Male Masturbation

On second thought, if I can’t post for a couple days, let’s get the ball rolling on the topic of male masturbation. Obviously, being female, I can’t really input a lot on this topic, so I need reader help. I’ll have a fabulous guest writer for this main posting, so let’s see if we can give him a little direction in regards to what he ought to share. I also plan to do a posting in which I’ll take snippets of my male readers’ comments and paste them in one nice compendium of male input.
So, some questions for you.
For the Females: What is it you want to know about male masturbation? Does any of it weird you out? Why? What’s your reaction to it? Do you find it hot, or not? Why or why not? Have you had any negative experiences with it? What’s your reaction to finding a lover doing it when he thought you were asleep / not around? What’d you do about it? Do you regret your actions, or are you satisfied with your actions?
For the Males: What’s your process for masturbating? What or who do you think about? If you think about your lover or an ex-lover, are you thinking about specific things she’d do to you, or things you wish she’d do? Are you ashamed if you’re caught by a lover? Do you masturbate when a lover’s asleep next to you? Are you wishing she’d wake up and help, or would that feel like an invasion of your privacy? If you’re involved in a relationship right now, do you find it bothers her, or does she support it? At what age did you start? How long did it take to get the hang of it? How often do you do it? How long does it take to come? What do you wish more women would know about it? Where’s your favourite place to do it?

26 thoughts on “Male Masturbation

  1. Anonymous

    First off: do love this blog of yours – always thought provoking…
    Very interested to see what comes of this ‘male masturbation’ topic; for the first time ever I’ve met a man who doesn’t like to masturbate, and I’m dead curious to hear opinion on that. I’m sure he’s not the first and won’t be the last, but I’m very sorry I may never have the pleasure of watching him do the deed…or giving him a hand…..

  2. Curvaceous Dee

    What is it you want to know about male masturbation? I’d like to know the kind of things that make it feel good – is it better with lube or spit, or just with the hand? Does the pressure of the hand make much of a difference? For those with foreskins, does tugging that down over the head feel pleasurable in and of itself?

    Does any of it weird you out? Why? I love watching men masturbate – I find it quite delightful seeing how they take care of themselves, and noticing their overall reaction. It’s harder to pay attention when my mouth’s at play!

    What’s your reaction to it? Do you find it hot, or not? Why or why not? It turns me on, watching one of my partners masturbate. I find it less impacting watching it in porn, but still interesting.

    Have you had any negative experiences with it? What’s your reaction to finding a lover doing it when he thought you were asleep / not around? Only the one. With a previous partner, I woke up one night to find him standing at the side of the bed and masturbating over me. That disturbed me at the time, and disturbs me now. Interestingly, I have no problem with my current partner jacking off while I’m asleep, and he has no problem with me doing the same. So I think that was a personality issue rather than an action issue.

    What’d you do about it? Do you regret your actions, or are you satisfied with your actions?
    I didn’t do anything about it, at the time. But as it was an emotional abusive relationship, I fled a little while later anyhow.

    Closing opinion: watching men masturbase is a) hot, and b) gives me pointers to add to my own skill-set. I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to move my hand as fast, though!

    1. Ed

      Masturbating gives me more pleasure than you can imagine. to answer your questions:
      No lube, no spit, hand pressure
      nothing about it wierds me out
      It is very hot. I feel an urging in my groin, I know when I get up in the morning that I’m going to masturbate. sometimes in the shower when getting prepared for work, sometimes in my office on a chat room, sometimes watching pron. My cock gets hard, I love touching it.
      I have masturbated in front of wife, she is sometimes turned on, mostly not. I’d love to know she masturbated, Id love to see her.

  3. scribe called steff

    Have no fear, girls, I’m getting an awful lot of emails from the boys on this subject. This’ll be a nice compendium with a lot of useful takes by some really articulate men.

    To the men responding, I much appreciate your honesty, thoroughness, and unabashed forthrightness.

    Thumbs up, all around. Gracias!

  4. scribe called steff

    Anon — Yeah, that’s very uncommon. It’s thought that only about 5-8% of men don’t masturbate. Hmm. Mind if I ask how he is in bed? Think it’s impacting that, or are you surprised how little difference it makes?

