Things I Love to Do, and Can, ‘Cause I’m Single – #7

Note: If you’re wondering why the list started at #6, it’s because I thought “sleep in, get drunk, masturbate, burp, and wear pajamas for the whole day” were really obvious as a solid lock for the top 5. I mean, really, come on. They’re universal. We’re not proud that we like to be that way sometimes, but we secretly love to do ’em all. And on the same day? Ha, yeah, score. It’s the Catholic way to sin: In a bunch, so you can be penitent all in one shot and get the guilt over with sooner. I thought it only fitting I take a moment to acknowledge what should be obvious but, in the Puritanical age we sometimes seem to live in, may well not be obvious, in tribute to the dear departed George Carlin, who I know would really understand.

Saying “My holiday can’t end this soon!” and sleeping in till 8 on a Monday, then casually cycling to work at 11 after an eggs-and-sausage brekkie, and getting home at 8:30, with supper getting on the table around 9:30. Like I did today and tonight. :)

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