i saw the sign, just opened up my eyes and…

[ed. note: this first appeared on my original-and-still-ticking first blog a couple days ago but given that my traffic there is, like, 12 or something, i thought i’d double my mileage and share here. two-fer!]

so, i’m a big fan of “signs”, eh? i like to look for symbolism in the itty-bitty happenings of this meagre existence of mine as clues of whether i’m headed in the right direction or just totally missing the target. you know, you get fired, probably a sign you’re not working the right job, right? not like it’s fucking rocket science.

every now and then, though, i start opting for the more obscure shit.

like when i had friends over last monday night. i’d taken out the trash earlier and happened to glance over and see a 5-foot tall standing antique wooden floor lamp standing next to a Dumpster in the back alley. ho! nice piece! needs rewiring and the varnish’s patination has bubbled up like it had bad heat exposure once, and the bottom looks like it mighta withstood a flood ‘cos it’s all dark-like (i’m goin’ CSI on a floor lamp… nice!) but it’s still a plum piece. it’s now my winter project. gonna strip it, sand it, and stain it, then rewire it, and THEN i’ll have TWO antique wooden floor lamps. a lucky gal am i.

anyhow. the sign? well, it coincided with when i first really began to realize how unhappy i am at my job (despite enjoying the job itself… kills my will to write, and that i can no longer abide**) and that i kinda needed to walk away from my job.

so i had one really big sign: work called me on my vacation about something. old-fashioned i might be, but methinks vacations are something sacred. then, two, i “see the light”… literally, when i see this lamp in the alley.

personally, i enjoy the thought of it as some kinda signal of where i was going wrong. i’m gonna really savour that memory after i spend the months ahead turning it from a throw-away find into a must-keep treasure.

y’know, now that i’ll start having time on my hands again. loves me a project. 🙂 that it’ll be worth some several hundred dollars once done doesn’t hurt, neither.

PS: on an aside? keep the hourly pay, people. salary’s just another way of saying “yer staying late this week”. i’m just sayin’. hindsight 20/20 and all…

**but, WAIT, there’s more! there’s a juicier bitsy behind my departure, too. saturday. really. at some point. saturday-ish, for sure. it could be a “stay home and nurse a bottle of red” kind of encounter. after all, i’m getting four cavities filled in the afternoon. medicating is a good thing. medicating and writing? priceless.

4 thoughts on “i saw the sign, just opened up my eyes and…

  1. Haaaaaaa

    Good find on the lamp. Sometimes I throw stuff out that is still good, but I don’t have room for it. Usually if I just rest it next to the dumpster, someone will find it.

    Salary or hourly?? I am firm believer that everything that seems unfair in the short-term, works out to be be fair in the long-term. In other words, a salaried position can be a lot of late hours at first, but in the long-run will net you more flexibility than the hourly position. After you work yourself up the line a bit, a salaried position affords you the ability to take a fews off here and there, for things like dentist appointments, without being docked.

  2. Oz

    Hey Steff,

    Thanks for the reply, as always; it was very nice to read your response.

    First off, I would love to see pictures of these lamps. Before and after pictures would be great, so be sure to get the before pictures, well, before, you know?

    Secondly, I know what you mean about salary. If you’re an Angel fan at all you’ll understand the reference, but I call my old company Wolfram & Hart. It’s a large company, and the only US Company that employs more people than the US Government. You can look it up, and I’m sure you’ll know who/what I’m writing of.

    I started as an hourly employee, but because of my leadership and “go get it” attitude, I was courted for a few years to join the ranks of the upper W&H associates (salaried associates, that is). I kept deferring until the offer was large enough that I wouldn’t have to work my daytime teaching job. I thought that it was a great opportunity, being young, but I was giving up a job that I loved to make more money. I didn’t just make more money; I worked longer hours, and sold my soul in the process. After a few years of this I wanted my life back, and left Wolfram & Hart. It was the best decision of my life. I went back to my love, and now I make $20,000 more than I ever did selling my soul. I give my all when I’m employed by someone, and this is what I did for them. They always promised great benefits, but it never really materialized.

    Stay hourly unless you have some interest in the company is my suggestion. F you have an interest, like being a partner, or having started the company yourself, then don’t do it. You’re much better off staying hourly. Once you’re salary they own you. DON’T DO IT!

    As far as Haaaaaaa’s reply, he’s sold his soul for sure (maybe not). Yes, you don’t lose pay when you’re not there (I never did), but when you need time it was frowned upon unless it’s for the good of “The Company”. Then you pay for it later in longer hours. Stay hourly!

  3. Anonymous

    Interesting seeing people’s opinions on salary vs hourly, my opinion? hourly gives you more flexibility, salary gives you more responsibility, I guess it depends what you want. I feel hourly does not give the security that salary does, benifits help too, bonus, medical, etc. it’s all about choices I guess.

  4. Scribe Called Steff

    Haaaa — Yeah, I signed up for salary because at first I was told summer hours were sporadic, etc, so I was covering my ass. Next thing I know, I’m working OT all summer long. WTF?

    So, back to hourly on the new/old job. Fuck this.

    Oz — Yeah, it’s nce to get the same amount on every cheque and be able to plan for incidentals, but if you want to keep some autonomy, well, autonomy’s the first thing to go with salary. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing. Heh.

    Anon — Yeah, it’s about choices. I’m choosing my art over a little extra security. Choices are important. They define us and what we’re willing to do in life, and now I’m no longer willing to give much of myself to work. Not right now, anyhow.

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