    I suspect that the number of men trying to abstain from masturbation might be on the rise, though, since sex addiction is becoming more widespread than ever, and trying to reduce the amount of masturbation or eliminate it altogether is a common practice in sex addiction recovery — impulse control.

    Who knows.

    Dee — Wow. Thanks for the thorough answer.

    I was interested in the experience of the guy standing over you like that. I totally relate with how intimidating and creepy that can be.

    Guys, be aware that establishing height in certain situations can seem like an expression of dominance or a desire to control us. The above situation, standing over a woman and masturbating can at times be really erotic, but in an instance like above, it can be seen as downright freaky.

    I had an encounter where I was lying in bed, and at the beginning of the relationship, he knelt, naked, on the side of the bed, his groin over my face, and his cock right in my face. I felt really intimidated, and ultimately quite put off. If I’d known him longer and had established trust and all I might have been fine about that, but at the beginning of a relationship it can feel like a control move.

    Just a thought. Good time to mention it.

    Anyhow, excellent feedback in general. Thank you!

  5. Laura

    I think that watching a man masturbate is one of the most erotic things ever. I found a picture in a commercial or something once, of a really handsome, strong, muscular man with his hand in his boxers. That really hit me hard, I think I fantasized about that picture for a month afterwards. It was something about him being strong and very male, but still intimate and sort of vulnerable.

    I love to watch a lover masturbate, it gives me a clue as to what he likes and I also love to watch his face, that really turns me on. My previous lover had an amazing look on his face while masturbating, and I just couldn’t stop watch him. I am not a voyeur in any way, but when he took care of himself, I became, and I loved it.

    I don’t think I’ve had any negative experiences, except that I hate if a man does that while I wnt to sleep. I feel like he is blaming me and wants attention, but I just want to sleep, so I always have the rule that if we’re not already playing, and he wants to tend to himself, he can do it at the toilet.

    I think men masturbating is very facinating, and the thing that makes it interesting is that I can see him go to a different place, without me. It both turns me on and is interesting because I am cockless and think all penis-things are pretty fascinating.

  6. Anonymous

    I’ll try to answer dee’s questions first…

    I personally like it better without lube or spit – just the hand. The pressure certainly makes a difference – sometimes the harder the better, but if I’ve gotten off sometime that day, it tends to be a bit sore so she (or I) should back off on the pressure a bit. The foreskin tugging feels great. I love that you love watching men masturbate – for a long time I was self-conscious about doing it for my girlfriend until I realized how turned on she was by the whole thing. One thing she seemed to love was if she was sleeping and she awoke to me doing it – it was pretty much guaranteed to wake her up and watch (or take over). Wow. I miss that. It turned me on a lot to know that she enjoyed watching. She would even help – touching me in various places, etc. One night while I was masturbating for her she got some lube and did the whole prostate massage thing. Holy sh1t – that really was amazing. She was amazed at the resulting orgasm – after being together for 7 years she said she had never seen me have an orgasm like that. It was a bit weird when she put her finger up there at first, but once she found the right spot (and I got past the unease of having a finger up my ass) it felt awesome.

    As for thinking about things during masturbation, I tend to think about being with my girlfriend most of the time. I think about her giving me head or bending her over the bed right as she gets home from work (which did happen occasionally). She got very turned on when I licked her ass, so I was really into that – I would definitely fantasize about that while she was bent over the bed.

    To answer some more of steff’s questions… I think when we were together she was mostly okay with me masturbating while she was asleep (like I said above). I remember a couple times when she was not happy about it, but that was before she really started to like it. I started masturbating at probably 12 years old. It probably took a few months (yes, months) to get the hang of it. I remember the first orgasm I had – I was wondering where all the come went because I had my eyes shut when it happened – turned out the majority of it was on the wall behind my bed! Frequency varies – but now that I’m single I have a lot more time to masturbate. I tend to do it once every couple days. Since I am living alone I can take as long as I want, so I tend to try to give myself a good length of time (20+ min). I don’t really know what else I would like women to know about it, except that which I’ve said above.

    I don’t really have a ‘handle’ I want to use yet, so I’ll just sign this anon.

  7. Horny Old Guy

    Ah masturbation! One of my favorite subjects and favorite activities for over 50 years (really!) I started about age 12 and am 65 now (ouch!) so I have a bit of experience to go on. I’ve had lots of relationships, been married a couple times but have never been completely able to stop masturbating…and that’s alright! As Woody Allen said to Diane Keaton in “Annie Hall”, “Don’t knock masturbation! It’s sex with someone I love!”

