The Failure to Fuck

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Not too long ago, an Italian man was ordered to pay his now-ex-wife damages for failing to disclose to her before they tied the knot that he couldn’t get it up.
Apparently the courts have told him he’s guilty of abusing her “right to sexuality.”
Now this is why I believe in getting sex out of the way. Pfft. I mean, wait? Yeah, that’s gonna happen.
But you gotta wonder: You’re abstaining, but you make out, right?
So, there you are, you’re makin’ out, gropin’ a little, wandering around, pressing together, getting all heated up… and you never once notice he doesn’t have a stiffy in response?
Honey, do you have any powers of observation?
What chick, getting kissed against a wall, doesn’t notice a guy’s degree of interest? Which chick doesn’t judge its rigidity at that time? And if the guy ain’t putting it out there in a covert yet obvious way? Something’s up, and it ain’t Dick.
Honestly, it’s a pity they’re divorced. They seem impeccably matched.

9 thoughts on “The Failure to Fuck

  1. Adz

    I blame the parents. No seriously, I do! It’s the parents who bring up these stuffy nosed ladies who can’t quite grasp the fact that you’ve gotta have a rummage before marriage. How obvious is that! I sense whole heartedly agreement here with you Stef. Great post, good point.

  2. colonialave

    Adz – Ha! Great response.

    Steff – Ummm, yeah. The two questions going through my mind at time of impact:

    1. Is he hard? Oh yup. yes.
    2. Is he a good kisser. I like his tongue. . .

  3. scribe called steff

    Adz: “Rummage…” Heh.

    Colonialave: Yeah, I assure you I have at LEAST those thoughts. And a great many more.

    JAG: Well, really, guys suck at communicating. I love men to death, but wish they could share a little more of the behind-the-scenes thoughts. Since they can’t, the wonderful act of an erection can at least tell you what level of desire you’re facing.

    And if there’s no erection… well, one less hint to go on.

  4. Adz

    Rummage as in get the hand down the trousers, feel about, and ‘oh my what a big erection you have – let’s get married.’ Rummage, like you know, searching around to make sure the guy has all parts assembled correctly and he knows how to use it.

    ‘She rummaged around my trousers to see what she could find’

  5. me

    If he doesn’t get hard while we’re making out, why on earth would I want to do anything else with him?!?

    I actually had a guy friend who never got hard when we made out — or so I thought. I came to find from one of my friends that slept with him that he just had a very small … appendage. Pity.

  6. scribe called steff

    Sexy — Thanks. 🙂

    Adz — Yeah, I got the reference with rummage, that’s why I thought it was funny. Here in North America it’s more likely to mean rifling through garbage, which would probably offend the cock owner. Being Canadian, I tend to grasp the British terms, tho.

    Camouflage — Exactly! Yes, I fooled around with a guy once who wound up having a cock about 4″ long — when hard. Not good.

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