Once again, I find myself exhausted.
This “one day off a week” thing was a novel notion, but a big fail. The reality is, I’m supposed to be working out 1.5 hours A DAY (six days a week) and I tack that on an 8.5 hour day, nothing else gets done. Or at least not when you’re still rehabbing and energy’s a tough find some days.
Worse, I don’t do my workout with the precision it requires for maximum rehab effect when I’m so rushed.
Add to that my nights, when I need a few hours of mental defragging or I toss and turn, and suddenly I’m at a 16-hour day, but with only about 2-3 hours of chill time. Nice.
So, I’m moving toward another drastic change in schedule. We’ll see what happens. I don’t give a fuck about anything else in my life.
I’d like to be social, sure, but my first priority’s the rehab. This back thing is TEMPORARY. But it’s three months that has become seven, and I need to fucking END this. I have *earned* feeling 100%.
I am going to do the perfect rehab program. I have been, but now it requires more, and now my life has to change to accommodate that.
But the harder and better I work my program, with the greatest precision, and the quicker, then the sooner I should move past this.
Then? Fuck, I’ll be an *athlete* after six weeks of this program. Seriously. If I’m not already part way there. Plus, I’m eating healthy, I’ve lost 35% of my bodyweight, and when I’m past this injury, I’ll be indestructible. RAWR. Yeah, punk, just TRY me. :)
Until then, I need to find a new balance with writing, work, working out, and if I have the fucking inclination, having a life.
This four-day thing has been a joke. I’ve been scheduling all my fucking appointments for Wednesdays instead. The plan now, is 7 hours a day, but working early. Wow, that’ll suck for a while. Sigh. I dislike getting up at 5.
But I just wanted to say hi. I’ve started about five postings this week and got blocked in every fucking one. Believe me, I’ve been trying to feed you.
So, I’m tiding you over till I get beyond that this weekend.
Because… of course I will get beyond it.