Some fighting words

I’d like to take a moment, in light of the third anniversary of the Iraq War, to thank my readers in the military forces over there. Apparently it’s a pleasant surprise that they’re able to access my site despite some filters on their servers over there. Well, it’s pleasant for us both, I assure you.
I’ve had a few letters from guys in the Marines that have just made my day in the last few months. While I disagree violently with the premise of the war, and the execution thereof, and the lack of transparency from the powers that be, and despite a few bad apples in the bunch over there, I think most of the soldiers are just men and women doing their job — for a government that lied to them. The blame should always go on the heads of any organization, and the buck stops with Bush and the Dark Lord himself, Cheney. Make no mistake about it.
I hope that those great guys who’ve taken the time to send me letters find their ways home to their loved ones. I hope you find a way to keep from being too jaded about your government when you return. I hope you get the fuck out now, before it gets much worse.
Three fucking years already. 2,300 (American) dead (and counting), and no progress to really speak of. Last throes indeed, Dick. Fucking twit.
A comment was left elsewhere on the site this morning that got me thinking (my email notifier doesn’t specify which post). I believe it’s by a fella I think is one of those nifty Marine boys who’s written me, about the power of communication, particularly when absent from a loved one. If it’s the same guy who’s contacted me in the past, then his story is fairly simple. He and his wife had a nice relationship, but she was always very restrained in their lovemaking, and always had a lack of confidence in her body and her ability to express what she wanted.
Through constant validation and repeated wishes to know what she really, really wanted, she has finally found the way to open up. During his time stationed across the seas, they’ve been exchanging emails as often as events would allow, and it appears to be transforming their relationship in every way. Fantasies are being discussed, envelopes are being planned to be pushed, and the landscape of their relationship — with an ocean and a desert between them — is morphing into something much richer and more open. He’s counting the days before his return home is to happen, which, if I recall correctly, is in three weeks or so. (Here’s hoping it’s everything you’re dreaming of, J.)
There is nothing more powerful in your relationship than the power to communicate. The ability to express your needs and desires will transform every relationship in your life, but it will boggle the mind if you are able to express your sexual needs with a partner who’s open to hearing (and providing) what you truly desire.
Using tools like email, even when you’re living in the same town, or even the same house, can provide you with a safer means of expressing what you need. As time passes, you will learn to better express those desires in your voice, and eventually, what was once the ultimate act of vulnerability will have simply become a great, great trust shared by two people who know how to be on the same page.
Well, boys & girls, get home safely, and do your jobs with integrity. It’s time that chapter in your country’s history come to a close. Let’s hope that day comes soon.

4 thoughts on “Some fighting words

  1. Shay

    Wonderful post!
    Sometimes communication via e-mail (or IM) is easier when you’re trying to work out things or talk about fantasies because it’s somehow less “embarassing” or personal when you only have to type what you want instead of saying it out loud.
    And I know it’s one of the best ways to practise talking dirty. ^_~

    Hope you ladies and gentlemen abroad all get home safe !

  2. Grover

    Interesting what happens when a relationship is stripped down purely to communication and nothing else.. that the relationship between two people thousands of miles apart can grow.

  3. Beth

    Just an FYI, when you get comments e-mailed to you, you’ll see a little note under the comment – this case, it should say, “Posted by Beth to The Cunting Linguist at 3/21/2006 at 11:25 a.m.” – and the name of your blog should be a hyperlink. Click it and it will take you to the post from whence the comment came.

  4. scribe called steff

    shay — thank you, babe.

    yeah, i think the best way to get past the fear of being vulnerable is by doing it in a “safe” way. if you’re scared of communicating about an issue, it’s best to put it in writing, and wait a little while, re-read it, and make sure it says what you’re trying to say. hit send, and on you go. opening up is hard, for any of us, and it takes practice and courage and vigilance. i remind myself every day that fear of being open robbed me of great experiences in my life. it’s a constant effort, but it’s easier as time goes on.

    and yes, practicing dirty talk’s not all that bad a thing, either. ๐Ÿ™‚

    grover — yes, absolutely. i learned that through experience, too. i was in the Yukon, my lover was getting his degree in applied physics at Oxford. internet wasn’t available then, in the yukon, and i was at the mercy of long distance conversations… we opened up sexually through conversation, and when we reunited, well, let’s say there were new sparks that never really went away.

    beth — FABULOUS. i always just assumed the link was to the board, and i’m thinking “geez, i KNOW my url. where the hell’s the message?” i can be a little obtuse from time to time. thank you. ๐Ÿ™‚

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