Today, Andrew Koenig, a respected stand-up comedian and former “background” star in Growing Pains, was found dead, having committed suicide, and not too far from the happy Olympicky goings-on here in Vancouver.
Depression was known to plague Koenig. He got off his anti-depressants sometime last year, and clearly the rest is a story still developing.
I’ve been depressed. Very, very, very badly depressed. And I hate that so many of you probably don’t understand fully what all that means.
Continue reading
Monthly Archives: February 2010
Soon The Olympics Leave
It’s Day 12 of the Winter Olympics here in Vancouver. Four will remain. The insanity is everywhere. Here, look at this shot from last Saturday night. Something like 20 blocks of the city looked like that. Needless to say, such a long, wild ride comes with Olympic highs… and Olympic lows. Here’s a look at the latter.
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My mind feels like an electrical storm.
So much is going on, I’ve so much power yet so little ability to focus it. Writing is a joke when the world is this insane around you for two-plus weeks. Some can do it, I’m sure. I’m just not one of them.
Working from home was my first mistake. My office job landing smack in my living room, that was a mistake. It’s just changed the vibe ever so slightly.
As a serious writer, the right “vibe” is everything. Mood is god, story is king. Chaos is the destructor. Continue reading
FEAR 101: I Did It.
(This is the epilogue to my prologue; written about my zipline fear-conquering I wrote before the fact, here.)
Yesterday, I stood at the top of an 8-story-tall tower, strapped into a harness, hooked onto a steel cable, and ziplined 550 feet across Vancouver’s Robson Square.
Holy shit.
I’ve had to get the news my mother was going to die, I’ve had to amass the guts to get back on a scooter after I nearly died when I flew head-first off of one — after which long-time riding friends claimed they’d never seen a casual rider as hurt as I’d been get back on a bike — and I have NEVER been as scared as I was when I stepped off that platform.
My friends with me didn’t see it, but I was crying when I took that step.
What they did see, though, were my knees shaking violently, my face suddenly 15 years older looking as all the blood drained from it and my jaw dropped in terror.
I almost vomited, I never even breathed as I zipped at 50k an hour and crossed the square, but about 2/3s of the way in, I finally snapped and realized, “I’ve done it!” Continue reading
In Case of My Death, Read
I’m familiar with fear. Oh, am I familiar with fear.
In fact, I’m not actually a person. I’m a giant ‘fraidy-cat. Yup. A pussy, wimp, gutless turd.
I do it well. Continue reading
Further Thoughts Against Olympics "Protesters"
The Games opened yesterday with the start of what I suspect will persist throughout the Games — agitators doing everything they could to dampen the party.
As the ceremonies occurred, protesters tried to push their way there, and the inevitable clash with authorities ensued. Two cops suffered minor injuries, but no protesters were harmed.
Here’s my thinking, okay?
Vancouver’s a leftist city. If you want to live here, you probably shouldn’t be a conservative-minded person. We don’t have a lot for you that way.
Greenpeace was born here. Charities and human rights organizations thrive here, volunteerism and activism are big. Lonely Planet claims our Commercial Drive is even Canada’s counterculture capital.
And I fucking love it. Continue reading
An Open Letter to Anti-2010-Olympics Protestors
Hi. I’m Steffani, and I’m a lifelong Vancouverite.
I voted “YES” in the Olympics plebiscite “back in the day,” when we lowly democratic peons had the chance to vote on the once-every-four-years-party that, you know, would cost a few bucks to put on.
Now, I know, that voting day was such a sunny, beautiful day so many years ago that we didn’t even have a majority of our citizens turn out.
You know what? Not MY problem.
Because I fuckin’ voted. I did my job. Continue reading
Valentine's Day: All My Thoughts
Valentine’s day looms and I’ve deftly avoided the topic by not posting new stuff lately. Brilliant!
But I guess it’s time for my annual rant against the Big Machine and the perpetuation of the belief that, hey, if it’s love, it’s worth going broke for.
I know men buy gifts because they feel obligated. I know women usually like receiving the gifts. I just wish both sides of this equation would get over the bullshit and just accept it’s not really doing a lot of good for either of them.
Relationships die because either people change or they just don’t want to work on the relationship anymore. Not because a diamond ring wasn’t forthcoming soon enough. Continue reading
10 Years On: Rembering My Dead Mother
I haven’t been funny in days.
I’m moody and full of vitamin-Cunt tonight.
I couldn’t figure it out.
What’s eating me? Why am I spiralling into a darker and darker place? Why do I hate the idea of attending any of the 3 parties to which I was invited tonight? Why does the idea of just being civil to others fill me with a questionable revulsion I can’t fathom?
Why? Why? Why? Continue reading