so years now, and it won’t be happening anytime soon, neither. Heh. I have authority issues.

    But this course is really amazing from a psych standpoint, so I’m digging it.

  14. Hermes
    Posted August 18, 2005 at 12:30 am | Permalink

    Wait-a-minute. Did I read that correctly? You wouldn’t object to giving head ALL NIGHT?

    Hermes, good to meet you. What you doing tonight?

  15. scribe called steff
    Posted August 18, 2005 at 1:33 am | Permalink

    I’d be surprised to meet a guy who could handle me doing my thing all night.

    But I’m always up for a challenge.

    Like I said, I’ve done it for well over an hour, but the poor boy couldn’t take anymore so I let him off for good behaviour. Silly boy.

    As for tonight, gee. Lookin’ kinda clear, really.

  16. DH Spicy
    Posted September 28, 2005 at 8:39 pm | Permalink

    Well written, informative to many I’m sure…and HOT to read!

  17. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2007 at 12:50 pm | Permalink

    Great read…hanging out for part two!!!!!

  18. addictive
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 9:41 pm | Permalink

    this is good advice. im pretty good at giving head but im always open for improvement. ive givin a bj for close to an hour before the whole time he was going nuts which of course made me want to doit better ai strive to please him when we have sex he moans but because hes to busy concentrating he jus makes soft little moans but when i was goin at it he was really lpud and let me tell you it was a joy to here so when i got home about a week later i started wondering if there were ways for me to improve and make him even louder and so thats why im here now but this post did help and i cant wait to try it out!

  19. Poka
    Posted January 9, 2012 at 6:27 am | Permalink

    Thank you so much for writing this, I am horrible at giving head and I want to please my boyfriend more next time I see him :3

  20. Buttercup_Baby
    Posted February 24, 2012 at 3:47 pm | Permalink

    Well I hope someone is still seeing these comments because I have to say a HUGE Thank You for this! Not only is it informative and a very hot read it also is fucking amazing put in to practice!!!!! I have been with my husband for 10yrs and we’ve always has a fantastic sex life but trying this was a whole new ball game! Not only was my husband completely amazed and satisfied to the point of almost exploding it got me soaking wet while performing!!! My husband needed a cup of tea after, not every man wants a beer lol is there any other stuff you have written that I can find online?

  21. Posted February 27, 2012 at 1:39 am | Permalink

    Ahh, the creamsicle — I love doing that. Slowly. Just to feel him in my mouth. ;)
    I have written and keep a site dedicated to this topic but love to browse others writing, seeing the techniques they love and want to share and what it is they think makes for the best head.
    I love what you have written here, enjoyed how you have written it and am just about to pop over for part two.
    And ‘supposedly selfless’ — hehe, I liked that.

  22. dawna
    Posted March 19, 2012 at 7:04 pm | Permalink

    please take this off my facebook immediately!!! this was not meant for public consumption.

    • Posted March 20, 2012 at 2:47 pm | Permalink

      That’s for you to solve, lady. Don’t put your blog-reading attached to your Facebook account. I can’t do shit about it at my end, that’s a personal profile setting you created on your end.

      Sorry, but I can’t help. Would if I could. Usually you have the option of choosing “Private” or “Only for me” on whether an app’s history will display on your profile.

  23. Nameless
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 9:20 pm | Permalink

    Hey, I just wanted to say THANK YOU for this blog, I love reading it, I love your style and the things you write about. How you write about them. I love researching blow job tips and techniques and always aim to improve my sexual skills and diversity. My boyfriend keeps telling me how I’m the most amazing sex goddess, I love to experiment and it rarely goes wrong. I love creative sex. However, I read through your guide to giving great head the other day and maaan, this morning, I gave him a full body oil massage, tied him up, blindfolded him, and teased him like crazy with your techniques. He wouldn’t stop thanking me for the rest of the day. He said he never came this intensely in his life ever before, and well, I had a pretty intense orgasm as well. You totally rock this :D

  24. Sahansdal
    Posted November 23, 2012 at 9:11 am | Permalink

    Good article. Another tip: I like having slightly pursed lips and as much tongue as possible up and down against the sensitive side of my cock followed by gentle sucking for a few times on the last two inches before back to the lips running up and down. fingering the asshole while doing this is extra credit! Hair dragging across is also extra. But my wife has short hair. Oh, well.

2 Trackbacks

  1. […] When we last left off, I was recapping the wonders of the Creamsicle move. Trusty, classic, and effective. Here are the remaining fave moves of mine. Of course, you can mix’n’match all the moves and shake them up, and you can think outside the box and bring in other techniques. There’s really only one no-no in oral — don’t hurt ‘em (unless they’re into that). […]

  2. […] good at. Like, really. There’s a reason my three-year-old Good Girl’s Guide to Giving Great Head [part 1 is here, part 2 is here] is a hugely plagiarized blowjob-giving sex-tip writing on the web, you […]

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