Show Me the Pussy Redux: I like Selling With Sex, BUT…

I did a thingie-thing on Show Me the Money, the blatantly sexual and sexist new gameshow. Someone commented that I should let it go, ‘cos sex has always sold, and it’ll never change.

So, you misunderstand me. I don’t care that they’re using sex to sell. I know sex sells. I count on sex selling. I beg you from my undersexed standing in life, please, continue using sex to sell. It’s all I’m getting. Hell, we’re all primal. We’re always going to love the idea of tossing convention aside and getting heavy, shagging like beasts. If I had a problem with that, it’d make me a hypocrite.

MY problem is an altogether different thing. My problem is using chicks as statues for no reason other than they’re scantily clad. My problem is that we forget that sexy can span many different looks and feels. A chick in a couple tight, layered t-shirts and tight blue jeans and 3″ heels is sexy, too. A sexpot smeared with automobile grease and wearing a grease-smeared coverall unbuttoned to the navel with a sweat-soaked tank on and a sloppy ponytail’s pretty fucking hot too. Then there’s Meg Ryan in City of Angels with her surgical scrub bottoms and her white tanktop and bare feet looking pretty goddamned hot, too. Why does it always have to be a fucking micro tube dress? Can’t we expand our perceptions? How about a sexy chick in cat-eye glasses, an open tuxedo shirt, black lace nylons, a garter, a loose bow-tie, and red silk bra and panties, standing there with a martini in her hand?

And the statues thing — they can’t really talk. They parrot cliched lines. They contribute nothing but aesthetic. That bothers me. I’m sick and tired of people forgetting that, as Pink says, sexy and smart are not oil and water.

I despise seeing mute cookie-cutter models. I want sexy brainiacs. I say bring back the naughty librarian. Overdue? You’re going to be punished. Bend over.

What happened to hot chicks with authority? Remember Nicholson’s controversial quote in A Few Good Men? “There’s nothing more sexy on this earth, I tell you, than a woman you have to salute in the morning. Promote them all, I say. If you haven’t had a blowjob from a woman that outranks you, you’re letting the best in life pass you by. Unfortunately, I have to settle with cold showers until the elect a woman in the White House.”

Instead, we have Barbies just standing there, looking pretty. If desire is about wanting what you can’t have, then let’s raise the bar for the women we have as sex objects. I should think a stupid bimbette would be far more attainable than a sexy, authoritarian, smart, bold woman emanating sexual confidence, wouldn’t you?

I’m angry that stereotypes and cliches still dominate the landscape. I’m angry that we seem to be demanding less of sex than we used to. I’d rather us be exploiting women a la Foxy Brown than these gameshow cookie-cutters. Let’s put the sexiness back into the bitch slap and see if we can’t have a little more powerful women in these blatant sexual roles. I want more hot and vibrant women like the dynamite Sara Ramirez, who plays the smart, feisty, independent, sexually assertive, no-apologies Callie Torres on Grey’s Anatomy.

But, by all means, continue using sex to sell. Just don’t forget to add the smarts. We should demand more of our sexploitation. After all, isn’t it about revving up our fantasies? C’mon, dream bigger. Dream better.

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Wow, two posts, one day. Woo hoo. I’m takin’ tomorrah off. It’s the Grey Cup weekend here (the Canuck version of the Super Bowl) and I have managed to secure a tellyvision for my daddy’s hospital room. I’m going out to watch the game with Dad. Should make his day, methinks!