Some Thoughts on Us Bloggers

This debate is heating up in the comments, where he who has been (albeit ever so briefly) mentioned here took issue to me not posting his whole email for you people to look at. Gee, I respect privacy. I’m such an evil wench. Check out the comments for more fun-filled flamethrowing.

So, I got an email on a dating site that really pissed me off. It’s from some reader who found me through my Craigslist ad way back when.

See, he’s reading me rather religiously, whatever, and has sent me some longwinded emails saying he feels “guilty” for reading me and “sorry” that I spend so much of my time writing blogs.

So, lemme just clear this the fuck up right now.

I type fast and I write even faster than I can type. Writing is not hard for me. I’m not being arrogant, just stating facts. It means I let a lot of crap go that I should probably be more selective about when I’m editing. But I don’t care.

See, if I edited more, if I took it slower, you’d get less content, but I’d also have less of a life. I don’t instant message people. I don’t send long, meandering, ponderous emails to people. I don’t surf the net. I don’t read blogs, even. What I do on my computer is WRITE. That’s all. The rest of the time, I do what I do.

And, no, I’ll never be Little Miss Social. I’m not built that way. I can certainly work a room, but I need my alone time, too.

For some of us, writing is like breathing. We have to. We must. If we don’t, we wither and waste away. I know what that feels like — I felt it for six long, hellish years — so I grab tenaciously at this gift of writing now, and I’m never, ever letting go.

You want to feel guilty for compulsively reading? That’s your prerogative. I don’t give a shit. I’d like to hear from readers, but I’d be writing even if no one was out there. Because I simply must do it.

There is a quote I can recite by heart without even blinking. It’s on my wall. It’s tattooed on my brain, really. “Writing for a living is a privilege, not a god-given right, as the opportunities are few, though sought after by many. Years of rejection serve as a crude winnowing process, after which those left standing are those who simply must write.” Richard Ford.

I must write. But I don’t need to accept pity. I don’t need to spend more than one moment longer than I wish to doing this. And believe me, I don’t.

I do this for me. Luckily, I’ve allowed you all along for the ride. The same gift of luck is extended to you by any blogger whose work you love. We do it for ourselves, and when we find ourselves with an audience, it makes us smile simply because we discover that through our voices we have somehow tapped into the universal condition and found an echo of familiarity among others.

I’ve been writing some guidelines for the dating masses, having been peer-pressured into it, and having realized I do have a thing or four that I think are applicable. I’ll get that up next time. Had to get this off my chest. ‘cos, like, I do it for me. πŸ˜‰ (This took me 12 minutes, for those with enquiring minds.)

17 thoughts on “Some Thoughts on Us Bloggers

  1. Sir Aragorn

    Two thumbs up, Steff! As usual you got it nailed right down to the point! Blogging is like therapy… Keep going!

  2. Beth

    Steff, my Vancouver-residing-separated-at-birth-on-the-same-wavelength twin, right fuckin’ on, baby! Good for you. I just wrote something similar the other day. Writers write. It’s what we do.

    And to the man who wrote to you, since he should be reading this, I say:

    You, sir, are an ass. You feel sorry for Steff that she has so much time to blog? Puh-leeze. When Steff doesn’t write, we clammor for her to come back. But like she says, she doesn’t do it for us. She does it for herself, and she is simply generous enough to allow you a glimpse into her world. Do you feel sorry for Stephen King for all the time he has to write his megabestsellers? Poor Stephen King. He’s a bazillionaire and could do anything with his time and live anywhere in the world. But he chooses to write books in Maine. Why? Because he needs the money? Hardly. He’ll never be able to spend all he has. He does it because he’s a writer. And writers write.

    Words are like air for us. We need them to survive.

    Take your sympathy elsewhere. Steff doesn’t need it.

  3. emma

    Steff, you are so right. I didn’t know why I started blogging, but now I do, like you, I can whip off post after post and feel so much better than when I used to bottle up all the thoughts inside. You go girl!

  4. scribe called steff

    AW, shucks. Thanks, guys. I sent the dood a pretty snippish email, so I think he got the message. I get pretty bent out of shape about some things, and that’s one of them — unwanted pity and/or advice from people who don’t know me. Grr!

    Beth — Yeah, that Stephen King needs to get out some more.

    Aragorn — It’s the only therapy in my budget. πŸ™‚

    Sal — Good to have ya along.

    Emma — I don’t do any personal writing anymore except for what’s seen publically on this and my other blog, usually. Something about doing it for the masses is more cathartic. Much more ownership is taken of the situation, I think. I dunno. Works like all get-out for me, though!

    -steff.

  5. Reader

    Just to make you happy Beth, yes I read it.
    As one of WRITERS here said “I am the ass”.
    You can’t breath without expressing yourself? Was that your expression? I see.
    Did you see that letter you are talking about?
    Did you ask Steff to see it or email it to you or post it somewhere before calling names?
    Did you answered “Nope”? Writers don’t do that, right?! I see, you are busy with the writing
    at a time when some idiot trying to interrupt such wonderful process.

    Steff, why don’t you post it and let charming Beth and others your readers
    to judge who from us didn’t get what. Whole message, not that one part
    that make you so upset. Oh, I see, its YOUR blog and it is not a discussion forum.
    Fine with me.

    I admit, and I said it in that message as well, that It was jumping in another person
    life. And I said sorry for how many times exactly, Steff? But that was only part of the message. Do you like that particular part better? Fine.

