[ed. note: this first appeared on my original-and-still-ticking first blog a couple days ago but given that my traffic there is, like, 12 or something, i thought i’d double my mileage and share here. two-fer!]
so, i’m a big fan of “signs”, eh? i like to look for symbolism in the itty-bitty happenings of this meagre existence of mine as clues of whether i’m headed in the right direction or just totally missing the target. you know, you get fired, probably a sign you’re not working the right job, right? not like it’s fucking rocket science.
every now and then, though, i start opting for the more obscure shit.
like when i had friends over last monday night. i’d taken out the trash earlier and happened to glance over and see a 5-foot tall standing antique wooden floor lamp standing next to a Dumpster in the back alley. ho! nice piece! needs rewiring and the varnish’s patination has bubbled up like it had bad heat exposure once, and the bottom looks like it mighta withstood a flood ‘cos it’s all dark-like (i’m goin’ CSI on a floor lamp… nice!) but it’s still a plum piece. it’s now my winter project. gonna strip it, sand it, and stain it, then rewire it, and THEN i’ll have TWO antique wooden floor lamps. a lucky gal am i.
anyhow. the sign? well, it coincided with when i first really began to realize how unhappy i am at my job (despite enjoying the job itself… kills my will to write, and that i can no longer abide**) and that i kinda needed to walk away from my job.
so i had one really big sign: work called me on my vacation about something. old-fashioned i might be, but methinks vacations are something sacred. then, two, i “see the light”… literally, when i see this lamp in the alley.
personally, i enjoy the thought of it as some kinda signal of where i was going wrong. i’m gonna really savour that memory after i spend the months ahead turning it from a throw-away find into a must-keep treasure.
y’know, now that i’ll start having time on my hands again. loves me a project. :) that it’ll be worth some several hundred dollars once done doesn’t hurt, neither.
PS: on an aside? keep the hourly pay, people. salary’s just another way of saying “yer staying late this week”. i’m just sayin’. hindsight 20/20 and all…
**but, WAIT, there’s more! there’s a juicier bitsy behind my departure, too. saturday. really. at some point. saturday-ish, for sure. it could be a “stay home and nurse a bottle of red” kind of encounter. after all, i’m getting four cavities filled in the afternoon. medicating is a good thing. medicating and writing? priceless.