The Man's Guide to Cunnilingus: Part 4

This is part four in my opus on cunnilingus.
Part one is here, part two is here, and part three is here.
Tackling a lover orally can be quite different for the two sexes, not just for the obvious reasons.
As far as I’ve been able to discern, sucking dick’s the same no matter how you approach it. Sure, it might be a little different upside-down, but it doesn’t seem to change matters that much.
Can the boys weigh in on this and correct me if I’m wrong? I have that slight problem of being dickless, hence clueless on that aspect.
Chicks, though… We’re a sensation wonderland. Every way you turn us, move us, the feel’s different.
Think about it. A penis and vagina go together like a puzzle. The negative space in a cunt accomodates a dick perfectly. This is why it’s so fun to play together.
But that said, every bit of internal female plumbing has different reactions to stimulation. The back end of the vagina responds differently from the front end. The vulvic walls create a space within them that’s similar to an hour-glass, but with a longish fold similar to sliding your hand between the pillows of a couch, all mixed together. That means that entry from different angles creates different sensations — never mind our perineum, our clit, our ass, or any of those other happy places we’d often like you to make yourself at home with.
Fingering a chick with your fingers turned sideways, like a key entering a keyhole, flicking them against the opposing walls, this feels a world different that entering her with your fingers turned wide for the entry, since it causes more sensation a little higher up on the walls (thanks to that extra width up top) and stimulates both sides of the vaginal walls at the same time. Like I said, a very different feeling.
Slanting your fingers so they hit the front or the back also changes our reactions.
Then there’s having us move into different positions that allow different areas to receive sensation — such as propping a chick up with pillows.
You might not ever understand all the ways a chick can respond differently to sensation, since it’s all “hidden in there,” but at the very least, you can appreciate it and keep it in mind.
There are a few basic approaches you can take when performing cunnilingus.

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Front & Centre: This is your standard approach, as illustrated in the beautiful photo provided to me by Daniel & Sabrina at Tell Your Sex Story.
This position can be attained by being on the bed between her legs, or by you approaching when kneeling on the floor in front of the bed, or as illustrated in part three, you could even have her lying on a table table as you take the comfortable position of sitting on a chair before the table. I did say “dining,” didn’t I?
Lying on a bed may be routine, but it’s my favourite position. I love just lying there and relaxing as a guy has his way with me because it really allows me to enjoy the experience.
Also, although it may seem like a boring, conservative position, it’s actually the most flexible one. You or she can manipulate her body into a variety of different positions stemming from this basic one. Every way you move or angle her legs will vary the sensation slightly. Play with this. This also allows easy access to every single erogenous zone on her body since only her back is out of play.
And don’t forget, it also allows for you to use your nose on the clit, as I detailed in part three, something that most of the other moves do not permit.

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Down & Dirty: From the most flexible position, we go to the least flexible one. An interesting alternative, this one’s a very sensational feeling, but it’s also very emotionally detached, which can compromise some of the intensity for some of the chicks. And as mentioned, it’s very limited in scope.
You’re essentially eating her backwards from behind. Slide two pillows, at least, under her midsection so her derriere’s in the air, which gives you access. This is a really different sensation for the chick since the tongue reaches internal areas it can’t usually reach, essentually angling back towards the cervix, and against the back wall, instead of against the front wall.
The negatives to this approach are as follows: One, a total lack of eye contact. Two, no ability to stimulate all her upper-body erogenous zones, from her mons to her breasts and neck. Yes, it’s a great sensation, but unless she asks to have an entire session done this way, make sure you bring other positioning into play.

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Sideways: This one’s great, and as mentioned, it’s one of the myriad ways you can adapt the Front & Centre approach. All you need do is lie beside her, on your side. Have her drape a leg over your torso — the leg depends on what hand you favour. For example, if you’re a rightie, you want to lie on your left side, so your right hand is at your ready and able to join the fun. Her left leg, then, will simply drape over your right hip.
Your head will be parallel to the bed as you enter her with your tongue. For greater control, you can stretch your left arm (again, if you’re a rightie) out and under her right thigh, and use your hand to pry her fleshy inner thighs back. Digging your tongue in as deep as possible is a real bonus with this approach.
Your tongue enters her sideways, so when you’re flicking and darting, you can favour one side of her vulva over the other or go back and forth, batting your tongue against each wall rhythmically. You can wag side to side or do the classic “around-the-world” movement, all of which works nicely.
A really arousing trick is to lightly rub your upper front teeth’s edges against her labia as you dart and delve into her. It’s a nice multilayered feeling and I guarantee it’ll get her riled.
With your right hand free, and with more of her upper vagina exposed thanks to your head being sideways, you can really work with both her clit and her breasts with your dominant hand.
Done correctly, this can be a really stimulating series of moves, and could possibly cause her to climax sooner than you want. Watch for her leg pressing heavily down on your hips — but she might be doing this to tighten all the regional muscles to get more bang from your buck, so also pay attention to breathing, gasping, et al.
Don’t forget, you do have flexibility with your indominant hand, as well, if you want to find a creative way to toy with her with both hands.

