Putting the "Play" Back into Playing with Yourself

Ahh… masturbation. Not everybody does it, but everybody should.

The trouble is, most of us that do do it are routine about it. Hey, even I have my go-to tricks. Masturbation’s usually something like this: “Well, I’m horny, I’d rather be post-horny with the fun of having had an orgasm, so let me just touch myself here and I’ll get that over with…” …but without all the fancy thinking stuff, because, really, who among us plots out our masturbatory plan in advance? Half the beauty of masturbation is that no scheming needs to come into play. A bit of privacy and a willing hand, and you’re half way to post-orgasmic bliss.

Here’s the thing, though. Putting the “play” back into playing with yourself could yield a bigger, better self-serve orgasm than the ones you’ve been having all your life, and might even introduce new things into your sex life. If you’re a woman and you’ve never yet been able to orgasm (you’re not alone, don’t worry, read my posting on it here), “playing” with yourself is THE most important thing you can do that will help you get to that point where you’ll finally be able to orgasm after all.

Here’s a letter from a reader that gave me a good chuckle and prompted this mini-posting in the first place:

I came across your website and started reading, and there was this article about handjobs. Well, I am a guy, so I got some serious practice in spanking the monkey, but damn! The thing about being really sensitive at the base of the penis? I never knew!

The really sad thing is that I had to get to the advanced age of 37 years to find out. All these man-years of wanking, and the hand was always a couple inches too far up.

Oh well. The good news is I am single at the moment, so I can put this newly acquired knowledge to good use. You’ve really improved my sex life.

So, readers, start touching surrounding areas in a variety of ways. Things to consider:

  • Grope yourself in other areas, caress yourself, try to heighten your arousal. For example, try using your free hand to squeeze a nipple as you play below.
  • Close your eyes and try a variety of touching techniques on areas surround your favourite spots. How does it feel? Finding anything new?
  • Try bringing sex toys into the equation, and don’t just follow the instructions. Using a vibrator to play over genital-surrounding areas can be very surprising. This goes for men, too! Imagine a nice vibrating toy resting under your balls as you jack off. Lovely, yes? [And you’ll have a vibrator to use with women (learn how to sterilize it, though) for those times you finish before her yet still want to please her.]
  • Try taking yourself to the brink of orgasm, then stopping, and go back to watching a movie or something, and finish the orgasm a couple hours later– it’ll be bigger and with more bang for your buck, and teasing–even yourself–can be entertaining at times. (I’ve posted before about orgasm-denying masturbation before big dates when you know you’re getting laid.)

No one should be able to come into YOUR house and show you how to get things done, right? It’s all about mastering your domain. Explore self-play. It’s safe, free, and you’ll never get rejected.

(New readers: I did a series on masturbation and women way back, which I consider very worth reading, among some of my best work. They include: Why 40% of Women Don’t Masturbate, Why Women Should Masturbate (Particularly the 40%), and my rant against a misogynist who said women shouldn’t be allowed to masturbate is also worth a look.)

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