A few ways to get your man rock hard

  • Send him a very, very dirty note. He must receive the note when he’s not in your presence and can’t be for several hours. If you know his company isn’t too strict on emails received at the office, or he has a public email client like gmail or hotmail, then send him an email. If that’s not an option, before he leaves one morning, slip a printed note into his wallet. Tell him those dirty little thoughts you’re nursing about him — doing you from behind, soaping you in the shower, taking you on the floor in front the television — whatever gets you hot. Tell him how badly you’re wanting him to have you, and most guys will be getting hot at just the thought. But you have to describe the position and how hot it makes you in order for him to get really, really riled up. Then tell him you’ll be ready for him at a time when you know he’ll be able to be there. Tell him you’re touching yourself just thinking about it now.
  • Greet him naked at the door. (Or maybe in a man’s dress shirt or lingerie, with nothing else.) It’s so easy to do this inconspicuously. Get naked, and when answering the door, hide behind it as you crack it open and peer coyly around at him. As he sets his stuff down, he’ll clue in quickly. Just don’t expect small talk.
  • When you’re naked in the bed and he needs to leave to relieve himself, stretch out on your back, pull the covers off you, spreadeagle your legs, and start massaging your clit before he returns. When he returns, reach out as if to slip your finger insider yourself, then groan in frustration and tell him “it’s itchy and I can’t reach…” or something else as preposterously girlie-girl and grin like the bad girl you know he wants you to be.
  • Or just masturbate as per normal when you know he’ll be entering the room. There are few men strong enough to overcome this sight.
  • While watching nothing special on television, lean over suddenly and take his soft cock in your mouth. Gum and suck him as you massage his inner thigh and/or prostate. This kind of oral is just like gardening… just add moisture and warmth and watch it grow nice and big and strong. I’ve had reports that blowjobs from the soft state are incredibly hot.
  • Be really, really obvious about what you want. Initiate sex. All you really need to do, if you’re not sure how to be obvious, is stand up and take your clothes off and sweetly say, “Fuck me, please.” Really, is there a guy who wouldn’t enjoy such a proposition? It may seem crass to you, but to him, it’s hot, hot, hot.
_______________

You’re possibly thinking how easy it is to get guys hard anyhow, so why go through the effort? Because when you really, really want to fuck someone, you usually fuck better. Don’t you want to be fucked better? This goes back to the “pounded like a cheap steak” question I asked last week. If you’re wanting to be the cheap steak, then this will help, and it’s a great boost to his ego. To his way of thinking, it’s by being a bad girl that you’re being such a good girl.

Leave your hang-ups behind, girls. You’ll be surprised how fun breaking down your old boundaries can be. Try one of these out, and have a fun evening in.

Works for me. What do you think, guys? Anything else she can do to further her agenda?

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20 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    Posted October 18, 2005 at 2:48 pm | Permalink

    Mmmmmm! I’ll do just so.
    And is it ever going to be torrid when he gets back!

    BTW did you ever get my two emails on tantric sex?

    Angelpussy

  2. remittance girl
    Posted October 18, 2005 at 10:23 pm | Permalink

    I can attest to the fact that this works very well.

    So does being discretely filty in public places or places where he absolutely can’t do anything about it. The more incongruous the place the better, it seems.

    Just mentioning that your panties are uncomfortable becase they’re wet (anywhere but at home) works nicely. Works well at home too.

    And… not wearing panties at all. It doesn’t seem to matter where you mention this; he’s going to want to take a look or have a feel. You need to make a BIG fuss about him doing this discretely. Works like a charm.

    Also… men really respond to compliments — better than women do, actually. I have yet to meet a male who didn’t respond to having, “God, you have a sexy ass” whispered in his ear. And there’s always just staring at his crotch.

    In fact, with very few exceptions, any sexual agressiveness on a woman’s part that is delivered with an aura of faux demureness works.

    Hugs,

    rg

  3. jazz
    Posted October 19, 2005 at 12:51 am | Permalink

    on the same thread as remittance girl: i’ve taken my panties off at dinner and discretely dropped them in his lap during the night.

    damn. wish i had someone to have regular sex with!