Girls, if your man’s stretched out at your side, don’t forget to stroke his cock, or just hold it firmly if your concentration’s too affected. Using your thumb to rub up against that delicate sensation wonderland under his penis tip, the frenulum, will get him more aroused and might increase the intensity of his oral work — if that’s what you want. But stroking is a really nice touch and lets him know you want to appease him as much as he wants to do so for you.

Upsidedown: This is essentially a 69 — le soixante-neuf — position. She straddles your face with her face being down over your cock. The moves for each player are pretty limited, and I should think fairly obvious. If you’re making the night about her, this is probably not the way to go.
Why? Personally, I enjoy the odd 69, but I’d rather not be distracted while giving or receiving oral. I tend to have a very hard time focusing on the matters at hand — or tongue, as the case tends to be — when I’m being pleasured. If you want a subpar blowjob, then that’s your call, right? And I’m down with that. I just realize my limitations, that’s all. I suspect most chicks feel this way, but I know it’s not universal.
I think guys need to appreciate that the mechanics of fellatio are more complicated than cunnilingus is. You can lie there and let your tongue do the work for you, but we have to do the head-bobbing thing and focus on your lower shaft, et al. It’s a physically more demanding task. It’s complicated business, and those of us (like me) with ADHD and such might not be able to function well under the dichotomy of the much-vaunted 69. Just keep that in mind when you’re comparing notes with oral performances of the past.

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Mounted: This is when she sits on your face. This position is almost fetishistic in a way since so many guys seem to love the notion of a chick straddling their face. And why not? You open your eyes and her tits are hanging over your face.
It doesn’t allow her to really relax and enjoy the experience, though, so I think that while it can be fun in bursts, it shouldn’t be a long-sustained position. It’s hard on a woman’s thighs and calves, and can be hard on her lower back, as well. That said, it does allow for a deeper probing with a man’s tongue, and god knows that’s not something to complain about.

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The Rearguard: This is another position where you will be on your side. It’s a reverse-69, basically. If you’re a rightie, you’re on your left side, and vice versa. The difference this time is that she’s also on her side, with her back to you. You want her to lean back into your body, and your body is to lean forward into hers a little, so you both support each other and it allows her to rest more comfortably. You want her to prop her upper leg up and over your torso. It’ll probably drape over you just under your armpit, so you’ll have to have your dominant arm resting over her leg. Make sure her lower leg is bent, with her knee pulled up towards her a little. This gives you more room, stretches her vagina a bit to tighten it and give added sensation upon entry, and also stabilizes her more.
This position allows you to enter her from behind, and allows you better access to toying with her perineum by nuzzling it with your chin as you work her over with your mouth. That’s the beauty of this pose is that it’s the only one that really allows you unparalleled access to her whole vagina and her entire body, granting you the ability to stimulate anything, anywhere. Plus, you get the added nice sensation of having your cock against her back for that extra bit of intimacy.
Your indominant arm, unfortunately, will be in an awkward position and won’t be able to do a whole heck of a lot other than maybe stroking her inner thigh. You could always give her lower foot a massage, though, and it’s an intimate way to cater to her as you continue lapping her.
(You can reverse this position for a front-on-front sideways 69 as well. Backwards, it frees her from obligation, though. Frontwards, it allows you to delve in towards the cervix, so both ways has its advantages. Personally, I prefer this method of 69, since I find it easier to perform in. It might be interesting to hear your opinions on this matter, though. )

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It should go without saying that positioning is a pretty important factor. If she can’t get comfortable, she may not be able to come. Make sure she’s able to relax in the position she’s in. Check in with her during the process from time to time.
Remember all the tips from the previous three postings: Use your hands as much as possible, use your nose when you can, use your teeth, vary your pressure & rhythm, et al. Read the preceding postings, if you haven’t already.

21 thoughts on “The Man's Guide to Cunnilingus: Part 4

  1. another dickless chick

    no comments yet? i’ve visited this page three times already…

    response: can’t wait for the props.