    You would not post it. Its fine with me. Then just send it to Beth as she is
    your “separated-at-birth” sister and your allegiant admirer. Would you, please?
    I would like to hear from her after that. She can call me after that 100 times
    “ass” or whatever she have in her “modern writer vocabulary” to make her point
    and I am fine with that as well.

    All the best for all of you.
    And I would say it one more time – Steff, I am sorry.
    To make you upset like that, wasn’t my goal at all.

  6. Anonymous

    Dear Reader,

    All we know about you is what Steff tells us: that you write “long, meandering, ponderous emails”.
    But do you realize that by posting the above comment, you serve to substantiate her claim?

    If you genuinely wish to be less intrusive in another person’s life online when you’ve never actually met the person, the best method is to simply read what is publicly available. Especially now that you know that lengthy private emails and comments in which you have mini-arguments with yourself are not necessarily welcome, because these obligate the blogger to respond.

    – me.

  7. scribe called steff

    “Reader” — No. I’m not wasting my time. Anonymous is right, all I said was that you write long emails, and you said you felt sorry for me.

    You say you’re “sorry” all the way through it. How about not doing it, then?

    I have never, and will never, post another person’s email in my blog. I won’t waste my time sending it to Beth. Why do you care what others think anyhow? Geez.

    And your comment about “why can’t you breathe without expressing yourself” is ridiculous. Every breath we writers take is about expressing ourselves. We live the examined lives. YOU are trying to fix what ain’t broken. Don’t try to insinuate yourself into others’ lives. You’re not necessarily wanted there.

    You’re making this harder on yourself. I addressed a tiny little part of your letter, didn’t refer to you in any way that would identify you, and wrote about my reaction, that’s all. Now you’re making it all about you. Get over it.

    Anon — Amen.

  8. scribe called steff

    And by the way, why’s it a fucking issue that it’s “my blog” and I’m treating it as such? I see nowhere that I signed on the dotted line to provide others a voice, others a forum on my own space. Fuck that. You want a forum for discussion? You want a voice? Start your own damned blog.

    I have nothing to apologize for. Gawd. And get over the fact that someone called you an ass who doesn’t know you. Me, I think your email probably came from a good place, but if you’re apologizing all the way through for sending something, then don’t fucking send it in the first place. You obviously know you’re crossing an unwanted line, so why go and subject the other person to unasked for, unsolicited advice and commentary?

    I could post your message, but you’d get the same response, and I guarantee you, a few others would join in the “you, sir, are an ass” chorus, because it’s simply not cool to subject others to your philosophizing about their existence. All you know about my life is what I’ve allowed you to know, and possibly regrettably I have opened myself too much to the masses, and this is the sort of thing I need to contend with as a result.

    Still. It’s my forum, not a forum for the masses. My life’s not broken. Don’t try to fix it. I’m not interested in others trying to offer me Spackle for my less than perfect life, a life that’s no more imperfect than any other. Sheesh.

  9. Beth

    Mr. Reader, as that how you appear to prefer to be addressed:

    Steff, obedient girl that she is (heh!) did indeed send your letter to me. I stand by my earlier “ass” assessment.

    Perhaps if you wrote something coherent, it would have gone down a little easier. But Jesus, man, if you yourself have to say that you don’t know if you’re making any sense, guess what, bub? You’re probably not! Don’t hit the send key!

    But in the spirit of fairness, good for you for apologizing to her in your comment. She deserved an apology.

    In the future, may I suggest that you refrain from sending people unsolicited concern for how they’re living what you perceive to be their pathetic lives? Unless you’ve achieved perfection, you have no right to judge anyone’s choices.

  10. Sir Aragorn

    Beth, do you actually READ comments before you throw wobblies? I never said I feel sorry for Steff – on the contrary, I’m addicted to her blog and want her to keep going strong!

    Regards
    sir aragorn!

  11. scribe called steff

    Aragorn–

    I think it’s you who’s misattributing quotes! I’m pretty sure she was speaking the dude who originally emailed me, not you…

    But correct me if I’m wrong, Beth.

  12. Sir Aragorn

    If that’s the case I do appologize…
    Maybe a misunderstanding through my use of the “sir” – sorry…

  13. Rally

    Is it wrong that I got turned on when Steff got so angry? WHoa…..

    It must be this crappy Vancouver weather that is getting to me….any heat is hot right now.

    Wait…it could also be the fact I just got a vasectomy and somehow feel empowered and more sexually charged. Bah, who knows.

    Speaking of blogs….maybe I should stop neglecting mine.

  14. scribe called steff

    Bahahahhaahah.

    You know what it is, don’t you, Rally?

    Yer sittin’ there imagining all the make-up sex– err, bloggin’ I’ll have to do.

    And rightfully so. Could get downright messy.

    “Any heat is hot right now.”

    Yeah, tell that to my coworkers who insist on keeping this office at, and I’m not shitting you, 26 celsius.

    I should just show up for work in dressed in a grass skirt and a lei, while brandishing a coconut filled with a Mai Tai or something.

    I’m probably not helping your fantasy-filled moment there.

    Dressed in a grass skirt, a lei, and raging violently at the peons all around me. Better?

    Aragorn — Yes, methinks you’re failing to realize that “sir” is a typically inocuous form of respectful addressing. πŸ™‚

  15. Beth

    Yup, my use of “sir” was generic, not an address to Aragorn.

    Indeed I do read the comments! With relish!

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