I want to write right now. I want to, but I can’t. I have to shower and depart with a friend.
But I’m throwing down a mental note, a public one, with a query to involve you and tease myself so as to induce the mood to complete this tangent at a later time, like perhaps this evening.
I’m experiencing a flurry of competitive thoughts right now, all on the loves lost and the madcap emotions that go with. I’m comparing and contrasting reality to fiction, and wondering if it’s just me or if love really is this much more complicated than the storybooks seem to portray it to be.
I’ve never had a lot of lovers. It’s not my style. I’m too intense for that. I fall easily and I fall hard, and getting hurt isn’t exactly something I’m wild about. When I let my guard down, I tend to lower it in a hurry. Sometimes it’s the wrong choice and sometimes it’s the right one. I guess this is true for us all.
But it seems to me that my stories have always been so dramatic. When things have gone south in relationships there’s always been some weird and almost-fictitious oddball twist that has served as a catalyst. It’s baffling at times just how much my past has read like a book…
…or is it me who’s so well read and projecting my epicly bent mentalities on my realities? Who fucking knows. There are days I lament being the person I am, ‘cos everything in my life is so much bigger than I’d have expected it to be, and the ripples left by all those causalities seem more like waves.
Yes, I’m watching my romantic epics on DVD again. Sigh. It’s troubling to watch some grand romantic epic and be able to sit back and relate to that loss and the grief of failed love of that magnitude. And it’s too early to pour wine, so I thought I’d say hi.
As I said, however, my time is demanded elsewhere, so girl’s gotta jet. Shower, then jet. Happy Sunday, my good people.
Tell me, though. Does your love life feel like it’s got a cinematic bent to it? Do you ever wonder how it is that a little old you could have a relationship that seems so big? Naturally, from the outsider’s point of view, it’s just another fling, but… to you, it’s the story of a lifetime, right? Share with us.