Oh, Look, It’s a Winter’s Weekend!

So, I was asked recently what the best sex I ever had was, and why.

This guy, right off the bat, had something about him that I trusted. This was a fling, nothing more, but there was that connection and some moment-seizing got under way pretty quickly after we met. We decided the next weekend we’d take no prisoners, lock ourselves away, and go on the perfect quest for rug burn.

Much to his surprise when he showed up at four on Friday, I answered the door wearing only a oversized dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, barefoot with painted toenails. It was a robust welcome, and things certainly improved from there. We had a late dinner of steaks and risotto, then laid around naked watching movies and drinking wine and not keeping our hands to ourslves. The rest of the weekend, till about 7 on Sunday, was pretty much that — constant nakedness, food, and sex. Getting clean periodically and playing dirty the rest of the time.

I jokingly called it the “poor man’s weekend away”. But it’s like the David Mamet flick says, “Fun? Doesn’t everybody? Everybody makes their own fun. If you don’t make your own fun, it’s not fun, it’s entertainment.”

I’m a writer girl. Fun’s in my budget, entertainment ain’t. Ha.

Anyhow. So far my weekend’s excitement comes in the form of getting laid off. Whee, fun. I have prospects, though, so I’m giving it a week before I pop my gasket. I shall be cool, calm. Sex doesn’t look like it’s in the picture. Sad.

But that doesn’t need to be the case for you. Say, don’t YOU feel like getting away? What, you can’t afford it? Oh, you silly! Have I got just the thing for you! But wait… there’s more!

Okay, okay. Seriously now. Put your money away. Buy a couple frozen pizzas, some wine, okay, scratch that, a lot of wine. Stock up on eggs and breakfast goodies. Get some nibblie bits. And stay in for a self-imposed rainy-day weekend.

In case you want to get up to old tricks with a bottle of chocolate sauce or a tub of golden honey, I’ll share a little trick with you. Make use of those crockpots and rice cookers. You’ll need a “low” or “keep warm” option. Plug it in next to the bed, put some warm, damp towels in there, and when you’re all deliciously sticky but spent, you can just lie there and towel each other off. The warmth’s a pretty awesome thing at that stage of the game, AND you don’t need to get up. If you plan ahead with a couple bottles of water and a plate of strawberries, you’re set.

*But don’t be fools and put the towel down on the bed ‘cos you’re getting all riled back up during the “here, let me get that for you” antics and all. That’d just be dumb-ass. Put the towel back in the thingie-thing, or toss it unceremoniously against the wall. Let’s just avoid conjuring more wet spots than are necessary.

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