The Fine Art of Massage

For me, one of the most passionate things I can do for a man is a massage, and if he does it right, likewise.
I take massages very, very seriously. A great massage takes you to a different place. Paying for a massage is one thing, but receiving one from a lover fills me with raw desire while setting me on a wave of bliss.


I’ve been known to deliberately give male friends shitty massages. In fact, I generally try to avoid touching them at all. Keeps shit simple. I’d be in a world of trouble if they knew the truth about me. Seems a little late for that now, though.
I love giving hour-long full-body massages. I love to trade them like favours. It’s a delightfully erotic evening in.
For a woman, I have strong hands. They’re broader across the palm, and my fingers are pretty solid. I can apply a lot of pressure, and the nice thing is, my hands and fingers are perfectly shaped for massage. They’re not sharp and bony, and digging into tissue isn’t invasive.
But you can always adjust your technique if you don’t have the “right” hands. The trick is, when you’re massaging with fingers, to make sure the portion coming in contact is that part under the crease, over your top joint nearest your finger tip. This allows you to use the rounded-yet-flat surface to keep your lover most relaxed.

I need to ask you all a question. Is it just me, or is there a point where fingernails get too long? I don’t let mine grow past my fingertip. Long enough to trace over skin, but short enough not to gouge. Lord knows a man better manicure before he starts giving me an external, nevermind internal. Those little jutting bits on nails can cause an awful lot of pain.

While I'm here, shall I rim you?

I digress. The heel of the palm is the best part of your hand when it comes to massage. Lord, is it ever. And the outer ridge of your thumb, as it extends down towards your wrist. This works the best when you’re squeezing ligaments and muscles on the shoulder tops and neck area, as well as the arms, legs, and the always-yummy ass.
It’s a shame my skills are going to waste, really. I have so much to contribute to mankind. What a sin.
Anyhow, for you, my friends, in anticipation of next weekend’s hijinks, some recipes for massage oils as included in InterCourses: An Aphrodisiacs Cookbook, one of my most prized cookbooks. From Terrace Books, published in 1997. (You think my photography array on here’s yummy? Check out that book. Makes you want seconds.)
But if you haven’t the time to cook up a love potion, I highly recommend “Love Butter” by Auracacia. (The link takes you to a site selling it cheaper than I’ve seen it before.)
It’s solid cocoa butter scented with the essence of ylang-ylang oil, whose properties are that of an aphrodisiac. It’s worked like a charm for me. Definitely a recipient of the Steff Seal of Success. When you put it on skin, it melts, literally like butter in your hand. Not unlike the massage recipient when he/she experiences it. Just enough slippage, just enough friction, the perfect combination for a sensual massage.
The recipes.


“yummy yummy juicy warm”
to 1 ounce jojoba oil, add:
21 drops sandlewood oil
6 drops of ylang-ylang
5 drops steam-distilled lime

“the heady oil of good feelings”
to 1 ounce jojoba oil, add:
13 drops Frankensence
6 drops patchouli
5 drops steam-distilled lime
“relieve anxiety, restore balance”
to 1 ounce jojoba oil, add:
6 drops geranium
6 drops clary sage
6 drops ylang-ylang
“sultry-sweet aphrodisiac potion”
to 1 ounce jojoba oil, add:
3 drops jasmine
34 drops sandlewood
(as written in the book:)
mixing your own massage is a simple process to follow: simply mix 6 to 8 parts of essential oil for every 1/8th cup (25 ml or 1 fl. oz) of base oil. essential oils are available at health food and natural food stores. vegetable oils work nicely as the base — try almond, avocado, olive, sunflower, hazelnut, or jojoba. mix with your signature concoction of essential oils. store in an airtight container in a cool, dark place.*
*steff’s tip? store it in the fridge. buy yourself one of those little electric plug-in cup warmers for hot beverages at work, and put it bedside. when you’re wanting to heat things up with your lover of choice, fill a small bowl with the oil before the massage, and place it on the warmer. hot oil, hot massage, hot night.

the above recipes from InterCourses by way of the Aromatherapy Catalogue.

22 thoughts on “The Fine Art of Massage

  1. scribe called steff

    Saga of J Update:

    It’s coming. I’m actually still fulminating about it. I’ve decided I’m going to finish it and send it in for publication. So now that I’m taking it more seriously, so too is the deliberating on how to tell the remainder of the sensory-deprived experience… a hard tale to tell blindfolded. So. Bear with me. 🙂

  2. Steve

    I’m with you on the massage thing – especially hot as a precursor to a long night in!

    I’m going to save those recipes actually, I’ve always bought ready-made massage oil, the thought of mixing up my own never entered my head!

    Fingernail wise – trimmed short is good for me. I don’t like long nails on anyone, partner or otherwise – weird, huh.

  3. scribe called steff

    FA in NY — Actually, I posted one Friday and then quickly took it down. Someone with smarts about Flickr would be able to find a photo there.

