Kissing: Oh, So Telling

Ah, the kiss.
We all remember those kisses that have left our knees weak, our hearts pounding, and us wanting more, more, and more. There’s something about a well-delivered kiss that can melt the hardest heart. There’s no sexual act that leaves us wanting more, wishing for more, than the kiss.
Me, I rate a good kisser on a curve, no matter what else he offers. I just can’t get over a great kiss. Out of all the things I do well, I think being a great kisser is one of the best things I offer in a relationship. There’s nothing more fun than laying a deep, passionate kiss on a man on a couch and getting into a heavy makeout session.
For all the fuss we make about sex — the oral, the penetrative, the games — if the kiss isn’t there, it’s hard to find real satisfaction in the rest of it.

Does he love me? I want to know
How can I tell, if he loves me so?
Is it in his eyes?
Oh no, you’ll be deceived
Is it in his signs? A
Oh no, he’ll make believe
If you want to know if he loves you so
It’s in his kiss
That’s where it is

After all, most sex trade workers will tell you the one thing they won’t do, is kiss a client on the lips. There’s something about eyes closed, tongue-probing that smacks of intimacy like no other sex act does.
I remember my first kiss, but I remember the first kiss that left me melted. It was a story-book date with a guy who was a poet. We would eventually spend seven years in and out of love, but the first time we enjoyed each other’s company was spent outdoors just like it was for any teenager. We headed to Vancouver’s famed Little Mountain and sat on a small garden bridge, talking the night away. Finally, he decided it was time to lay one on me, and we began to kiss. About a minute or two into it, a transformer in the park blew, and every light exploded into darkness. The full moon was the only illumination we had, and I can still, a decade and a half later, remember the shivers that ran up my spine.
When it comes to being single, I may miss the sex, but I mostly miss the kissing and touching that comes from straight-up intimacy. There’s more to be found in a warm body and a wet, warm kiss than there is in all the orgasms to follow.
Kissing comes down to a few things — how your mouths fit together, how you taste to each other, quality of breath, moisture, technique. Unfortunately, some people ain’t got the skill. Some people don’t have the hygeine. And some people just don’t have the passion.
Lip shape does play a pretty big factor in how a kiss comes off. If you’ve got thin or flat lips, it does make for a little less oomph, but there are things you can do to compensate.
Coming up next time, kissing techniques to leave ‘em wanting.

21 thoughts on “Kissing: Oh, So Telling

  1. jazz

    i forget the value of just kissing since i like sex so much. i met this boy and just made out with him and i felt like i was in sixth grade again. it was unbelievably sweet…

  2. blondie

    my first kiss was actually with a good friend of mine and came completely unexpectedly (and despite the confusion that followed, we are much better friends after). it was very passionate, but unfortunately we both forgot about some friends of ours who were sleeping on the couch in the same room, not more than a metre away.

  3. saltwatercowgirl

    It may be true that thin lips are a little less dramatic in the kissing department, but they are not as bad as oversized, dunlop tyre lips. There is nothing worse than leaning in for a nice kiss, only to feel like your face is being sucked off your head, and coming up for breath covered in saliva from the nose down!

  4. Anonymous

    My best kiss came from my current girlfriend. I’m pretty nervous when it comes to anything intimate.

    I drop her off at her house, and walk her up the driveway. At the garage door, we hug, and I give her a peck on the forehead. She looks up at me and says “I think you can do better than that”. And she gives me a mindblowing kiss.

  5. padme

    Cool..your from Vancouver? So am I. I just saw your blog for the first time. Love your blog…
    I’ll be back..

  6. Kirk

    The first kiss I remember was when I was about 15. I was living in Nashville and it was with a girl named Bunny. Elton John and Gordon Lightfoot songs were in the air and we slipped off for a walk. It was sweet and gentle.

    The next one that stands out in my memory would have been the next year. I was starting to date another girl. She had invited me over to her hosue for dinner with her family and after that we were in her Dad’s study listening to music. That was the first time I really kissed and was kissed. Deep, open, inviting, long and passionate. At least as well as 16 year olds can do passion. Which probably isn’t really too much as I think about it but it rocked at the time. That session also developed into my first experience going down of a woman – er, girl. I still don’t know whether it was that her parents really didn’t catch us or that they were too embarassed to catch us… I remember that kiss when I hear “bridge over troubled water” and her taste when I hear “cecilia.”

    I have to say other really great kisses came in the midst of some sort of high drama. Like standing on a street corner in San Francisco in the midst of one of the most romantic nights I ever experienced. A cab ride through the night with a woman I would never consumate an affair with but wanted to desperately.

    Kisses of real intimacy and honesty usually came unannounced and unexpected. Waking up to find myself wrapped up in a way so warm and comfortable. Walking up to each other and looking into each other’s eyes seeing everything about each other and feeling love both because of, and inspite of, what’s there.

  7. Grover

    “There’s no sexual act that leaves us wanting more, wishing for more, than the kiss.”

    Can I get an Amen? Usually when I fantasize about women, it’s not of the sex act, but a hot and heavy make-out with them.

  8. Amber

    My first kiss was from a boy who I was friends with and it was the day before he moved out of town. We were in grade 2. It was a bit shocking to me, but I knew he was going to do it when he called to me and ran up to me after we had parted ways while walking home together as we always did. His road was right and my house was straight on. The next kiss I had was from my third grade boyfriend who, too, moved out of town that year. I love kissing. It’s a deal breaker for me if the kisser isn’t good.

