This one sounds really innocuous, until you start thinking of the implications of language. In reviewing my webstats just now, I came across someone who landed on me via this search string:
“How do I position myself when having sex with my honeymoon partner?”
Honeymoon partner. Wow. Bet that’ll be an unbridled night of torrid passion. Honeymoon partner. Not lover, not mate, not even spouse. Honeymoon partner.
One should make love on a honeymoon, don’t you think? Not “have sex”? Unfortunately, I don’t know what page they landed on, since I’m too cheap to pay for a full stats package and the info switches over too quickly. Sigh.
If you can’t call the person you’re about to supposedly spend the rest of your life with your lover, you might want to double-think those vows. Lover. I absolutely love having a lover. Not just a boyfriend or a partner or whatever, but a lover. Doesn’t it just roll off the tongue? Don’t you get a little hot just thinking of the word? Isn’t it almost… tasty?
But having sex with a honeymoon partner? I mean, it sounds like there’s gonna be a chaperone standing in the corner, throwing out coaching lessons as they go.
“No, no. To the left. The left. There you go… right. Now again. Again. Deeper. Oh, come on, do it like you mean it. Deeper. Yep! That’s the ticket. Let’s have some more of that! Fabulous. You’re almost getting the hang of… oh, slippage. What a shame. Just when you were fulfilling your potential, too! All right, let’s try that again. From the top.”
Sigh. And this is why people need to stop overthinking things and go more with their feeling. Life’s too short to be clinical.
just a hunch… maybe english is a second language for this person? those individuals sometimes have unusual phrasing (as far as a native speaker sees it)
~sg
perhaps, but as an ESL teacher, i gotta say, i’d stand up and cheer if one of my students used the phrase “position myself” or even phrased as well as that line was done. i think the phrase is weird, honeymoon partner, but it’s sophisticated english, so i’d doubt that.
but hey. just an opinion. 😉
I think you’re on to something. It’s English, but English English as opposed to American English. They use that term.
Ooooh…
Until I read your comment, I was reading it as “poison myself”. So I’m all … THAT’S the part she finds weird?!
My dear scribe,
I wonder if the “honeymoon partner” for sex might refer to someone other than the newly wed “other”? Hmmm, it does open up possibilities (none of which I would anticipate myself pursuing during MY honeymoon of course). Consider the following:
certain sex positions with a (second) partner may be more successful (and circumspect?) while ones newly betrothed lies asleep nearby… In short, the chaperone may be gettin’ sum, and the two-timin’ newlywed wants some advice!
Here’s my take:
It was written by a man who has had sex before with “loose” women–before marriage.
Now that he’s going to be with the future mother of his children, he wants to know how “good girls” want to have sex.
😀
Oh, good thinking. That could well be something viable there.
You know, AAG, together we shall rule the world! Ha.
In reply to haaaaa:
I’m English and it sounds weird to me too!
ditto eccentrica