    In my teens I did it a couple of times a day. That was reduced down to usually once a day in my 20’s and 30’s if I was without female companionship, once or twice a week if I had companionship. It further very slowly decreased over the years until now (age 65) when I do it two or three times a week. I’ve never kept it a secret from my female companions and if they were not in the mood for sex for any reason (which was okay), I felt free to take things in hand. Most have understood it but a few have not been amused. If it bothered them, I strictly kept it a private affair but never stopped doing it. It’s just a different feeling from fucking and blow jobs…and I enjoy it! It’s as simple as that!

    I do it the “old fashioned” way with the right hand, sometimes using lube and sometimes not. I’ve tried a few battery powered masturbation aids and vibes but always came back to the good old right hand, which seems to work best for me. The internet has pretty much replaced adult magazines and porn video for visual inspiration although I do sometimes fantasize about past lovers, co-workers, celebrities, the sexy anchor on the 6 o’clock news, or the girl behind the counter at McDonald’s. Fantasy is a great thing, and it’s completely legal!

    I started about age 11 or 12 (pre-puberty). I got poison oak on my little weenie and was rubbing it to relieve the itch. One of the greatest discoveries of my life (or any boy’s life!). It only took one time to get the hang of it and I’ve been doing it ever since. I control the time it takes to cum depending on my inspiration and how much time I have or want to take. It can be anywhere from 2 or 3 minutes of fast jerking if I’m in a hurry to an hour and a half if I’m watching a porno flick. Favorite places are in front of the computer, in my recliner watching TV and in my bed although I’ve done it indoors and outdoors around the world, almost every place you could imagine, from sleazy rest rooms to airplane lavatories (it was the only way I could ever join the “Mile High Club”!…and it doesn’t feel any different at 10,000 feet if you are curious!).

    Those are my random and incoherent thoughts about masturbation, as I said one of my favorite subjects and activities. Now excuse me while I go….you guessed it!

  8. Anonymous

    Hmm, masturbation…What a lovely topic…When I get the chance, I like to masturbate outside, alone (with no one watching) When I was a teen, I started doing it while I was playing golf. Just being outside, at a park, in a field,in nature or something. Just always been arousing to me….A few years ago, I was a little more limber, and was also able to give myself a pretty good blow job. Now thats intense

    A man from Dallas

  9. scribe called steff

    Oh, dear, now that’s incentive for taking yoga, huh?

    Enquiring minds want to know: did you swallow, or spit?

  10. ZGD63

    Some answers for you my dear CL:

    What’s your process for masturbating?
    If you mean what occurs that makes me want to? Any visual or imagined stimuli. It can be a tight shirt, a low cut blouse, a nice pair of legs, even nice feet in high heels. It’s the fantasy about what else comes with the whole “package”. If you mean how do I go about it? Generally hard and fast with or without lube.

    What or who do you think about? If you think about your lover or an ex-lover, are you thinking about specific things she’d do to you, or things you wish she’d do?
    I’ve thought about my wife to relive recent encounters as well as ones I “think” I’d like to experience with her. Also, coworkers, the cute store clerk, even out company’s female president making me her bend-over boy!

    Are you ashamed if you’re caught by a lover?
    I’ve never been caught but I think how my wife would react would determine if I would be embarrased. I wouldn’t be ashamed and actually might get angry that she made any issue out of it.

    Do you masturbate when a lover’s asleep next to you?
    No…that would be rude, insensitive, and to me, embarrassing.

    Are you wishing she’d wake up and help, or would that feel like an invasion of your privacy?

    If you’re involved in a relationship right now, do you find it bothers her, or does she support it?
    She doesn’t know as I’ve given her confidence by telling her she’s all I need. I suspect she might think I was a sex fiend if she knew I did choke Flipper from time to time.

    At what age did you start? How long did it take to get the hang of it?
    14…freshman in HS and I was blown away with surprise the first time…shot cum all over the bathroom while thinking of a cute cheerleader. Finally, a release for some of that pent up frustration looking at all those hot girls!