  2. LeeLoreya

    yeah, subtly put the four (five) episodes together in a “by the way did you chekc this out” email….

  3. scribe called steff

    That’s hilarious! I put the “What, no comments?” up and you three respond within 20 minutes.

    “Another Dickless” — I LOVE your choice of name. Heh.

    Yeah, the props one should be interesting since I have to swallow my pride in reference to mentioning kitchen utensils. Stay tuned. Heh. Oh, boy. Yes, pride will be a challenge after that, especially given that a couple guy friends of mine are reading this shit now. There are some things friends just don’t need to know. Shit, man. Shoulda kept this URL from ’em. Ha.

    Simply — Email them to him. I’m considering expanding my column on BJs if I can think of anything valuable in the next week or two, and you could say you’ve been doing research and HAPPENED upon the cunnilingus posts.

    Leeloreya — Exactly!

    BUT QUESTIONS FOR YOU, GIRLS… (for all girls, really)…

    What did you think about my comments re: 69s? Am I the only chick that finds them insufferably difficult to focus on? Do you have the same opinion, that giving a guy head is more physically and mentally demanding than him performing on you is? Am I just having a little pity party here?

  4. Anonymous

    If memory serves, 69 is okay for the short term as a sort of novelty act, but a little bit too much of a good thing to enjoy either giving or receiving totally. So, yes, I too find it insufferably difficult to focus on. For long, at least.

    And yes, giving a guy head is more physically demanding, but we have the advantage in that our target is easier to find, if you get my drift.

  5. stretch td

    I’m with you on 69. I like to mix it in on occasion but it should not be a staple. If you want to be good at this, you need to concentrate. And once a woman’s lips touch my penis, I tend to lose focus.

    I find the most flexible position is with the woman at the end of the bed, with me kneeling on the ground. It permits the most maneuverability.

    And don’t forget to mention communications. You should always keep up 2-way communications. Let your man know what you like, what you want more of and give him suggestions. If he wants to please you, he will be receptive.

  6. intrigued

    I am finding the series enlightening. Never thought of fellatio as harder.

    Am embarassed to say I cannot visualize the rearguard. Photos or drawings?

    My spouse responds to climax based on my manual stimulation of her. A bit too tense I think in receiving cunnilingus.

    Might want to write a post or two about how best to bring chick to climax manually, then through intercourse.

  7. N

    69’ing is right out, unless he wants subpar, like you said!
    I’m way too distracted by anything happening to me that I’ll totally lose focus on what I’m trying to do, and I need to concentrate on him if I want to make sure I’m doing what he likes. I need focus to watch his movements, interpret sounds, and all that to find out what to do next. And if I’m getting cunnilingus, I want to lay back and experience all those fabulous sensations, instead of being distracted about making him feel good too, making sure he gets to orgasm. It’s selfish but what’s the use of both people having not so great orgasms if we could have better, just not at the same time?

    Recent example – my boyfriend was on his back and I was kneeling between his legs, going down on him. A few minutes into the action, my girlfriend viciously attacks me from behind with my favorite dildo. The rhythm she had thrusting the dildo into me and the rhythm I had sucking my boyfriend’s cock were totally different and I ended up having to ask her to stop so I could concentrate on getting him off because I could tell I wasn’t doing a good job because I was so distracted. I think I’d be ok if *I* was the one distracting myself, since I’d know what was coming. (Heh, no pun intended) But I haven’t tried that so I can’t say for sure.

  8. LeeLoreya

    69 is like that spiderman upside down kissing: nice to watch, way more difficult and acrobatic to achieve AND enjoy at the same time.

  9. scribe called steff

    Anon — Thanks. 🙂

    Stretch — I harp on communications enough, and have done so throughout the first three installments of this series. It should be common sense, but sadly, no. People need to talk during sex from time to time, and that should be obvious. Sigh.

    Intrigued — Speaking as someone who’s had whiplash in the past, I’ve had times when I’ve found a BJ too physically gruelling to continue. It’s difficult on a woman’s neck and shoulders, and just involves more movement in general than cunnilingus ever could, yes.

    Sorry, I have no photos or drawings for that pose. Her back is to your front, with your head down between her legs. She just drapes her upper leg over your torso so you can get your head in there nice and comfy without her leg weighing down on your head… find some kind of position from the back that allows you access in a comfortable manner.

    N — Now that’s an epic little situation. That’s one of those instances that having music playing so you both could keep the same rhythm/time might’ve helped… but I ain’t been in that position, so hey.

