The Man’s Guide to Cunnilingus Pt. 3

If you’re new to this discussion, read Part One here, Part One-B here, and Part Two here.

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We left off with me urging you to get in touch with your inner bastard and enter her for two or three teasing, taunting thrusts before leaving her wanting more.

That done, feel free to grin mischeviously and tell her she has to wait until you’ve done your duties. Tease her a little, but you’re going south, boy.

As you slither back down her body, you can again drag your hands down the sides of her torso, slipping over her love handles and down over her hips, remembering that staying in touch with all of her will help shut down those inhibitions every woman has from time to time — and that pays hefty dividends as the night grows not-so-young.

To switch things up now, you can slip your hands down, around, and over her ass from behind, tugging those fleshy inner thighs out of the way as you suck and nibble down over the mons, this time stopping to make acquaintance with the clit, since you’ve already teased it once.

Purse your lips on it and very gently, almost imperceptibly start to suck. Lick it softly as you suck, flickering your tongue over its tip, almost snake-like, which will start to get her very, very aroused. She’s going to want more. But don’t be surprised if she adjusts her legs or shifts her hips. And do not misunderstand this.

She doesn’t want you to enter her, but is only trying to add to the experience by getting herself into a new position that allows for a different sensation. She may even slightly lift her hips, but this could mean she’s just tightening all those regional muscles so she gets more bang for the buck, just like you clench your ass muscles to make yourself harder when she’s going down on you. It’s not a vacancy sign suggesting you move in, boys. Continue what you’re doing.

So, techniques, then? All right, pretend you’re having a fudgesicle (ice cream on a stick for the foreign readers) that’s been sucked down to half its size, but is still wide at the base: Open your lips as wide as they can go and drag them, sucking harder as you go, over the surface of her twat until you’re pursing around her clit again. Now and then, throw tongue action into it, too, flicking hard, then soft, and vice versa, over the top of the clit.

You can even give her a twirlie, where you just encircle the clit with your tongue — round and round and round we go. (Remember, the clit protrudes in a recessed area, so there’s those little cavernous depressions around its base, and this would be where you’d be twirling around… every bit as sensitive as the clit’s mound itself, but not as sexually rewarding, so it heightens the tease for us.)

If you’re confident she’ll enjoy it and you know how sensitive to go, you can start to gently nibble the clit from time to time.

But be careful: You spend too long here and you’ll make her orgasm very quickly. Which is GREAT, but to get your bang for your buck, hold out on her and torturously delay the result. It may well be in your favour to only give her one mind-boggling orgasm versus two or three smaller ones. I’m a quality, not quantity gal, myself.

Another trick is to raise one of her legs and chew on the back of the thigh, slowly working your way back to her twat with your mouth, while your fingers of your other hand stroke and toy with her labia. This is one of those moves you can make that interrupts something powerfully arousing like clit-sucking, since she’ll be delighted at the new sensation, but will still be wanting you to return to her sex. That you make your way there slowly, tauntingly is something that’ll bring a smile to her lips as she deliciously waits it out.

Now, it doesn’t matter that it’s called “oral sex.” You want to use your fingers and hands as MUCH as you can. It’s the same for women when giving men head. Always, always, always use your hands throughout the experience. It’s in the multidimensional sensations that the crazy arousals result.

So, entering her with your fingers, too, flicking against the vulvic walls, thrusting in and out, rotating, bending, twisting, is all particularly effective even when you’re chewing her upper regions, like the mons, or even the clit. Best you divide your time amongst all the northern regions, including the inner thighs and outer vaginal ridges.

Be sure you occasionally use the wonderful methodology of covering your teeth with your lips, then clamping down with varying pressures on all areas of her twat. This allows you to be a little more aggressive without hurting her and can help change the pace into something a little more aggressive and animalistic, if that’s your thing. It’s something better used towards the end of the session, though, than the beginning. Think of it as the second act in an exciting action film — it helps you build tension before the shoot’em-up conclusion.

