Fuck off with your dates, you captains of industry!

So, way off topic?

When you buy something like, oh, say, mayonnaise, and it’s been on the shelf for nine months, and it has an expiry down to the DAY… how are you supposed to take this seriously? Oh, it’s 16/01/08, so this is officially bad now. Like the molecules just look up at some cosmic clock and some head molecule guy shouts, “Okay, boys… that’s a shift! Time to go bad, baby.

Christ. I’m using the motherfucking mayonnaise, all right? You don’t hear from me in a week, send in the professionals. I’m having the motherfuckin’ mayo.