You asked? My thoughts on tit-fucking, then

I’ve opened the topic of handjobs, and I’ll continue on them, too, but first a foray into titty-fucking, as one male reader has asked my thoughts on it.
I don’t know the numbers for how many women enjoy titty-fucking, but I know I’m actually turned off by the thought of it, and I simply won’t engage. I wish I wasn’t actually turned off , but it is what it is.
Fortunately, it’s never been a problem. I’ve actually never expressed the dislike until a conversation with the Guy tonight, but no guy I’ve ever been with has been interested. Why not? Maybe it’s not as common a fetish as porn would have us believe. Nonetheless, I have a couple reasons for why it’s not my thang.
First off, depending who’s doing the measuring and my time of month (breasts swell and reduce in relation to the cycle), I’m between a generous B-cup and a smallish C-cup. I don’t care, I’m fine with my breasts as-is, but their size would limit the benefit for titty-fucking, IMHO.
Second, I just don’t find it attractive. It’s not my thing. I won’t apologize for not liking it, either. I won’t judge others, since I really don’t give a fuck what you do in your home. It gets you off? FABULOUS. Not me.
There’s an interesting dichotomy in the sexual world. One aspect is the woman who enjoys almost any sexual act. She’s often portrayed as lewd, slutty, easy, or loose, just because she’s an enthusiast. And that’s bullshit, my friends. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the activities you enjoy surrounding sex should not judge who you are as a person.
But then there’s the flipside. If you’re hesitant to do some of the so-called edgier/pornified things, you get painted a bit as a vanilla lover, or someone who’s “conservative” in the bedroom, which is also bullshit, my friends. There are many things I’ll do, and I’m caught between both extremes on the perception of what kind of woman I am, too. I’ve probably had more public sex than a lion’s share of the people out there, I’ve dabbled in bondage and many other little game-type scenarios. I dirty talk, I’m creative, and I sure as hell take the initiative. I’ll talk about nearly any aspect of sex, but there are things that pull me back into my shell a bit, things that sometimes daunt me, things that even turn me off. I shouldn’t be judged for knowing what I like or dislike, and that’s precisely what happens too fucking much.
There are sex-bloggers who might even snicker at me for admitting I have found handjobs awkward, or that I’m not as come-friendly as others might be, or that I view titty-fucking with great disdain, but you know what? Get the fuck over it. It’s my prerogative.
Being a good lover is: A) Knowing what you like, dislike, and love. B) Knowing how to express your needs. C) Being open-minded without compromising yourself, whatever that might mean for you. D) Not judging your lover’s desires, but being true to yourself so you’re not going to resent them after the fact. (Always, always consider how you’re going to feel if you perform an act that’s not generally your cup of tea. Some things I’ll do because I know how “he’ll” feel, and thus, I know I’ll feel great seeing that expression on “his” face. Some things, “his” response just doesn’t matter because I know I’ll be left feeling like I’ve compromised who I am as a result of my actions.)
Sex and love and intimacy are minefields. There are things that will hit and miss with each of us, and our likes or dislikes need to be respected, or the collateral damage leaves all players pretty frickin’ fragged.
Honestly, titty-fucking’s just one of those things that I suspect every woman has a multitude of thoughts on. Personally, being a woman with a little more to grab around the mid-section, there’s nothing that turns me on better than a guy who navigates my entire body and who enjoys every inch of me. I’m fortunate in my present relationship to have a great guy who appreciates the whole of the female form, not just the three money-shot areas that many guys obsess over: Twat, tits, and ass.
And that’s one of the problems with titty-fucking. It takes some of us back to the boring same old shit that focuses on specific regions of our bodies when not enough of our bodies get explored during the rest of the act. When’s the last time you kissed her behind the knees? Or nibbled her low back? Or sucked the folds of her elbows? Huh?
My opinion on tit-fucking isn’t going to change any time soon. It’s one of those things that’s just true to who I am. I’m open to anything from anal to bondage to outdoor sex and sex toys of all kinds, but there are some things I’m just not in the mindset to ever enjoy, and I don’t even want to humour the guy and do it, just because I know how I’ll feel at the end of it, and it probably will be something along the lines of feeling cheap. No, thanks.
Again, this is MY perspective on tit-fucking. There are women who absolutely love it, and kudos to them. Whatever gets your rocks off, baby. But don’t judge me for what I dislike. Instead, realize that my knowing not only what I dislike but being able to express why takes maturity, insight, and self-knowledge – things I wish more people had the courage to express. Until, however, we stop judging people for what they do or don’t do, the sexual self-knowledge club might remain on the exclusive side of things. A real fucking pity, that.

