Every now and then, I get reminded of how dumb corporate America really is. This is the tab on the Always Slim Maxi with Wings. You pull this off, and you adhere it to your panties. I've mentioned this before, but now I've photographed it for proof. Dumbasses.
Have a Happy period? And what part of it is supposed to be the happiest -- the cramping, the irritability that has successfully been used as a defense in murder, the occasional staining of sheets and underwear, the fact that it costs $10 a month in products, the inability to play/do certain sports, like swimming? Which part is supposed to make me happy, huh?
Here's a memo, Corporate America: I bleed because I have to. I bleed only because biology deems it necessary. I've tried to suppress the bastard through drugs, but when I became a murderous, depressed bitch, I decided that bleeding was an only slightly better option, because then my murderous depression would at least be on the clock.
And you fucking know this slogan was written by some mama's boy who's always the first to show up on holidays and who tries to constantly please every woman in his life.
Happy ain't part of the gig, man. I'd be more loyal to a product that called it like it is. How's this:
Your period sucks, and we know it. That's why we've made the best product we can. Here's hoping it makes things just a little better for you today. Oh. And don't kill anyone. Here's 50 cents off your next bottle of Midol.
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6 Comments
Oh, I thank god every day that I can take Depo Provera.…
And when I can’t take that anymore, I’ll convince someone to remove my uterus.
Ahhhhhhh, the thought makes me happier than it really should!
*Clap* *Clap* *Clap*
I saw those stupid tabs and wondered who the f_ck thought up that? Geez.
Do you ever notice how crappy people drive during that time of the month?
i use that brand and have NEVER noticed that before!
ridiculous…
having my period often reminds me of my youth and vitality and fertility. it does not in of itself make me feel sexy, but it is a lovely reminder that i’m still young!
i do not mind my periods so much. but maybe i’m one of those lucky ones that don’t get too bent out of shape about it. :-)
i have the bastard things every three weeks … no luxury four week cycle for me, oh no, i bleed for one week out of every three and am horrible for a week preceding; normality (whatever that is) hits one week out of three. it’s a wonder i’m still married.
frankly, if i found that happy little slogan on one of my horribly expensive* sanitary products, there would be people eating paper in the chemist as i ram it down their fucking throats**!
* taxed as a ‘luxury item’ in the UK and so, subject to 17.5% VAT. that really gets on my tits.
** apologies for the anger, awaiting the red devil even as we speak :/
no no no steph.…. periods are a thing to celebrate, something unique to women, an indication of your youth
and an indication that you arent gonna end up with a kid in 9mnths time :-D (bloody expecencive accessories)
unless you aint gettin none… in which case it sux0rs