So, a Twitterer made the comment that, with the holidays almost here, the annual malaise of reflection and regret would soon be upon him. And I thought, “Wow, this is gonna be the first time ever I sit down at the end of a year and go, “Holy fuck. I accomplished THAT?””
16 months ago, I acknowledged a few things to myself. I hated my job, hated who I had become, hated the way I treated my friends, hated the negativity I was constantly caught in, and hated my body. I was initially overcome with despondency. With so much to work on, where in the fuck would I start?
The trouble with being an unhappy person, or at the very least unhappy with your life, is precisely that: Where in the fuck do you start? Continue reading
Yearly Archives: 2008
My New Swank Sofa!
This, friends, is my sexy new sofa. This thing screams “Make out on me!” Doesn’t it? At the very least, I should think. The leather’s shade is called “Sinatra Cream”. GayBoy and I already have a joke about how if it’s good enough for Sinatra to cream… Well.
This is that expensive soft and matte leather finish that keeps your skin from sticking to it. I do promise to test that theory at, um, length at my earliest convenience.
Mm. Leather. It smells so nice, too. Don’t think I haven’t considered how annoying all the dimples will be to keep cleaned out over time, but… They look so purty. So retro and upscale yet not.
Beats the fuck out of the piece-of-shit $185 futon I’ve had destroying my back for five years.
Can’t wait to see how the makeout test goes. Now, to make some opportunity knock. But that’s phase B. See, this weekend comes the clothes shopping. 🙂
At Any Given Moment
I want to write. I do. I want to sit here and cut deep into literary myself and have it all spill out in glorious crimson verbosity. I want that. More than anything.
I haven’t felt able to connect with writing lately. When life becomes hard and I have to grit my teeth to get through it, there’s a certain point at which I mentally flick off so that I won’t delve too deeply into what I presume is a morass of adversity. Why go there when life itself is enough of a struggle on a daily basis?
A friend and I, embroiled in latenight wine and pondering years ago, surmised that my failings in writing fiction — as I had been trying my hand at long form and assessed that my shortcomings came from my inability to create the conflict needed to propel my story — came from the fact that my life was entirely filled with conflict, so the creation of any more, even fictional, was just too much for my inner editor.
This is how I protect myself. It’s how I’ve always protected myself. Walls. Non-load-bearing walls, merely aesthetic ones I can install, move, and remove at will. Continue reading
The Weekend Sexipe: Steff's Chorizo & Chevre Frittata
I love making great breakfasts for lovers, but really relish making them for myself. Life’s too short to only use your A-game for others, so this has become something I’ve really come to love making for lil’ ol’ deserving me.
Because I’ve sometimes lived a sheltered life, breakfast-wise, I somehow never had my first frittata until this year. Now I’m in love. I had gone out of my way to try a brekkie at the much-vaunted (but far overpriced) Avenue Grille, and figured $9 for eggs and bacon was a fucking joke, so I might as well go big-ticket and order the special they had. Which was a $12 version of this frittata, but I pack mine with far more ingredients, and love the rich and intense flavours from upping the caramelized onions and chorizo.
Anyone I’ve served my version of the Avenue’s Chorizo & Chevre Frittata to always has seconds.
This’ll keep overnight and warms up very nicely, if you want to make it for your single self, or
shares nicely for two healthy appetites. I’ll usually do it in a larger 13″ saute pan for two people and increase all the veggies by half and the eggs to five, so I can have leftovers for me the next day, ‘cos this thing is a bit of a labour of love to have as a one-off meal. 🙂
Also, I make extra onions and peppers and store them for use either in other meals, or save them for the next weekend and cut the prep time in half. I’ll be including all my little tricks below. Continue reading
Because Pictures Say More
Got my period. Cramps. Grr.
The good news is, last month I was in end-of-the-world agony with my period, as it’s the worst thing to get with a blown back. But this month? It’s just your typical cramps. Which means I’m just your typical cunt right now. Your typical cunt with a vastly improved back, doing laundry and watching news. Yay?
Here’s a great old-school graphic I found that sums everything up nicely. You may put my martini on the table, slave. Spank, spank. Thanks for playing.
Update, and How to Be When People You Care About Need Your Help
Hello, world!
I’m still in a mad spiral as I sort out everything to do with my loan, and then I can slowly segue back to mostly-broke time-on-her-hands Steff that brings you tons to read. It’s been WEEKS since I’ve been able to sit at my writing desk to write for you, but I think the day is nigh. I miss my desk, I write nowhere like I write at my desk!
My new bed seems to be incredible. I think I never bought the right bed to begin with last time, and ten years of sleeping on it just destroyed me. Four NIGHTS into my new bed and the difference in my back is profound.