15 thoughts on “You asked? My thoughts on tit-fucking, then

  1. cutie

    Amen sister!

    The few times I’ve done this, when I was younger, I couldn’t get the thought of “if you get that shit on my face or in my hair, I’ll kick your ass”, out of my head. Not pleasurable.

  2. myself

    And then there’s me. I tend to end up with breast men inevitably (haven’t been with one man that wasn’t) but with DDs (naturally, thank you very much..), I guess that’s the way it goes! And, for myself, as I’ve said time and time again, if it creates pleasure for my partner, I’ll do because it will come back to me in spades most times. I actually don’t mind titty fucking a bit, little bit of oral depending on your position included as well, the man tends to end up putty in my hands, which is where I like ’em!

  3. sweetpea

    Well said. Although I enjoy a good titty fuck, and I am with a partner who loves it too. But that being said it is a once in a while kind of thing.

    I love your discussion of knowing what you like and dislike. I have been reading the new bottoming book and they talk about kinky sex being like gourmet sex. I think that is very true.

    I also think like gourmet foods some people get snobby about it. Like the only good red wine is a dry oaky red. The idea that the good gourmet foods are the more difficult ones to enjoy. I have been meaning to blog about this.

  4. broad abroad

    I don’t know my breast size in NorthAmerican measurement but they are larger than softballs. And yes, I have been asked to titty-fuck a few times.

    As the previous reader posted, if it creates pleasure for my partner, I’ll do it. In the past I have done it more often, now less. It may not be my favourite but I wouldn’t rule it out.

    At times, it can be uncomfortable; sometimes pleasurable and other times I get the giggles – it’s a certain mood and time-of-the-month thing for me. I would like to be asked though or least have talked about it before.

  5. scribe called steff

    Cutie– Yeah, generally, if you’re having those negative/apprehensive thoughts, it’s something not worth doing. If I had a lover and it was really important to him, I’d certainly consider it, but I’ve fortunately never had to worry about it, and luckily, still don’t. 🙂

    Ah, I have chosen well!

    Myself — There’s a lot to be said for turning a guy into putty, or sculpting a little rock, as the case might be. I personally love trying to melt my guy. Always a fun challenge. I just don’t need to go the titty route, since it’s not his bag. Yay.

    Sweetpea — Kinks can be acquired tastes, and yes, it takes some educating and some experimentation and some customizing, but it usually pays dividends. I’m a gourmet in both food and sex, and even love combining the two, of course, so hey. Sounds like a good topic to me. 🙂

    Broad — You’re probably double-D-ish. (DD-cup.)

    Yep, whenever it’s a little outside the mainstream, I generally believe people need to discuss their intentions before acting upon it. The last thing you need is to leave your lover feeling awkward or out of sorts, because if they feel you didn’t respect them enought o talk about it beforehand, they probably won’t discuss it with you after, and it’ll likely just blow up or worse, fester.

  6. scribe called steff

    Snicker. 😛 I have no dope. No 4/20 for me, just another day.

    I’m behaving myself, being a good girl. These days, I’ll only smoke dope when it magically appears before me, like a beacon in the night. When I buy dope, I smoke like a fiend and become incorrigible. Thus, restraint. Besides, the last two times I’ve bought it, I’ve developed bronchitis, since I’m asthamatic and smoking dope’s about as smart as an alcoholic working in a distillery.

    Plus, my new man doesn’t smoke it, although he has no problem with me smoking it, but I’d rather not be a stoned fool when we’re together, and when we’re not together, I’m more content with life anyhow, so I feel less need.

    But I’m itching to buy an eighth and have a lost weekend. I might pick up a little when I head out of town solo next week. 🙂 I’m sure I’ll have things to report as a result, of course. Nothing like getting baked and wandering the oceanside, doing photography. How I love that!