  4. scribe called steff
    Posted October 19, 2005 at 1:22 am | Permalink

    RG, love it. Thanks. Yeah, I like being filthy in public, when I get the chance. It’s very fun to taunt ‘em. I always try to cop some feels in the movie theatre or under a table or walking down a side street or something. If you get ‘em riled where they can’t act on it, it always seems to be doubly effective.

    Jazz — Aw. :) And you’re naughty.

  5. Regular
    Posted October 19, 2005 at 6:08 am | Permalink

    What about the vice-versa situation?

  6. virgin
    Posted October 19, 2005 at 6:54 am | Permalink

    Someday… Definitely… Maybe…

    Wow, I hope so.

  7. scribe called steff
    Posted October 19, 2005 at 11:55 am | Permalink

    regular — heh. SADLY, for you boys, us girls are nowhere near as transparent and easy to arouse as you guys are for us. it’s a really good question, and i suppose it varies for a lot of chicks… no universal fuck-button moves pop in my mind for guys-on-gals, i’m afraid.

    my gay buddy gayboy tells me all the above trcks are ones they use on each other, too.

    i’ll write a little something soon, though, and get the chicks weighing in on all the ways you can toy with them. :)

    virgin — oh, shut up. definitely, sister. you just gotta dig out the desire to play, that’s all. ;)

  8. scribe called steff
    Posted October 19, 2005 at 12:19 pm | Permalink

    Angel — BTW, yeah, I got your articles, but I haven’t read ‘em. Been busy quite a bit over the last few days. A couple days of, um, err, “research” and then now I’m a working stiff again. Thanks, tho. I’ll get to it. :)

  9. piu piu
    Posted October 19, 2005 at 4:19 pm | Permalink

    i heard soft blowjob can be good, but can be embarassing if he dont get hard!

  10. scribe called steff
    Posted October 19, 2005 at 7:39 pm | Permalink

    Yeah, but that’s just how that goes. Guys are gonna stay soft sometimes. They’re gonna “underperform” sometimes, too. That’s life. It’s up to the chicks to not be judgmental, to keep their ego-tripping “what’s wrong with me” bullshit out of the bedroom/off the couch when the guy falters.

    As far as I’ve experienced, a chick who can be supportive and non-judgmental when that happens REALLY goes up in stock with the man.

    So, yeah, that may happen. Staying cool about it and saying something like, “Mm, that’s all right — it was just about doing something nice for you, anyhow. Did you enjoy it, though?” will go a long way to making him feel like he’s still good in your books.

    We put a little too much emphasis on hard cocks, and that’s probably my fault for the facetious title I put on this piece.

  11. tinyhands
    Posted October 19, 2005 at 11:50 pm | Permalink

    I didn’t comment yesterday because I thought everything that had been suggested was pretty damn HOT to begin with, but since you’ve asked for more…

    How about just be a WOMAN. Be soft and slinky and sexy in high heels and silk. I don’t want to read a personals ad that reads “I’m a tomboy who loves sports.” You can’t go wrong with your basic femininity.

    You know how good a man looks in a good suit? It goes both ways.

  12. j
    Posted October 20, 2005 at 2:37 am | Permalink

    i’m with the virgin on this one.

    yes please.
    hope to play.
    sooner than later.

  13. The Emissary of the Twin Arts
    Posted October 20, 2005 at 10:47 am | Permalink

    I’ll weigh in on this one.

    It’s my experience that men are more visually-oriented while women are tactile creatures. Now, for me, that means that women are actually easier to arouse. It takes a bit of time to learn each woman and what she wants, but once you get it down you’re pretty much set. Some women like a gradual buildup, some like to be surprised, some like both at different times. How you do it doesn’t matter so much so long as you’ve done the research beforehand. The main issue when dealing with a lady is trust. If she’s got the slightest doubts about you, you can do everything in the world right and all it will do is set off alarms in her head. She’ll pull away and you, thinking you’ve screwed up, are faced with the choice to either stop or press on and risk criminal charges.

    Now, if I knew how to make people trust me, I’d be selling used cars, so I’m afraid I can’t help you much with that one.

    Now men, men present the real challenge. Normally, most folk will stick with the “so horny they’ll be plugging a tree with a knothole of the appropriate height at the drop of a hat” stereotype. And normally, most folk will be right. But there’s a pretty big difference between the physical arousal and the mental arousal. Physical arousal is almost an unconscious response. Anything or nothing at all can set a man off. But the mistake is assuming that roll of quarters poking you in your hip means your man’s ready to get down.