It’s easy when you’ve been a crash-test dummy like me in four MVAs, thrown from a scooter, thrown off a motorbike, and fallen down a flight of stairs, to dismiss bodily creaks and groans as just collateral damage from a life lived on the wild side of the “klutz” divide, but only four days in it’s obvious I’ve given my inner Little Miss Disaster too much credit. Really, my bed just sucked. Continue reading
Update on Murder
It’s official — my brother’s friend was murdered by a filmmaker trying to recreate a death from the show Dexter. He had paid actors and everything. John, my bro’s now-deceased friend, was indeed lured to the garage in which he would be killed (as there is no corpse, but investigators say the “forensic evidence” gathered in the garage is overwhelming) by the sick film-making fucker who posed as a WOMAN on Craigslist to get our friend out on a “date”.
Had John not emailed his directions to his date to a friend of his, the murderer and the location of the crime may have gone unfound by the police.
We’re all “internet” types — we’ve probably all gone on internet dates. Just because you THINK you should be safe because it’s mostly normal people on the web doesn’t mean that’s the case, and this crime makes it obvious that even men have a lot to be concerned about when it comes to meeting strangers, even if the stranger is supposed to be female.
I’m not trying to say no one should ever meet anyone off the internet, but going to someone’s home on the first date? Fucking moronic. Meet in public places. Follow your Spidey-sense. Do not ignore gut instinct. Do not get into their car unless you’re certain you can trust them. Be very, very scared, and very, very cautious, because this case ain’t just some TV show come to life. This wasn’t some big-city crime where some anonymous characters just up and offed someone. Edmonton is a small city, and this was in the suburbs, on a quiet street that’s well-patrolled by cops.
This shit happens in real life, and we all need a fucking reminder sometimes to be vigilant. Well, this is that.
RIP, Johnny. Here’s the most recent CBC story on the crime. And another story about the links to the show Dexter and other weird shit regarding this crime can be found here. Even the producers of Dexter have come out and admitted total shock that someone would copycat one of their fictional murders. (That “shock” is yet another thing I feel the urge to write about — and slam — but hey. Another day, another posting. This crime won’t be resolved for months.)
On Strange Times: Our Heroine Turns The Page
Y’all needs a status report, so here’s an update on the big, bad world of Steff. 🙂
I’ve had the biggest roller coaster week ever and I’m still reeling. My new mattress set came yesterday and judging by the strange cohesive feeling in my body this morning, my speculation over my bed being at least 60% of my back problem might have been understating things.
I’m still swirling in a very busy world of doing this spending spree I’ve arranged for. Monday will be my visit to the furniture factory to buy a new sofa. A wealthy furniture-store-owning uncle has arranged for me to get wholesale on a handmade leather sofa, so, I’m buying something that’s way, way beyond the means of most of my friends and I, for a couple hundred more than I’d budgetted, but in 3-4 years I’ll still be able to sell it for what I’ve paid, so why the hell not? I’ll show you what I get once I decide. Think retro-hip leather with sleek straight lines, firm and no overstuffing. Rat pack and martinis. Continue reading
Awash in the Afterglow
I’m still in the euphoric afterglow of Obama’s victory. I suspect many of us are. I’m looking forward to the stories we’ll hear from around the world about this. It’s more healing internationally than I suspect Americans can possibly imagine.
In its most flippant terms? I believe this vote means American college kids can stop sewing Canadian flags on their backpacks to travel in Europe. I mean, fuck, during Bush’s reign there have been companies selling “Canadian” kits with our anthem, passport covers, and more, for Americans wanting to “lay low” abroad.
That’s because we’ve all been living under a cloud of What The Fuck? since Bush got elected.
Obama, though, represents everything awesome about America. He’s a throwback to the American leaders who so squarely defined America as the defender of ideals, the protector of its people, and the chief negotiator on the world stage. He’s a reminder of what presidents were — we remember what JFK and FDR did for the country, and this guy, he’s running on bringing that kind of politicking back to the national stage but with a modern twist. FDR never had the internet to inspire or unite his electorate with, after all.
He reminds us of the America that has set the pace for the entire world for a century. He makes it seem like, after a few decades of interruption, America has remembered who it is again. Continue reading
Not Right Now: "No" on Gay Marriage
Amidst the euphoria of Obama’s rise last night, every referendum on gay marriage was voted down.
Gay rights activists are going to be broken-hearted today. I know. You want what you want when you wanted it. You want America to be ready. You think it’s so obvious, so elementary, so how could anyone who understands what love is reject your right to it?
45 years ago, a black preacher delivered a sermon on a mount. He was gunned down the next day, shattering hearts and minds around the world and reinforcing perceptions worldwide that race was a divide America might not be able to cross.
24 years ago, another young black preacher ran for the highest office of the land and barely made it out of the starting gate before two things became apparent: One, he wasn’t the guy for the job, or two, the time wasn’t ripe for black Americans to have that apple to pluck from the tree.
Less than 24 hours ago, a young black lawyer led his party to one of the most decisive political victories of modern times in a vote heard, and cheered, all around the world.
But…
Ten years ago, a young man named Matthew Shepherd was beaten nearly to death and then left to die hung up on a Wyoming fence. Continue reading