wishing otherwise

wistful jazz wails in the background. the drive bustles with beatniks and bohemians, baddies and babes. stale cigarette smoke wafts towards me. i see the source. you.
i only glance at you for the briefest second, but you catch my eye. that smoldering look you got’s really something else, i think, returning to my book. while i reread the same passage, i sense you watching me. this time, looking up, i slowly take you in.
you’ve got crumpled olive green cargo pants on, but they’re just tight enough around your round bubble ass. you’re wearing two tanktops, layered, one white and one black, and a leather jacket’s slung over your forearm, obscuring some of your tattoos. surprised at myself, i openly admire your breasts as i continue up you and meet your glance.
“glance” is too light a word for that look of yours. your eyes are locked on me like a fighter plane acquiring a target. so brazen, so bold. so intimidating.
i find myself wishing i had that in me, but today i don’t. i smile weakly, then break the gaze, dropping down to my book, back to my safety zone.
out of the corner of my eye, i see you shoot me a final glance as you join up with your approaching friend. sad to see you leave, i at least watch you go.
now, days later, i revel in my regret for the courage that came too late, and for the chance squandered so quickly.

9 thoughts on “wishing otherwise


    For some reason I can’t e-mail you due to this stupid ‘puter. I am going to be bold, I would like to get to know you. I tried internet dating and was left wanting as well. I am for real and I won’t dissapoint you. It will be a couple of weeks before I could come up there to see you, but I am REALLY interested. There now I’ve said it. I will deal with whatever response you leave, but, hopefully I will with glee.

  2. scribe called steff

    I had left a comment but the cosmos devoured that, too.

    I’m only looking for local guys, to be honest, but you might as well drop me a line. I’m curious what you have to say.

    [email protected]

    Or else leave your email address and I’ll drop you a line.

    Either way, it’s not a matter I’d really discuss publically, regardless of whether it has promise or not.

    I’d be somewhat wary of meeting someone through my writing, but I can’t say it’s not intriguing.

  3. jazz

    of course you post about an attraction to a woman and your first comment is a guy asking you out…

    damn girl. your hit counter goes up by a couple thousand every time i see it. what’s a girl gotta do to get linked on this traffic jammed blog?

  4. scribe called steff

    Irony really is my favourite literary tool.

    Hilarious, isn’t it?

    And all a girl’s got to do is ask. Just put it up for ya, under the platonic section. You know I love you, I just don’t want to go down on you. Hardy-har-har.

    And yeah, the traffic’s good because I post on NYHotties, and she gets some 5,000+ hits a day.

    Location, location, location! 🙂

  5. jazz

    linkage! amazing!

    you know i think this entry had some lasting effects on me because i definitely had a dream i was hooking up with a girl last night! i’ve had them before, but not that often. once i was going down on madonna, but down where her muff was, it was a mixed green salad instead. it was STRANGE.

  6. scribe called steff

    Maybe the salad, instead of any real meat to be found, is more a statement about how shallow and insubstantial Madonna is?

    I’d apologize for causing you to dream in muffcolor, but I suspect you might have enjoyed it.

    Ahem. 🙂

  7. Walking Wounded


    I too have dreams about going down on women, so I can relate totally. LOL That is one crazy dream with the tossed salad. The last place anybody would want that oil and vinegar taste, eh? 🙂


    If all I have to do is ask, link me please? Pretty please?? 😉


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