The Age Fairy brought me another birthday. Don’t worry, I won’t spend it all in one place.
I got up this morning and I was at least 2.76% wiser. That’s pretty cool. Take what you can get in a recession, eh?
All I got for my birthday, really, is this curious sense of “What now?” that comes with the next morning when you’re staring at the new year ahead of you.
Last year, I didn’t have that. Last year, I was a little preoccupied, so this year’s feeling phenomenal in comparison.
As much as this is probably one of the most embarrassing stories I’ll ever write, it’s also a great example of why reflecting works so great sometimes to put some perspective on who you are and where you are in life. See, last year, I was not in my Happy Birthday Place. I wasn’t even in my Remotely Satisfied Birthday Place. Continue reading →
I couldn’t possibly feel more unattractive than I do today. Except maybe if I had an 8-inch goiter growing out of my neck and crumbling teeth or something.
I have an eye infection that has my left eye with this just-throttled-by-Rocky swollen-bloodshot look going on. That’s fun. Really.
Because that wasn’t fun enough, I’ve also come down with a vaginal yeast infection. (I’m so not even thinking about men right now, or sex, or arousal, or orgasms.)
Throw in the fact that I’ve just found out these ARE cockroaches in my apartment — German ones.
(My Twitters upon learning this were: “But it’s official. They were cockroaches. German Cockroaches. SS cockroaches. Brownshirts. Bad! They should have been gassed. Karma!” Followed by, “Snell! Snell! Achtung, roach! Achtung! At least now I know their language. “Ich liebe gas!”)
Once upon a world, a reader asked me to write a little something about yeast infections. Uh… know what? I don’t wanna. What a topic.
But here’s the deal. It’s important to know about them, so I’ll say a couple things.
First off, they’re a sexually transmitted disease, people. Yes. They’re not just an inconvenience, but are a sexually transmitted disease. If you have one, you shouldn’t be having sex. It’s pretty much that simple. But if you’re a horny mofo dying to get laid, then be intelligent enough to wear protection.
If you have frequently recurring yeast infections, it can be a sign of more serious things going on inside you — like diabetes — and getting assessed by a medical professional is a smart way to go, and I encourage visits to naturopathic professionals as well.
Any number of things can cause yeast infections — from having a sexual “binge,” ie: having sex many times in a short period after a period of abstinence, since it can cause bad fluctuations in pH levels, through to a bad diet with too much alcohol, or just being stupid enough to work out or swim and keep your sopping clothes on for an extended period. And sometimes skankiness just happens to good people, and that’s the way it goes.