  7. Adora

    I can’t do the tit-fucking thing cause I’m pretty flat, but I’m kind of sad about it – it seems like it could be fun if you’re in the right mood. I totally get why someone wouldn’t like it, though. It’s probably a pretty one-sided thing.

    My guy likes to rub his cock against my nipples though – he actually got off that way once (under a stairwell at school, no less.) That was a lot of fun for both of us. 🙂

  8. Solymar

    Speaking of sex outside the mainstream, has anyone other chick besides me gotten off from anal before?

  9. scribe called steff

    A LOT of chicks get off on anal.

    We may not have the same full advantage as men do, having anal, but the sphincter’s a happy land of nerve endings, and done properly, anal should be pleasant for everyone.

    The trick is, stimulating the anus enough to allow for it to relax enough to admit a decent sized cock in it. If guys don’t do it properly, it’s unpleasant, as I’ve learned firsthand.

    You are SO not alone, liking anal, and it’s not nearly as out of the mainstream as it used to be. Right now, it’s one of the trendiest sexual approaches going. Everyone wants to learn anal.

    I blame it on Sex & The City.

  10. Miss Syl

    I have no problem with the act, but *hate* the term “titty-fucking.” Heh.

    Actually, it’s just “titty”…it always sounds like the guy hasn’t progressed past second grade sexually when he uses it.

    But there really isn’t another term, is there?

    I’m ample in the bosom department (naturally), and I think every man I’ve been with has done this with me. I just always assumed all guys were into it, and so always made it a regular part of my routine. I don’t necessarily get off on the act itself personally, but I don’t dislike it either, and I get off on seeing the guy getting off about it. And as someone above mentioned, add a little oral to it, and you get some *really* nice responses.

    But of course, with a position like that, your lover should be respectful and be careful about where he comes when he does. Despite every damn porn movie on earth, most women don’t like men to come on their faces. The guy needs to be absolutely clear on what she does and doesn’t like in that department before taking on the cock betwen the breasts move.

    In terms of you having to defend your position, which is really what I wanted to write about: don’t feel you have to. What makes a sexually evolved person is not what they do, but that they have and exercise choice on what they do and don’t want, based on personal preference and not soceital pressure or judgment.

    People aren’t sexually free because they’ll allow any act to be performed on them. In fact, some people are far less free because of just that. They’re sexually free when they know what they like, what they don’t like, and they find someone equally sexually free to respect that and perform what they like *with* them, not *on* them.

    Eh, I’m sure that could be better articulated, but I’m short for time.

  11. Haaaaaaa

    Steff – Thanks for the post and all the lively discussion. I’ve been on a business trip for a few days and this is a lot of fun to read in the Admirals Club while waiting for my plane.

    Since I’m the guy who seemed to have started all this, I would just like to clarify that I call it “tit-fucking” usually instead of “titty-fucking”. I don’t see it as a whole sex act but as one of those acts of foreplay that maybe come before or after a blowjob or handjob. Sometimes I come between my wifes breasts. When I do, I clean it up with a warm cloth.

    I do things for my wife that don’t turn me on, like sticking my tongue in her ear. For some reason she loves it. As the Scribe scribed, I don’t judge her for that and she doesn’t judge me for the tit fucking. These are things we just do for each other.

  12. Anonymous

    I’m with you girl. Do we really need to be defensive over not liking something? I mean, come on, haven’t we left the guy who whines over every single thing you say “no” to back in high school?

    Ava

  13. Anonymous

    I don’t get off on licking pussy but I do a lot of it because it makes my wife happy. She doesn’t enjoy everything we do in bed together, I know, but she does some thing because they make me happy. And if I’m happy, she’s happy and vice versa. Sex isn’t always about doing what you want or what gets you off, you have a partner to think about as well. Of course, ideally, you are both getting off on 99% of the stuff you do together.

  14. sxy_m

    As a male conisseur of titfucking, I found it interesting to read your site. Goes hand in hand with what my sister’s said “Most women aren’t into it.” Regarding the whole “your so vanilla” or whatever, that is so wrong. Everybody, man or woman has an absolute right to enforce what they are willing to do and not. No person has a right to make someone else do something against their will.

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