So, I got up early to make myself muffins today. It was a new recipe. Cinnamon Banana-Peanut Butter Muffins. I thought it looked really liquidy, but I thought “Stranger things have happened…” I mean, I know of flourless cake recipes, right?
So, I bake them, I take poke them, the finger indent pops back up, which is the tried-and-true method of knowing when muffins are ready.
Except this time. See, I take ’em out, take a deep breath, think, “Wow, these are going to rock! They smell SO! good!” I put ’em atop the stove… and I step off to tinker while watching the morning news, awaiting my kettle to boil.
I go back, and the muffins have fallen! They’ve gone flat, like bad souffles. “WHAT?” I bake ’em longer… they still look raw. “FUCK!”
There was no saving ’em. I tried. Cinnamon banana-y, peanutty goodness? DAMN RIGHT I tried to save them. I may have lost 40 pounds, but I’m no fool.
So, they’re no good. Somewhat raw, can’t eat ’em. Question: Is it safe to feed them to the seagulls and pigeons? Cinnamon and banana-y goodness can’t go entirely to waste, right?
So, can I feel ’em to the birds? Whatcha say, minions?
Fuckin’ recipe… 25 years of muffin-making and not one batch has ever failed me. My perfect record is no more. Fuckin’ recipe!