  9. Flint

    Weird blog comment confession #1 – I’m tongue tied, literally. I’m dating this Brazilian girl, one of the most amazing kissers I’ve ever met. Sitting on her couch the other day, she paused and asked me to stick out my tongue. And while this might seem a simple request, it’s one I’m unable to fulfill. There’s a connecting tissue between my tongue and the base of my mouth that limits the motion of my tongue. And that is only thing keeping me from being the best kisser I can possibly be. Ain’t life grand?

  10. j

    i think i’m going to get kissed quite thoroughly in a few weeks!!

    first time in donkey’s years. hope i’m not crap.

    oh, and ya for me!!

  11. TMelendez

    Steff… You kill me…

    You have me sitting here thinking about all my great kisses.. and its killing me.. I want someone right now… I want those feelings back..!!

    By the way, I would like for you and your interesting readers to please check out my latest post..
    Deception Nation I need the views from all over the park not only the right field.

  12. Balckguard

    Best kiss…hmm…16 yrs old, halking hand in hand up to the deserted library on a cold blustery winter day and then..Bam…she pushes me onto my back on the bench and she pulled me tword her. jeez….brings back memories.

  13. scribe called steff

    Hey, thanks for reminding me. I originally got depressed about it ‘cos the guy I was seeing then fell apart like a paper bag in water. Dude had more baggage than a Samsonite shop, and suddenly there was no more kissing to be had.

    Now, though, LOTSA practice. Sure. Gimme a week or two, k? 🙂

  14. Mocadaze

    My best kiss still to date was about six years ago when I was 17 with this guy who was a year older than me in high school and we went to a military ball together for JROTC. After the ball we went to the canal downtown in our city, and we stood next to it. As we watched the water, he pulled me close to him until I was just inches away from his face….when I started laughing. (I’m shy so I laugh in these situations) He asked me what was so funny so I told him I was cold since it was November and too cold to be standing outside in an evening gown anyway. He then drove me home and parked in front of my house and we talked for a while. Then “Beaty” by Dru Hill came on the radio and he started singing it to me and kissed me on the forehead. Although I am shy, it was the perfect moment, so I just had to give him a real kiss. I am so glad I did because it ended up being an amazing kiss. It was complete fireworks (maybe because of all the anticipation). I was tingling all over my body, I had never experienced anything like that in my life from a kiss and I haven’t since. It may have lasted only a minute but I will remember that kiss for the rest of my life. It was so amazing!

  15. thatlydiagirl

    I was fourteen when I discovered that the pussy is hard-wired to the mouth. This kiss that taught me that wasn’t an especially wonderful one, and this guy never turned out to be a particularly excellent kisser. But it was the first time I had the revelation of what sex could possibly be about, how wonderful and extremely powerful it would be, and how important sexuality might be to me. I, too, am a kiss-discriminator, and never suffered bad kissers very long. My husband is a delectable kisser, with the plushest, most decadent, fabulous plummy lips anyone could ever hope to kiss forever. I am so lucky.

  16. A Scribe Called Steff

    MORE COMMENTS FROM WHEN THIS WAS REPOSTED:
    1. Anonymous
    Posted October 14, 2006 at 11:56 pm | Permalink | Edit
    When I was 17, at summer camp, I had a mad crush on a girl with one canine tooth pointing outward. (It was really adorable, you’ll have to take my word for it.) I had only made out with a handful of girls prior, and she just took my breath away. Something about the way she kissed, her lips and that tooth…
    It’s been 19 years, and though I’ve had lots of great kissing partners, I haven’t found another one like her.
    2. Anonymous
    Posted October 19, 2006 at 12:00 am | Permalink | Edit
    I kissed this guy once at the Celebration of Light fireworks, when I was 19. It was the finale night. He kissed me with my back up against one of the rocks on the beach (out toward Kits beach, where the view was good and the population density wasn’t TOO bad – though this was 3 years ago now) and kissed me with such skill. What was truly memorable about it was that it was so all-consuming that (1) I lost the meaning of time for a while, and (2) I was shaking for a good 10 minutes later, and I didn’t know why. Even though he turned out to not like me anyway, but was just looking for a cheap fuck (because he told me flat out when I called him on it, and no, he didn’t succeed) I still remember that kiss as tops.
    Such a shame has to keep a rotation of girls – he would likely have been a keeper.
    3. Anonymous
    Posted October 27, 2006 at 8:00 pm | Permalink | Edit
    The guy I am currently dating is the best kisser I have ever experienced. In my 39 years, I’d never experienced the teasing, tender, and gentle kissing that makes my knees weak. And best of all, I can feel his love and passion for me when he gently devours my mouth, gently and deliberately…mmm…it’s something that’s even better to me than making love! Scary to think I could have went my whole life without experiencing this! wow!
    4. Anonymous
    Posted May 17, 2007 at 5:20 pm | Permalink | Edit
    I’ve experienced the ultimate in kissing on many occasions with skilled and passionate kissers. I’m a woman, and I’ve actually had orgasms from just kissing!
    Yes INDEED kissing is a sexual experience, and is not to be taken litely or ignored. It is definitely something a guy or gal should learn to deliver properly in order to please their mate.

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