    Thanks. 🙂

    STEVE — Yeah, I don’t usually bother mixing my own, but I actually use those kinds of oils for scenting myself as opposed to perfumes. I like the natural scents. They’re awesome.

    Yes, short fingernails are better. I don’t understand how men let chicks with long nails give them handjobs, really. Sounds DANGEROUS.

  4. Danny

    Some guys (myself included) enjoy long fingernails, especially when they are being scratched up and down my back and while passion rises its’ amazing the feeling one recieves to have them dig deep enough to draw blood.

    (maybe i just like pain)

    Still, I’ve come to like long nails…

  5. Danny

    Sidenote: Never has a partner found it a problem or have I felt in any danger getting handjobs from girls with long nails.

  6. scribe called steff

    I have long enough nails to dig in, but it takes a little more effort to draw blood. Still possible. Ha.

    I actually used to bite my nails a lot, so just having them at all makes me happy, happy. I hate having long, long nails for some strange reason.

    Interesting in regards to the handjobs. Good to know. (Making mental note.)

    Thanks for coming by, Danny.

  7. chunu

    Long fingernails, depends on how the girl uses them – if she is soft and gentle, but still has long fingernails, fine fine fine all the way. If she doesn’t use them for good but evil instead, then obviously it’s not good. Shorter fingernails are good though.

    Just a side note on the whole massage thing, there is nothing much worse in a loving relationship where you connect on five different levels other than just love and sex where your partner has NO idea of how to give a good massage. Is too heavy with her hands, causes pain instead of relaxation etc. Especially when everything else is so good – is it the sort of thing one can easily bring up, or to keep quiet, hope she learns by herself LOL.

  8. Grover

    I dunno about the fingernails. Never done anything for me. I tend to prefer women “au naturel”… little or no cosmetics, polish, etc.

    I’m with leeloreya, this has fast become my favorite blog.

  9. scribe called steff

    Chunu: “If she doesn’t use them for good but evil instead…” Heh. If the Dark Side is her manicurist… Heh.

    Yeah, but you’re as responsible for your partner’s failings as she is, don’t you think, then? You have to be willing to guide’em through the process. That said, I’ve had shitty masseuse lovers. I just can’t get how people can RECEIVE an amazing massage and not duplicate the experience.

    Deep tissue massages are awesome, but you need to ensure the pressure’s fine on the recipient, which I always do when it’s a sensual massage. I came very close to going professional with massage a few years back, though, so I do indeed take it seriously. Very.

    Leeloreya — Oh, who needs an award with comments like that?! Thank you. 🙂

    Grover — Awesome! Glad I’m delivering, then. Thank you.

    I use makeup. Wouldn’t catch me without it. I try not to put much on, but I might as well be walking out nude if I don’t have any one, imho.

  10. Walking Wounded

    A few years back I started getting into reflexology. Half a dozen books later, I can say that I can pretty much make a girl melt just by touching her feet. Massage is a cool craft not only for relaxing a partner but for yourself too. When I am massaging a foot or any other part it relaxes me as well.

    Thanks for the recipes! I whip up oils with jasmine, eukalyptus and cucumber which are pretty cool!


  11. scribe called steff

    CHUNU — Ha. I keep my exhibitionism to the confines of my home. What my neighbours have seen, though, begs to question.

    WALKING — Awesome. Reflexology is great. A perfect example of what I say about all things related to sex: Read, read, read, learn, learn, learn, and practice, practice, practice.

    The keys to bliss. Surprising what education can do for ya, huh? 🙂

  12. scribe called steff

    By the way, kids, tomorrow, part one of a two-parter on giving PERFECT HEAD will begin.

    I may decide to post it all at once, but if I do, it’s all you get until the weekend. I’m a busy girl this week.

  13. Simply Her

    What an ironic post.
    I was giving the lover a massage the other day for his aches.
    I definately will check out that love butter, do you have to get it online or is it available in stores as well?

  14. Serra

    I make handmade bath and body as part of my business, and that’s a ridiculously high price for a cocoa butter with essential oils and vitamin E.

  15. scribe called steff

    Simply — It’s available in stores, too, but is sorta hard to find. It’s mostly available in health food/alternative food stores.

    Serra — (shrug) I’ve paid $14 canadian for it, since that’s the cheapest I’ve ever seen it for. I wouldn’t know where to buy cocoa butter wholesale, so…

  16. Grover

    I maintain that I won’t ask anything of women what I don’t or won’t do myself…

    (and I do mean anything)

  17. Grover

    Well… you won’t catch me dead, nude in public. I’m a little, umm, rotund. Not exactly a bronzed god over here.

    I just meant that I won’t ask any hypothetical female partners to do what I myself wouldn’t do.

    Remember the “Funky Spunk” episode of Sex and the City where Samantha wants the guy to taste his own cum so he can see what it’s like?

  18. scribe called steff

    Ah, right. No, I never saw that episode, but I see where you’re goin’.


    Now I need to see that episode.

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