So, hi! I left you hanging with that whole letter-to-HR-folk thing last week, huh? Quel drama!
I was told three weeks ago I probably had three weeks of full-time work. Now it’s looking like I have work until closer to June, perhaps beyond.
Since I started having steady work, I’ve been of the “things are going to get busy” mindset for a while, and it’s been pedal to the metal around the homestead, trying to get my place to what I wanted, losing more clutter, finding more clarity, all of that–in between job-hunting.
It’s been a lot of work. Since I’m getting a lot of things bought I’ve not had funds for, I’m opting out of the social life thing and prioritising my spending — which is giving me more time to focus on what my life needs on all levels.
I’m now doing the little things I never had time to sort — junk drawers, things like that. Everything is getting resolved, everything is being purged through. But all that’s left is my work desk and utility drawers. That’s pretty much it. I’ll probably have to stay on top of the purging thing and spend a day every couple of months, but I really like the downscaled life I’m starting to live.
With less unnecessary stuff around me, I have a clearer vision of what I need to do.
Also, the return of work — daily work that involves getting downtown and organizing my life around — has made exercise easier to do. I’ve slowly been getting more regular about workouts, and today was a return to my old rehab routine I used to do six days a week. Five days is the goal now.
I miss a working routine. I used to work out and write daily, as well as work. I lost weight easier on the job, and gained it while unemployed.
All the things I’ve been doing — tearing my house apart, organizing, planning, getting a routine in place — are things I did in the spring of 2008, before I lost 50 pounds.
And I know it SOUNDS insane to others who go “Well, geez, exactly what all are ya doin’ that it’s taking so long to get it all done?”
In short? Everything. Every damned thing I’m doing, I do to the best of my ability these days, whether it’s sorting a drawer or organizing books, because the better I do it now, the longer I can go without doing it again. I’m hoping this keeps me in order until October.
My goals are more multifaceted than just weight-loss, these days. I have a lot on my plate — a whole lot of things I’m working toward, and most of them I’m keeping to myself for the time being. What it takes is daily focus, total routine. What it takes is a Plan, Stan. I’m getting there.
I think the act of having done all this purging of late is indicative of the mindset I’ve got. It takes a long time, sometimes, to realize that knowing what you want is sometimes more about knowing what it is that you don’t want.
I know now what I don’t want. Piece by piece, item by item, line by line, I know exactly what I don’t want. I know who I don’t want. Where I don’t want to go.
So, that narrows it down. I know what I don’t want. Better yet, I’m getting it the fuck away from me.
Slowly, what I do want is coming into focus. And I know what I need to get done, obligation-wise, and what my limits are outside of that.
And that’s where it starts.
Where it goes, well, that’s the fun part. With continued focus and continuing to set new accomplishments (and getting ’em done) on a weekly basis, I suspect good things will come.
With that, it’s on with my week. And folding what’s in the dryer. Have a good one, minions.