Tag Archives: poly

To Dabble or Not to Dabble

I’m all torn these days. The more I consider relationships, the more I realize I don’t really know what I want, nor what I can handle. I’ve accepted a date for sometime next week with a poly guy. I’m curious as to whether I can process such a relationship.

I’m not concerned about my ability to take more than one lover, if I’m open about it and don’t have to juggle or lie or anything. I can’t do the duplicity thing.

My concern is whether I’m too jealous or possessive, whether my insecurities will get the better of me, whether my competitive nature makes me unlikely to play well with others in the picture. I really don’t know. Am I built for the variety and openness of a poly relationship?

I got told I gotta get off the fence and figure it the fuck out. Hence the date.

I know I don’t have a “regular” relationship in me. I’d love a friends-with-benefits situation, but I know, inside, I’m kinda wanting to taste my way through a few male specimens. I want variety. I want to consume men instead of food. But I don’t want to go sleeping around. I figure 2-3 lovers could be fantastic.

But then can I deal with the flip of men having the same variety on the side?

Well, there’s really only one way to find out.

A Moral Reckoning? Rethinking Open Relationships

I’m thinking about crossing that line in my moral sand.

I’ve always been the one-guy-one-gal type, but I’m starting to wonder if maybe it’s just the old Catholic/societal brainwashing, and whether, maybe, I’m really built a little differently than what “tradition” often serves up.

I think I ultimately prefer monogamy. But I think the notion of having that kind of commitment, and dare I say obligation, in my life right now scares the living shit out of me.

Seriously, I just don’t want to have the grief that comes with serious devout commitment right now. The need to worry how they’re doing, the obligatory Fridays & Saturdays spent together, and all of that. I just don’t have it in me to give that much of myself to anyone right now. It’s hard enough to give it to myself.

I’ve considered the “friends with benefits” option, but I have to say, the responses I’ve gotten are essentially from, well, sexual babies and morons. You know, the eager-beaver types who claim they want oodles of sex and all that.

But, really, all they want is just to get laid. Most of these chumps wouldn’t know how to handle a woman with real libido if the Energizer Bunny came and gave ’em an all-night seminar and a schwack of caffeine to get the job done. Continue reading