When Waiting Can Be Worth It

The trouble with being a fast-food nation is that it’s become the norm to want what you want the way you want it, when you want it.

We’re led to believe that every single day is so important — which is why we need the iPhone, the laptop, the netbook, the fast car, the microwave — that to waste a single moment or wait a single day is tantamount to a national disaster.

And it’s easy to fall into the expectation that because there’s never going to be another today that tomorrow just won’t do, especially when it comes to relationships.

We often don’t have a lot of patience anymore, particularly in love. Me, I’ve never really had it.

I’ve funnily always had to wait at what I perceived to be rather significant moments in life — like a job I want that takes 3 weeks to hear back on, for instance — and I’ll always hear my mother’s voice chastising me, “Well, Steffani, really, your mission in life is to learn patience.”

Well, I’m 35 now. Am I patient? Heh. Maybe not so much. But I’m wiser, so there’s that.

I may overthink things in life, but I tend to know what I want when I see it, and I’m not given to fleeting desires or temporary dalliances. My likes are serious. So, when I decide I want something, even if I have to wait for it, I’m generally prepared to do that, even when waiting’s the last thing I’m very good at doing.

It can be interesting when it comes to dating. With men, I’m pretty used to inspired indifference.  Which is to say they usually bore the hell out of me. Men who make me think or who make me feel pressure to articulate well are not exactly par for the course in my life. Not often do I find a guy who makes me start thinking about the next date in a hurry.

Even more rare is the idea of one who can make me admit rather point-blank that I “quite like” him early in the game, since I tend to run from making myself vulnerable like some might run from from an air raid of napalm or impending nuclear holocaust.

So, I tend to recognize when things are perhaps worth playing smart about. Even if patience isn’t something I’m naturally endowed with.

When it comes to matters of the heart, however, I’m of the mind that timing is really everything.

It might be the world’s best relationship option for you, but pushing too hard to initiate things can make a great opportunity become lost one.

Timing has always been sort of the bane of my existence. I have it or I don’t.

Right now, it’s kind of one of those lousy timing things. Great guy, great opportunity, great potential, but bad timing. Things came up on both sides. Fortunately, it appears they both may be short-lived inconveniences. Who knows. That’s life.

But I can tell when something’s worth waiting for, since “inspired indifference” may be my usual reaction to men but far from the case with this gent. And I’m all right with waiting to see.

I’m more of the mindset that perhaps these things happen with good reason. I’m using my time to get some things cleared off my plate, more for myself than anything. I just want to stop feeling like I’m being pulled in a million directions so I can lose this scattered vibe I feel I emanate. I’m better with focus. I’m getting my taxes sorted, doing odd jobs around the place I’ve been guilt-tripping myself about, redesigning my blog. Good times! But getting in control of my actual life makes it more likely success will be found in other areas of my life, too. Not a bad thing to strive for.

Sometimes, a delay of game can be a great thing. It can help parties proceed with cooler heads, smarter game plans, and better preparation. It’s your choice how to proceed.

Sometimes, we all need time and space. Fighting that is foolish. Accepting it can be tough. But with open communication, it’s all a lot easier to navigate.

Waiting in this instance is a lot less frustrating than it usually seems, mostly because I think I know what it is I’m waiting for. Sometimes, that’s half the battle.

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