    Maybe I’m just pickier than most, but if my mind isn’t fully absorbed in the act, I just don’t enjoy it at all. Sure, I’m usually still up for giving the lady a nice ride, but I spend most of that time wishing there was a TV on the ceiling so I could watch Firefly. There are a few nice triggers that get me personally in the right frame of mind, but here are a few things that you might want to consider. Most of these involve a little bit of research, but it’ll pay off big time in the end.

    Give him what he’s never had. You know that whole “the grass is always greener” line? Well there’s a bit of truth there. Got a shy or maybe a bit nerdy guy? Try being aggressive. Got a stud who knows it? Play it coy. Novelty value can go a long way, just don’t overplay it, or you risk boredom.

    Monkey see, monkey do. If he can tell there’s not a thought on your mind except imminent lovemaking, that can be enough to get him to the same point. It is possible to try too hard in the bedroom (or wherever you happen to like it). Just drop the hesitation and let fly. Results should be immediately noticeable.

    Pleasure is about the senses……so be sure to choose the right ones. You can’t go wrong with letting him see and hear you. Clothes are great, because each new garment lets him see something new about you. Talking to him, before and during. After can get a little weird, depending on your particular choice of mate.

    Let him know it’s about him too…… not just what’s dangling twixt his legs. If he thinks you’re just trying to get him hard, it can make him feel like a cheap toy. This is a really simple one, but something that can be disastrous if neglected. The idea of being chosen specifically taps into those primal instincts that say “you’re the head of the pack”. Most women can accomplish this by crooking a finger. The best know how to do it with a smile.

    In the end (as I’ve said before) it all usually comes down to a little bit of research. Nobody expects you to get it right on the first try (well, nobody worth being with anyway). Spending one evening in a bar with me wouldn’t automatically grant you the knowledge that I have a weakness for bathing suits, redheads, and aggressive women. But most men will appreciate you taking the time to try and figure out these things. And if you’re lucky enough to hook a smart guy (smart people always, always make better lovers) then usually he’ll recognize what you’re trying to do and give you a nudge in the right direction…

  14. scribe called steff
    Posted October 20, 2005 at 12:43 pm | Permalink

    Emissary — How much do YOU rock? Excellent comments!

    You make a lot of great points. Fortunately, I’d never just leave things up to the physical as far as the attraction goes. For me, seducing a guy always includes good conversation, great food, some laughs, and some naughtiness. It’s good to have a whole package, and I find the response is always worth my time.

    You certainly make good reasons for other chicks to follow suit. Thanks for the awesome contribution.

    I wonder if it’s the one-dimensional approach we chicks are getting used to making that are complicating our expectations of what a guy should be able to do for us. Hmm.

  15. remittance girl
    Posted October 21, 2005 at 9:06 pm | Permalink

    Emissary left a really important comment that begins “Let him know it’s about him too”.

    I would say that 90% of the sex drive of either males or females is bound up in ego and self-image.

    I have met men who had a brilliant knack of making you feel like you are the ONLY woman they want. (I’m positive this isn’t the case — but boy does it work like a charm).

    This is a skill that women need to hone. I think it’s a generational thing because, boy, can my mother ever do it! That trick of looking and addressing yourself in a way that makes a man think that he is the only male in the room that is worth your time. The ego boost is enormous and secure men are horny men.

    Hugs,

    rg

  16. ZaQ
    Posted October 23, 2005 at 2:55 pm | Permalink

    It works, just reading it made me hard

  17. Guy Named Josh
    Posted October 31, 2005 at 11:01 pm | Permalink

    Blowjobs when you’re soft are freaking incredible… sadly, I’ve had a couple of girlfriends who didn’t like doing it, thought it felt weird or something.

  18. Anonymous
    Posted May 1, 2006 at 11:38 pm | Permalink

    Not impressed. None of this would work on me. *yawn*

  19. scribe called steff
    Posted May 2, 2006 at 1:35 am | Permalink

    Ask me if I care. Really.

    Asshole comments get asshole responses.

  20. Anonymous
    Posted July 19, 2006 at 8:31 am | Permalink

    Hmmm…

    Will peruse the rest of your blog… but the analogue of this entry would be very interesting from any point of view.… How to make your woman hard!

    Nice work… worked me up…

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