You people realize you only have four days left to get me a birthday present before I turn 35, right? I mean, SNAP, SNAP, here.
Time to get crack-a-lackin’! I mean, the ripe age of 35? Gifts cushion the blow, I’m told!
If you’re having troubles choosing what to appease my voracious appetite for life with? Books are a great start. Or clothing store certificates. Or booze. We loves the booze. And PayPal is willing to accept your credit cards.
Sure, there are worthy things to contribute your money to… but why would you do that when you can give to me?
Oh, and confidential to Clay Aiken: Wow. I would have never guessed! Except for the fact that you totally epitomized “flaming closet boy” forever. Just saying.
[And if you think this posting is crass or selfish, come on, have a sense of humour. Or just click through to my PayPal account.]