    Leeloreya — Exactly. 🙂

  10. jazz

    i like the 69. it turns me on to give a blow job so i’m turned on two ways.

    but the best 69 ever was me lying on my back and the guy propping himself up on top of me…

  11. Grover

    Concerning 69… I personally love it. Yes, the blowjob probably won’t bring me to orgasm, and neither will I my partner, but there’s something so… so… I dunno… yin-yang about it. It’s an act of mutual worship to be drawn out and savoured, arousal feeding arousal. It’s not about the orgasm, but rather the circular flow of affection.

    It’s like cuddling and/or making out, you know? It’s a deeply romantic gesture, just with added eroticism. Something both parties have 50/50 equal stakes in, and is far best when stretched out over a short while.

    Dude, writing that, I had the funniest thought: 69 is a Moebius kiss… give one half a twist, and there’s only one side to it, and that’s both sides.

    I crack myself up.

  12. Grover

    I think of it as a long wet slurpy sloppy sweet sweaty spicy way of saying “Thank you for being with me tonight.”

    Anybody else with me on these points, or am I flying solo?

  13. scribe called steff

    Jas — Heh, you fiesty vixen.

    I’m not OPPOSED to 69s by any stretch. I think they’re fun, but I think they shouldn’t be as regular as good old-fashioned oral, not in my bed, anyhow. When I get my givin’, I want it given good. 🙂 And I’m a stickler for delivering quality, too.

    I love the feeling of leaving a guy GASPING. It’s much more fun that way.

    Grover — Yeah, I do enjoy a well-balanced 69, definitely. My favourites have been slow, easy-paced ones that are heavy on the intimacy and affection. It’s the ones that have been frenetic that have left me wanting. I guess that for me it depends on the partner and it depends on the style of delivery.

    I do agree, there’s more oomph behind the emotional content of a well-delivered, well-paced 69.

    I think anytime a guy goes down on me tends to be a decent way to thank me for my presence, though. 😉

  14. Dirty Debbie

    Hey, it’s my first visit to your site and I love it.
    Is there any way we can email your series of instruction to men all over the planet?
    Also love the photos you’ve chosen to include
    You will definetly be added to my site.

    As for the 69…good if your on your side, a bit more freedom of movement.
    As for me when I get a good tongue on me that way I just go absolutely nuts, then I’m afraid I’m going to chomp down on his cock in passion.

  15. satisfier

    I like it when my lady spreads her labia and really opens up her vagina for me. I realize this may be a bit distracting for her but it really motivates me to probe her with my tongue and enables me to focus on the clitoral stimulation. I luv the taste of a clean, well “manicured” pussy and prolonged licking, flicking and tongue fucking her bring me a much more satisfying union because her pussy is so thouroughly wet from my efforts.

  16. TMelendez

    You say:
    As far as I’ve been able to discern, sucking dick’s the same no matter how you approach it.

    If women realized this ‘fact’ they would be a little more creative. Maybe being able to ‘deep throat’ all of it makes a difference… In the meantime .. just suck hard so that I can get more blood flowing into the area.

  17. xyz

    I’ve never had a problem with “mounted”. In fact, it is my favourite position. I find that it allows me be in control and have a better view of the show. It’s never been hard on my lower back, or thighs, or calves, so I’m not sure where that’s coming from. (Perhaps different body types?) And as far as relaxing, again no problems here.

    Maybe your advice just isn’t geared for me.

    Good luck!

  18. scribe called steff

    Satisfier — I mentioned that in another one of the entries, that chicks could help the guy with access. It definitely appeals to a lot of guys. Thanks.

    TM — Suckage is definitely a big factor. “Deep throating,” is probably out of the question for a lot of chicks, depending on the guy’s size, but that’s why a hand around the base of the shaft is really helpful. I touch on those topics in my “Giving Head” piece.

    XYZ — Obviously there are exceptions to every rule. Not every chick has lumbar issues or things like that, but then, not every chick is in great physical shape, either. I’m pretty sure that things like yoga and pilates and exercise in general make it easier for a chick to sustain positions like that, but I think it’s important for guys to know that it’s not something every woman’s going to be able to manage for an extended period.

    That you can handle it is awesome.

    ________

    I haven’t been happy with this posting. I shouldn’t have posted it when I did. The whole Hurricane Katrina thing was dominating the airwaves and I wrote it to try and take my mind off things, but never really got “into” it, so it’s lacking the punchy style of my other entries. (Shrug) It’s too bad, but there you have it. I think my “down” mood comes through in the writing and it seems a little more negative then my usual approach, which does suck.

    So, maybe I’ll rewrite it, but I probably won’t. I tend to move on too easily. Such is life.

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