    How often do you do it? How long does it take to come?
    I do some self-loving 1-3 times a week. Sometimes its fast and hard after waking up and it only takes 2-3 minutes. Other times, if the house is empty, I get the rare “treat” of putting on some porn and taking my time to enjoy the “bad girls.”

    What do you wish more women would know about it? Where’s your favourite place to do it?

  11. ZGD63

    Oops…reply got cut off above.

    Favorite place is either bathroom sink or shower for a quick, no evidence clean up. What I wish more women knew (and would respect) is that if we have a higher sex drive than them and they aren’t in the mood, a nice hand job is greatly appreciated. While solo play is fun, nothing, to me anyway, beats any form of sexual interaction with my wife.

    Why just last night…oops…that’s for my blog!

  12. Anonymous

    scribe called steff said…

    Oh, dear, now that’s incentive for taking yoga, huh?

    Enquiring minds want to know: did you swallow, or spit? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Interesting that you asked. Sometimes I swallowed, but usually didnt. Very odd feeling, swallowing your own come as it shoots directly out of your penis. Strange feeling indeed, even guilty on occassion. Am I gay? I just did a hetero/homosexual act at the same time? Strange, and strangely erotic…Wish I could still do it (sigh)

    Man from Dallas

  13. Anonymous

    Btw, I have a story about masturbating with a Honey Baked Ham. No kidding. I was about 13. A leftover ham with the bone taken out, and for some reason it dawned on my that it looked and felt very similiar to a pussy. No one was home, I tried it out, and it was AMAZING. I masturbated in the ham probably 15 times in the next few days keeping it in a Glad bag in my closet, even warmed it in the microwave to see if it would feel more realistic (it did) before I had to threw it out

    To this day, whenever I see a ham on Christmas Day table, I get a little chuckle. Did I really do that? Everyonce in awhile I think of buying one to see if it has the same effect on me 20 some years later….

    Guys, if you get that desperate for the real thing, dont know it before you try it đŸ™‚

    Man from Dallas

  14. Curvaceous Dee

    *returns to read further comments*

    Really interesting seeing what everyone – male and female – had to say about this. Thanks for bringing up the topic, Steff!

  15. Anonymous

    Laura and some other female responders..noted above that they liked to watch a man masturbate. It was 7-8 years ago when I first had a woman tell me they enjoyed watching and found it erotic, to see a man handle his hard cock. I found it erotic to think about this. One woman I interacted with on-line could get quite descriptive, a few times I spoke with her by phone, as she lived several states away. She wanted me to describe my actions, she would become active with her vibrator and at times she would put nipple clamps on when we spoke. I could always tell when she put the clamps on, it’s hard to hide that “uhh” when the clamp tightened on the nipple. She said her favorite was sitting in a chair, facing me while I sat on the edge of the bed..she described how she would spread her legs and play with herself which watching the movement of the swollen head in my hand.

  16. Knattyb

    Masterbation, oh no… where to start.

    Possibly my all time favorite pass-time. Alright, I started when I was 14, the summer after grade 9. Why I waited that long? cause I was stupid and bought into that whole “it’s dirty and wrong” thing. Which is almost funny because I then spent the rest of highschool going home for lunch most days to masterbate, just to get me through the day. Actually that first time I remember being completely shocked at the idea of cum. I knew I was supposed to, but to see it for the first time was a little beyond belief.

    anyway, after that first time all hell broke loose. It probably took that whole summer to “get the hang of it”, which is mostly just experimenting and more importantly finding your limits. 3-4 times a day is perfect, more than 5 times a day without lube can leave you a little sore, and after 6 you start ejaculating blood.

    I started masterbating to old magazines i assumed were my fathers, that i found in my house. the magazines were really old and didn’t have much in the way of pictures, but the stories more than made up for it. The next progression was the pictures in a tantra book; which can teach you a lot of good tricks at a young age. later I started taping movies off of late night showcase and then the internet. Complete fantasy was the last step and definately the most fulfilling, but increasingly more time consuming. What I find when it comes to porn for me is that i’m not really interested in the women…or men. It’s more the reactions and sounds that I like. A major turn off for me is and porn where the woman is staring at the camera and smiling. If she’s not into it than I’m definately not going to be. Even when I fantasize it’s not the person that is so important but how I imagine pleasing them and their reaction to it.

