Um, The Weirdest Poll Ever (Or One Of)

So, I got up early to make myself muffins today. It was a new recipe. Cinnamon Banana-Peanut Butter Muffins. I thought it looked really liquidy, but I thought “Stranger things have happened…” I mean, I know of flourless cake recipes, right?
So, I bake them, I take poke them, the finger indent pops back up, which is the tried-and-true method of knowing when muffins are ready.
Except this time. See, I take ’em out, take a deep breath, think, “Wow, these are going to rock! They smell SO! good!” I put ’em atop the stove… and I step off to tinker while watching the morning news, awaiting my kettle to boil.
I go back, and the muffins have fallen! They’ve gone flat, like bad souffles. “WHAT?” I bake ’em longer… they still look raw. “FUCK!”
There was no saving ’em. I tried. Cinnamon banana-y, peanutty goodness? DAMN RIGHT I tried to save them. I may have lost 40 pounds, but I’m no fool.
___
So, they’re no good. Somewhat raw, can’t eat ’em. Question: Is it safe to feed them to the seagulls and pigeons? Cinnamon and banana-y goodness can’t go entirely to waste, right?
So, can I feel ’em to the birds? Whatcha say, minions?
Fuckin’ recipe… 25 years of muffin-making and not one batch has ever failed me. My perfect record is no more. Fuckin’ recipe!

6 thoughts on “Um, The Weirdest Poll Ever (Or One Of)

  1. D.P.

    I’d say it’s safe. We used to make suet balls with peanut butter all the time when I was a kid. All the ingredients seem ok. Too bad, they sound good.

  2. Chuck

    Seagulls and pigeons will eat anything with no apparent side effects beyond getting fat and crapping on your bike, so it should be safe to feed them your fallen muffins.

  3. Scribe Called Steff

    GB / MTP: LOL. Yeah, well, after that one time of feeding the wasabi to them on Granville Island I’ve decided my inner almost-PETA supporter won’t allow it. But thanks for the snicker. πŸ˜‰

    [For those curious: Years and years ago GB and I started balling up some wasabi and chucking it at seagulls… let’s just say we know what a thirsty seagull looks like.]

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    Everyone else:

    I have decided to double my pleasure, double my fun, and I’m intermittently taking a couple muffins, breaking it into quarters, and hurling ’em off my third-floor balcony to the middle of the alleyway.

    Passing neighbours get confused why muffins are down there, and I’m stunned how fast the birds figure it out, too.

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    Brian: A brave man.

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