Andy Rooney's Thoughts on Women Over 30

I’m 33. Next month, I’ll be 34. I have a date-ish thing this afternoon with someone my age, but I found myself pondering last night whether the option of older men is something I’m thinking more towards these days or not. I’m as yet undecided. Of course, there’s the possibility I’ll hit it off with this fellow today, then I won’t bother continuing the pondering just now.

But in the meantime, here’s something a friend on Facebook posted, and I quite liked. Personally, I’m a fan of Andy Rooney, even if he’s 107 and constantly putting his foot in his mouth. He’s still as honest as they come, and that’s important criteria in my world (given I’m constantly putting my foot in my mouth and am as honest as the day is long, heh).

So, Mr. Rooney’s thoughts on women over 30:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask,”What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over 30 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.

A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women.

Women over 30 couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.

A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons.

Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

3 thoughts on “Andy Rooney's Thoughts on Women Over 30

  1. Anonymous

    I’m new to your blog tonight and I had to read some of your past posts. Literally, the guide to cunnilingus for men made me want to print it all out and plaster thousands across the entire town I live in. It’s a small hamlet smothered in Baptistness. Separation of church and state to these people means keeping the Catholics out of office. I may have to take drastic measures. Your words of wisdom deserve memorization by every male on the tip toe of sexual clutch pop.
    This is going to sound odd but, it reminded of an ex-lover of years ago who last touched me like no one before or since… I miss him terribly… and it makes me struggle to keep breathing.
    -A

  2. Haaaaaaa

    Rooney is right on a great many things. Biggest thing for me is self-confidence in a woman – hard to find in a <30-something.

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