A bedtime story

Oh, I love irony.

Tonight, I had this date lined up with this guy, who I was totally apprehensive about. He was one of these guys who grills you about everything, questions everything, and was pretty antagonistic. I thought, “Oh, maybe it’ll mellow when I meet him.”

First, he bails on me. So, against my better judgment, this morning, I agreed to meet him tonight, instead. He’s chatting with me on the cellphone as he’s driving out this evening (almost two hours late, might I add, a real piece of work, but apparently “things come up.” Right). I figured, “What the fuck. I’ll meet him, get it out of the system, and then I will absolutely know there was nothing to regret.”

He says, “All right, I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” About 45 minutes pass by, and I figure “He’s blown me off.” I was absolutely fine about it, though, because I knew precisely why, and honestly, I was thrilled he saved me the hassle.

Why? He was essentially trying to weasle a commitment from me that I’d fuck him after beers, without even having met before. In my crazy world, fucking’s precluded by a little thing called chemistry, so no, I didn’t commit. And I guess it’s why he bailed. Fucking twit.

Why? Because I got laid tonight anyhow. Yeah. That’s right. Not like it’s hard to do anyways, I mean, seriously. This guy’s my kinda man, though — funny, smart, positive, kind, and passionate, and not a prick at all. Much to be pleased about.

I had been meaning to meet him — he’s yet another e-dating guy I had on the list of “guys to talk to” — and I finally saw him online and thought I’d say hi. I told him I’d been stood up, was all dressed up, and had no place to go. He said, “Hey, wanna do something, then?” I told him he had time to come to his senses, but he came to me instead. And then we both came.

Know that thing called chemistry? In fucking spades.

I suspect Dickhead’s already got me blocked on MSN or something, but New Dude and I were laughing in bed that we should send him a thank-you card for bailing on me since I wouldn’t commit to putting out…

Since I put out for the dude who deserved it. Yeah, we got more plans for next weekend.

Hopefully Dickhead, and he knows who he is, will read this. He has the link to the site. That apprehension, Dick? It’s because you struck me as being a prick. I had concerns. Clearly, I was right. I’d rather fuck a nice guy who can be a bad boy (and this guy’s got body art — yummy) than a guy who starts off as a prick.

Thanks for getting me all dolled up, and giving me no place to go. Gave me an excuse to do something completely different. And someone completely different from you.

Enjoy your palm, buddy. And that thing called karma.

Lord knows I just enjoyed mine.