The Modern Fairy Tale

You know, I don’t usually repost that forwarded spam email that your family and all those people who think they’re such witty judges of humour send to you. Why? Because they usually suck.

But when you take into consideration that my 71-year-old aunt sent me this and I yam who I yam and all, and then this one’s pretty darned cute. So, humour me and read it anyways.


This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little:

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess’ lap and said: ” Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.

One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don’t fuckin think so.

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