Enter Phase II

Tonight I buy new clothes. Again.
My weightloss has restarted. I’m down 3. A total now of 72, from a starting weight of 277. And 5 from being under 200 the first time since I was 16. Melted off more than 30% of my bodyweight.
Way to fucking go, me.
Let’s remember, I’ve been injured since October 3rd. I’m only NOW getting past it. I’ve only returned to cardio with a slow approach over the last three weeks, after nearly seven months off of it! I’ve been really fucking compromised this whole winter.
But I still lost another 20 pounds and went from a size 18 to 14. (I’ve toned a lot this winter, despite the numbers staying pretty constant. All the Pilates-like work I’ve done has created some wild differences in me.)
My point?
If I can do it, anyone can.
Set your goals. Be honest with yourself. Know that when you’re not having success, you’re probably not doing enough, and that’s okay but it’s something you control. Don’t hate yourself for failing, just accept it and ask yourself why you needed to be failing right then, and what you need to do to end that pattern. Be prepared to work. Success requires effort. Knowledge is power, the more you know about the science of weight loss, the easier the emotional aspect of the challenge becomes.
It’s not about achieving this in some awesome period of time, like me wishing I’d lost my 70 pounds in 6 months. If that was my criteria for success, I’d have failed long ago, and I’d be back up around 250 pounds. Instead, it might be 16 months in, but hey, I’m down 70 pounds and was injured for 7 months!
I took time out of the equation. Every week it is about THIS week. Not next week, not last week. THIS week.
Because this week’s all I got in me. It’s a tough thing, losing weight and changing your life, being accountable for all your bullshit. When you think too far in advance, it can make things daunting, and if you’re an emotional eater, well, good luck with that. If you reflect on things, the odds are it’s along the lines of “I could’ve done better” or “I coulda done more” and not “holy fuck, do I rock!” Again, good luck with the emotional eating.
I think about this week. I make social plans for next week, but weightloss is about this week. That’s why exercise is so urgent sometimes — I can’t shift it to next week, because what about THIS week? THIS week is the only week I need to be accountable for. And I usually am.
If I can change this about me, imagine what you can do for you. Isn’t there some goal you haven’t been pursuing? Isn’t it time? Go for it.
Because, winning? Awesome. Just awesome.

3 thoughts on “Enter Phase II

  1. Janie Blooms

    weight loss, for me, isn’t even about this week–it’s about today!
    hooray, steff! you have done a terrific job. and seriously, sometimes you gotta just forget about the timeline, and think to yourself, “I’m getting healthier every day. When I meet my goal is when I meet my goal.” and if one can learn to celebrate all the little things and accomplishments and good choices (I ate a salad tonight for dinner! I walked three miles today!) then things do get easier. i never imagined i could lose 30 lbs, but i have. and i only did it one day at a time.
    congrats, girl. keep it up.
    Janie Blooms’s last blog post..SubSpace: The Final Frontier OR Sex Toy Review of the Lover’s Riding Crop

  2. A Scribe Called Steff Post author

    Thanks, Janie!
    But you know what? “This week” is more forgiving than “this day”, because you’re going to have bad days. Shrugging them off and saying that it’s about the week makes it a lot easier on yourself. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Tony, Thank you. ๐Ÿ™‚ But I disagree with the comment on nothing tasting as good as slim feels — I think food’s a thing of the soul. And I want both.

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