Remember, though, a good number of us enjoy teeth, so make sure you check to see if a nibble’ll do us some good. Me, I like my men to be full-on carnivores, so long as the pressure and intensity isn’t too severe. I don’t like pain.

You can also fire up the vibe, too, and use the vibrator to slide in and out of her as you do any of the above approaches to the other areas of her vagina. Don’t forget to lube it up before insertion, though. This can be used at any point during the session, but again, is best used in verge-of-climaxing second act or last act.

All right, there are guys everywhere who swear by the “Alphabet Technique.” This technique basically entails the guy lying there and “writing out letters” on the surface of the vagina.

The guys’ll tell each other the money’s in this move, that it delivers the goods and gets her riled. They’ll even say, “Oh, I write her dirty notes…” Like we care. Sorry, but it’s true, and the chicks are just trying to spare your feelings.

So, enter Steff the mythbuster.

Honeys, if it takes you doing your ABCs to get us to “Oh!” then so be it. In reality, this doesn’t do for us nearly what you think it does. A tongue trickling over the surface of my cunt entertains me for a minute or so, but then you’d better expand your vocabulary in a hurry if “wild” is what you’re wanting us to read as.

Why do women respond, then? Simple: We don’t get the amount of surface coverage and exploration and variation that our organs really cry out for — considering the entire region south of our belly-buttons to our anus and from the inner-thighs to in-between is all one giant erogenous zone screaming for all-over doting and exploring. So we’ll take it where we can get it.

As part of your repertoire — a small part — it’s a fine thing. Don’t think it’s the last word, because it ain’t even a syllable, really.

Okay, here’s something I don’t think I’ve seen listed in sex tip manuals, but since I’m a hetero girl and I’ve never read up on cunnilingus, that would also make sense. I’ve had guys do this, but they don’t seem to ever realize just how goddamned effective it is, no matter how unsubtle the moaning or gasping becomes. In fact, most of the time it seems to be happening almost inadvertently, like it’s not something they’re intending to do, but just sorta happens. They seem to suffer under the delusion that it’s just what their tongue is doing that’s inciting the reaction. Nopers, not the case, kids.

Allow me to expound.

Now, I am not a Creationist, and never will be, but I gotta say, these “brilliant design” proponents might be onto something.

Why would I say this? Well, have you ever really considered the brilliance of putting the nose above the mouth? I, as a woman, applaud the good lord or whatever it was that deigned THAT as the place to put the nose.

Think about it. You slip your tongue into a woman, and where’s your nose? Hovering oh so wonderfully just above the clit. Oh, MY. I say get that bad boy in on the action. The fleshy cartilege of the nose is the perfect soft-but-firm clit-stimulating thing. Just nuzzle into the clit — in and up — as you thrust your tongue in and up, or you can do the wagging-dog side-to-side action with both your mouth and your nose. Hell, just in and out can do the trick, too. Definitely worth a shot. Do it all, says I. The more, the merrier. And the more I’ll want to repay you.

You get your hands massaging our breasts or teasing our anus (which may not work on select women), or whatever inspires you, and this can be a money shot for you.

If you’re one of those guys who’s always lamented the big size of his nose… It’s time to realize the gift you can give to the women in your life. And I promise, once she gets the goods, she’s gonna like your schnozz more than you can imagine.

But obviously, don’t forget to breathe before you give her the full-face treatment.

And expect that she’s soon gonna start giving you little pecks on that nose of yours and teasingly nibbling the end of it in between lip-kisses, secretly imagining the times you’ve brought her to the edge with that bad boy, now that it’s become a close personal friend of hers.

Brilliant design, my friends. Brilliant.

But so is the body as a whole. All those ways we can bend and move makes a myriad of approaches possible for every sexual experience, including oral. Don’t keep things limited to the same old position. Try moving around. Try in on the table, on the floor, wherever. Environment and position definitely affects these things.

But whatever you do, don’t forget the details.