We came. We saw. We camped.

We left early.

I’m nursing a hell of a sun-burnt face. My sneakers may never be the same again. There’s a story there, and you’ll hear it later.

I return to work Tuesday and have already written a pretty bombshell posting for Tuesday night. I ain’t even risking a teaser on that one. Just get your asses back here and read it on Wednesday, y’hear?

For Monday, I plan to spend some time writing tonight or tomorrow on my evil encounter with the lagoon from hell and the attack of the hermit crabs. Jesus Christ. I nearly had a heart attack I was so freaked out!

I have some pictures, but they fail to communicate the terror. But that’s why I’m a writer, right?

Yes, I shall relay the Attack of the Hermit Crabs to you before Monday. With pictures.

Other than that, the camping trip entailed a great deal of drinking and smoking pot and eating decadently with our new best friends from the UK, Sheffield and Manchester to be exact, who were camping next to us, taking a nature break before heading in town for a wedding. Ironically, it was her birthday, so when in town we got Twinkies and sparklers: the perfect campground birthday cake, for a late-evening celebration. Along with the local herbal remedies, of course.

Yesterday was hangovers and rain showers. We packed up the tent, loaded up the scooters, and saw the skies part into beautiful sunshine right after we gave our spot away. Boy, were we pissed. But we didn’t have rain gear, having packed poorly, and didn’t want to risk a night of deluges when the next ferry was 18 hours away.

There’s also another story in there about the trials and tribulations of my scooter’s air filter and our comedic attempt to improve my pathetic uphill performance, but a last minute wrench attack saved the day and we made the ferry just in time. There’s the punchline for ya, the sex writer who can’t get her scooter up(hill).

All in all, it was a pretty intense camping trip. And let’s hear it for enduring the onslaught of creepy little fuckin’ hermit crabs. Repeat after me: Do NOT go into the lagoon! Check back for all the sordid details!

By the way, for those keeping score at home, having not set a camp fire in a good many years, I was pleased to see I could get a good fire going in less than 60 seconds! :) I was a Girl Scout leader, you know.