    I tend to masterbate sans lube, but lube does make for a nice treat. although I definately don’t recomend women to take up the bareback approach… you really need a good feel for what you’re doing. Lately I’ve been keeping with my 3 and day rule, but that nuber goes up depending how much sex I’m getting at the time. If i’m getting a lot of sex, I tend to masterbate more on the days that i’m not getting any.

    The longest time i’ve ever gone without
    is 14 days. this was at university with a roommate that just never leaves the room. I had to resort to the public showers, not that the public part ever bothered me because they were individual stalls with doors, but i just can’t enjoy myself in the shower. there is something about the friction of skin and water that just seems so unappealing to me.

    As far as partners go, I’ve never been “caught” exactly, but I have asked and been asked to masterbate infront of partners. I find that masterbating ids a great alternative when you’re not in the mood or too exhausted for sex. Also, there’s nothing sexier than masterbating to your partner masterbating to you masterbating.

    I think thats about it. 7 years of fantastic masterbation, and a whole lot more to come.

    – totally going to take up yoga…

  17. Phaedrous

    Steph – love the blog. Very interesting to see diffent perspectives. And now, something I can contribute to. As you may know, my present situation is one where my wife and I cannot have sex anymore. So, my only release is masturbation.

    I have always masturbated to some degree since my first discovery of its mysteries and pleasures somewhere in my early teens. It cannot take the place of good sex, but it is always there as a standby.

    I have never been asked by a partner to masturbate in front of her, so it has always been a solitary experience (except for those earliest of years when, as boys, we would masturbate in small groups as we learned the ropes). Therefore, the focus of my thoughts as I masturbate is the anonomous sex act. I started with “found” mags and trash books, moved to higher forms of liturature, and now use the internet as a source for porn video clips. I gravitate to fantasies of anal sex more often than not, but any sexual act can serve. I don’t usually get excited watching a man get a blow job, but watching women giving and receiving oral sex with each other is exciting.

    I sometimes get horny enough at night to get up and masturbate in the bathroom while my wife is sleeping. I try not to do this too much because our lack of sex life is a saddness for us both and I don’t want to remind her of it.

    I generally masturbate in front of the PC without lube. As a previous poster commented though, that does not work as well if a partner is doing it. My experience is that someone else either uses too much pressure, uses too much friction on the skin, or has a hard time with rythym (where’s that spell checker when you need it?).

    So, I look on this thread with interest. I will continue to give myself pleasure as long as it is the only way of finding release. The biggest challenge is doing so in a open room in a house with one wife, two children, and one dog, though I suspect the dog only finds it boring that I stroke myself and not her.


  18. Anonymous

    It’s possible for a guy to masturbate himself to orgasm (no ejaculation) sans touching his dick.

    Anyone care to corroborate or refute?

  19. scribe called steff

    I’ve seen reports where that’s apparently true for up to 10% or so of the male population. Guess there are some pluses to an active imagination, huh?

    Remind me to do a poll on that sometime.

    Pretty forgetful at the moment.

  20. Richard Lovel

    Hi. I stumbled across your blog posting and would like to bring my website, yahoo group, and blogs to your attention. Masturbation is the central interest of my life, and I facilitate a community of males like myself. We are of of all sexual orientations from straight to gay. What binds us is the “abnormal” interest in masturbation we share. Many of us have forsworn or are incapable of penetrative partner sex due to our preference for masturbation. I would be pleased to offer you insights as you request, and to collaborate on your male masturbation project.

    See especially Onania — The Journal of Chronic Masturbation, my main blog on the subject.

    Richard Lovel

    Links PeterFilesGuidance group PeterFiles web site | PeterFiles blog | Onania — The Journal of Chronic Masturbation | masturbation links

  21. swingman06

    Hi! I saw your male masturbation research project through some kinky group I’m a member of at Yahoo. Thought I’d write you about… well, don’t know what to call it. A fetish? Maybe. A special masturbation technique? Well probably someone out there has done that before. And if so… well, would be interesting to see if there are others into this…

    In short: I like playing with my cock while it’s soft. There’s something about that feeling of it hanging loosely, bending side to side. I also like flopping it around, slapping against the legs or my stomach, and stretching…

    The long story – let me start from the beginning. I don’t have erection problems. My real masturbation sessions involve a hard-on, a lube, intense fast stroking, and a big ejaculation. They’re usually something quick, a result of a more or less sudden urge to just-cum, just-get-off

    Taking the cock pump off is the highlight of the whole session… I’ve made videoclips of it for myself many times. As the cylinder slips off, my heavy, engorged penis falls out, swaying between my legs. I’ve never experienced that feeling before – normally when soft I’m not big enough for that. But with pumping I reach my full size and then some. It’s an entire different kind of pleasure, to feel your manhood hanging like that. Boy, am I jealous of well-endowed guys who feel that without the pumping silliness!

