For the e-Dating Types: Six Tips

Note from Steff in 2010: It’s almost five years later, and every one of these still holds true. Please, for the love of God, people: Think about the kind of person you’ll attract through your profile, then plan accordingly. Here’s a few things not to do.

  • Look, everyone on the e-dating systems is taking a chance by putting their faces/profiles out there. Stop being a bonehead and saying, “I can’t believe I’m doing this…” or “I don’t have a lot of faith in this…” If not, then don’t!
  • We all find it a little weird, all right? In a perfect world, we’d walk into a bookstore, grin at a cutey, and have a date in five. Instead, we’re coming home after work, having a drink, and logging onto a dating service. Right. Yeah, that’s a little odd. Stop mentioning it. It’s kind of like going to a dinner party where the food’s shit: Everyone knows it, but you just nod and smile anyways.
  • If you’re a guy or gal looking for a class act to hook up with, it’s probably not the brightest idea to get a photo where you’re holding a beer bottle. Let’s think about it, all right?
  • Please, for the love of god, don’t make your profile read “If you want to know, ask.” The whole point of e-dating is the not-having-to-ask thing. Haven’t you noticed? But if you insist on staying single, have at ‘er.
  • Yes, yes, yes, we can see you’re a romantic because your profile photo is a sunset, but really, can we get a little skin? Come on.
  • And to the men out there, putting in your profile that she must be a little domesticated and know how to cook is so not gonna get you action. I just saw a guy’s profile where he demanded exactly that. And know what? He used that filthy word, too… “Laundry.”

It’s incredible the amount of oblivious folks out in the world. Sure keeps it entertaining for the rest of us, though, doesn’t it?

12 thoughts on “For the e-Dating Types: Six Tips

  1. Numb

    have to say I met one of my very closest friends online. πŸ™‚ Look forward to reading more of you πŸ™‚

  2. mango

    I don’t have a problem with talking about how odd it is… on the first meeting it’s an icebreaker, and it’s at least one thing you know you have in common. I’m sure if you met someone at a bar and then met them for a date you’d mention the bar as a means to get chatting… right? First dates are hard enough without thinking ‘oooh should I or should I not be talking about this?’ In the grand scheme of things, who cares?

  3. juicya

    ive met TONS of guys online…and had some pretty good relationships. My problem was that i met lotsa guys in bars/at parties/where booze flowed but wasnt exactly looking to “date” them.
    Online dating gives you a bit of background on the guys before you meet them, lets you know what they are looking for [dating vs relationship vs one night stand],and if they dont look like their profile pic when you meet, just cut the date short, block them on msn, and continue looking.

  4. Rachel - Wicked Ink


    found this through your post at POF, and have now added you to my blog roll!

    Well done!

  5. tinyhands

    The ‘what not to do’ tips are widely available, but how about tips for real guys to distinguish themselves. Like a password? I’m hesitant to get serious about e-Dating because it automatically lumps me in with the shirtless guidos.

  6. Labbie

    I’ve gone on five dates with women I met throught he internet, one way or another. Only one has been a good to great date. You know what? It’s about the same rate in the real world. Weird, huh?

  7. scribe called steff

    Labbie — Yeah, its success rate is low, but it’s there.

    Tiny — Good question. I’ll try to tackle that sometime in the not-so-distant future.

    Rachel — Thanks. πŸ™‚

    Juicya — Yeah, I like the screening process. It’s too bad that most of the men I’ve been chatting to are flakes sans the balls to follow up a meeting time with arriving in the flesh, but hey. Eventually there’ll be a connection.

    Mango — I know, but your first impression is just being redundant and saying how weird it is? Could be more creative. It’s pretty boring. It’s like saying you like to have fun. Well, who doesn’t, right?

    Switch — Thanks. πŸ™‚

    Jazz — If I was still meeting people in the real world, I wouldn’t. But I’m not, so I do. It works for me.

    1 Degree — No, the dude’s just not smart at how he says things. And EVERYONE likes the spin cycle! πŸ™‚

  8. sirbarrett

    Thanks for pointing out what should be obvious. (I’m not being sarcastic here, I’m just happy for the reminders) πŸ™‚

  9. virgin

    I kept reading profile after profile that read:

    My family is the most important thing in my life. We have a really close relationship. I’m looking for a woman who’s equally comfortable dressed to the nines for a night on the town or wearing jeans and a t-shirt for a night of cuddling in front of the TV.

    One day I tried looking at the women’s profiles to see what the competition was all about. What I saw was page after page of:
    I’m equally comfortable dressed to the nines for a night on the town or wearing jeans and a t-shirt for a night of cuddling in front of the TV. I’m looking for a man who puts a high value on family and has a really close relationship with them.


  10. A reader

    Steff… first, hope your brother continues to improve. Sounds like he got a really hard “hit” from that SUV.

    On E dating, meeting, etc. I was married for over 20 years, divorced about 10 years ago and I travel alot for work. It’s hard to meet people when you have a demanding job especially involving travel. I put a profile on one of the subscriber services and screened profiles. I went out with several women, e mail conversations can tell you alot about someone, meeting them in person helps fill out the impressions. I remarried three years ago, she responded to my profile. We dated for three years, I wasn’t ready to jump back into a marriage and she had a daughter that was finishing high school.

    She’s a very independent lady, I love her and we’ve had a happy three years together.

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