    I’m straight and not at all curious, but have an open mind and a very hyper-erotic imagination. Have to say – thinking of what that looks like to a partner turned me on! I’ve taken lots of pictures, made little video clips, searched the porn world for scenes where the woman is playing with the man while soft – there seem to be very few, actually.

    So back to the topic of masturbating… after pumping I’d love to be watched… just leaning back, lazily flopping my swollen cock around… and fantasize about someone getting turned on by that…

    Does anyone? I think of couples where men have ED, I think of domme’s who humiliate their subs (although that’s kind of scary), and I think of just women leaning back in front of their screens watching. Surely there’s a (small?) group somewhere that finds images of soft cocks erotic? Would like to hear!

  22. Guy Named C

    I like to start by grabbing the cock head and the part just below it and squeezing it. As my cock gets hard I start to stroke it, either with lube in long movements or without by clamping my hand just under the head and using a more rapid jerking motion.

    I like to jack off to guys in athletic gear, Lycra, soccer shorts, baseball uniforms and wrestling singlets. I love seeing a guy in a wrestling singlet or Speedo with his bulge clearly visible through the tight spandex, there for everyone to see. I start to fantasize about him grabbing his wrestling partner and coping a feel of his cock and nuts.

    When my partner catches me jacking, I just ask him if I can have a few more minutes alone to finish up or I get him to finish me off.

    I started masturbating at 13. I was in the bathroom and I don’t know what possessed me to put baby oil on my cock. Maybe I was already rubbing it a bit and it felt good so I squeezed a little oil into my palm and started to rub it into my cock. I just couldn’t stop rubbing as it just felt great. Then finally my body tightened up and I just started shooting loads of cum from my rock hard teen cock. I had been wondering for a few years how guys came and I immediately know this was the answer. From oil I progressed to Vasaline and then to dry masturbating. Now mostly I do it dry or sometimes I put a condom on and then put my clothes back on. I can sit in front of the computer for up to an hour and rub my cock in the condom and if anyone walks into the home office, I just stop for a bit. Shooting a hot wad in the condom is easy to clean up too. Sometimes I’m too lazy, don’t use the condom and just end up soiling my boxer shorts with sticky cum and have to wipe my skin clean with a cum rag.

    Another great way to masturbate is in cruisy public restrooms. There are plenty of married guys that just like to jack off occasionally with another guy but are mostly straight. It is hot to stand at a urinal and watch another guy stroke his dick while he watches me do the same.

  23. Anonymous

    Love this blog!Let’s have some more seamy jerk off talk. I love to see a man mastubate.Once,I was with a guy,who led me,naked to a bed & asked me to masturbate myself, to orgasm.Then,he straddled me & jerked himself off over me,with fast,hard strokes.He came all over my breasts & stomach.He rubbed it into my skin a little,before he got off & wiped me off wih a towel. Wow! Oh,to have that experience again! I get so horney while reading this blog,that I evenually masurbate,while fantasing about a tall,well built man,sitting in a chair,with his legs spread,while I suck him to orgasm.All the while,he’s talking dirty & calling me dirty names What a turn on!!!Thanks,all you guys,for sharing & conributing to my intense arousal.

  24. Sunny

    Hello there,
    This is sunny and my interesting story on ant bite masturbation is as follows.
    I love masturbating. One fine day I found a lot of ants in my room thought lets have fun with the ants. So I took ants alive and placed on my penis and they bite me. That made me aroused very hard. It feels so good when I get bit by ants on my penis head. My penis head became read and I completely enjoyed it. 1st hold alive ant and place it on penis and then leave it a second and place your finger on back of ant. Then automatically to escape the ant will bite and trust me you will love it. This will make very much excited and then masturbate, you will float in heaven. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
    Sexy regards,

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