Unleashing Your Inner Vixen: Breakout Moves Pt. 1

I bet Isaac Newton was the bomb in bed. I bet he was sitting under that tree, fantasizing about hiking up Mathilda’s knickers the night before when that apple came toppling down out of that tree.
After all, Newton’s famous Third Law of Physics, “Each action must have an equal and opposite reaction,” should be every lover’s credo.
Recently, I wrote a little piece I playfully called “Fishies: Wake Up and Smell the Pheromones,” about “dead fish” lovers who lie there. Woman On Bottom wrote, asking:

So… the chick is on bottom, the dude is on top and they’re having sex. He’s thrusting like nobody’s business. The age-old question remains: what is she supposed to be doing? Scratching his back? Moaning? Wrapping her legs around him? Rocking against him? Talking dirty to him?
How does she avoid this whole “dead fish” syndrome guys always complain about? What skills should she posess? And, is there a difference in the “woman on bottom”‘s job from fucking to lovemaking?

Well, Bottom, it was funny you should ask. I was kicking this idea around for a few days before you asked, and since then, I’ve just been giving it some thought.
See, the problem with a lot of women in your position (hardy-har) is that you simply fail to realize the potential that being on the bottom offers. What, you can’t move your legs when you’re under there? Sure you can. You ask about scratching – hell, yeah!
The normal, healthy, sexually active male will be in his glory if he thinks he’s inspired you to become this sexually insatiable beast who just can’t get enough of his lovin’. If you’re digging your nails into him, moaning, and locking your legs around his hips, well, he’s gonna think you’re having a good time. More importantly, he’s gonna think he’s The Man, and that’s gonna get him more involved too.
Being on the receiving end of true desire always, always feels incredible. If your man’s never felt that desire, it might explain away a lot of changes in his behaviour, or a reduced focus on his appearance or attention to you.
I’ve encountered what happens to men when their women fail to get involved sexually, and the outcome is always this sad, seemingly fractured man who simply seems to have ‘something missing’ in him. Sure, passion.
It’s really, really, really important women learn how much they can offer sex, even if they’re stuck on the bottom. By changing that up, showing you’re interested, it’s likely you’ll take it to the next level and learn a whole schwack of new positions.
Before any of this goes anywhere, you’ve got to understand Newton’s Law. Every little thing he does to you should provoke a reaction to him. If not, then why’s he bothering? Every little thing you do to him will also provoke a reaction. This is the sexual circle. One reaction gets another gets another gets another gets an orgasm. Something like that, but there’s a few more moves in there, I think.
Your first step in releasing your inner vixen? Kegel exercises. Now, I just don’t care enough to keep looking until I find a site that agrees with my views, so keep in mind, that site thinks men don’t really have to do Kegels, that women offer more by learning them – WTF? YES, MEN HAVE TO DO KEGELS. Shit, man.
Yes, guys, learn to do Kegel exercises because we want you to be able to break the mold and enter into the 15+ minute zone of loving, thanks. We want every one of you to be a rumoured super-lover-man that Sting is, and HE does HIS Kegels. Jesus Christ. Oh, the work I have yet to do!
But I do digress. Every time you squeeze your vaginal muscles, he’s going to feel it. More importantly, every time you squeeze them, you know you’re contributing, you’re impacting things a bit. Most importantly? Great exercise for the abs.
If you want the best reason of all for being a rockstar lover – it’s the exercise. You’re supposed to get 30-minutes of exercise a day, right? Well… what if I told you that you could have better abs, a tighter ass, a stronger lower back, tight inner thighs, and improved endurance, all from 30 minutes of exercise every day, without ever, ever having to leave your bed? You’d call the FCC and try to bust my ass for fraud, I’d bet.
But it’s true. Fuck your way to a better ass, says I. Hell, it might even help your bust if you do enough with your arms. Yep, Tony Little can take his Gazelle and shove it, man.
The next step towards Rockstar-Loverness:
Put on an aural show. Start moaning and gasping a little. It’s interesting, I think there’s enough fodder to do a couple postings on the importance of moaning. You go back and you look at this site, you’ll find the second or third posting I did was about moaning and such. It annoyed me. But then, right after posting that, I was talking with a lady I know and she told me about the bad old days when she was in an sanitarium in the Czech Republic for “sexual dysfunction.” There was a woman there who’d used to be a real tiger in bed. She and her husband moved into the city, and her sexual enjoyment went to nil, and it’d been years since she orgasmed.
What did they discover? She had to scream when having sex. They moved from a quiet countryside farmhouse into a small, thin-walled apartment, and she went from screamer sex to silent sex, and lost the orgasms to go with it.
It got me thinking. I started to wonder if the silent sex I was having was somehow psychically reinforcing any of the old hang-ups I had from my Catholic youth, et al. Since then, during the sex I’ve had (including masturbation, actually), I’ve made myself be much more vocal, and oh, my God, it’s just so much hotter! I was really surprised that I’d feel less self-conscious as a result of it, but that was the case. I started feeling more dominant, confident, and willing to do what it took to make myself really enjoy the moment — moreso than ever before. It was a conscious effort for the first five minutes, but then it became natural, just putting a voice to all those things I’d already been feeling.
So, here I was, always championing the “shut up and fuck me” approach, but I’m a big girl and I can admit my personal discovery that moaning audibly, inserting dramatic gasps that really convey my surprise or delight, muttering a bit to my lover, etc, really allows me to get into the moment and be a player. I think it’s the conscious shunning of all that repression and backwards sexual thinking I’d had foisted on me since my youth.
I think you really need to open your mouth a little and get involved. If you just lie there, silently, every single time, you’re going to find it easier to slip into a rut. But if you groan, moan, or gasp whenever your lover changes a move or something, it’s the early warning system to your pleasure or pain. It clues your lover in: “She wants more of that. Wow, I’m hot.”
Unleashing your inner vixens & rockstars will continue next time around, and I’ll divulge a few specific newby moves for converting the boring old Missionary Position into the start of a whole new thang for you. For now, really focus on the Kegels and the notion of having a voice during sex. They’re small things, but they’re huge, huge foundations for this thing, this new lover, that you’re building here.
NOTE: The photo is of a position some call the Bamboo. It’s a slight deviation from the Missionary Position, and, uh, a real good time, if you know what I’m sayin’. There are a couple other slick positions like this for the starting rockstar to engage in, starting in the Missionary, on bottom. That’s next time.

10 thoughts on “Unleashing Your Inner Vixen: Breakout Moves Pt. 1

  1. Labbie

    I love it when she scratches my back, digging her nails in. Scars? I hope not, but, if she digs in that deep, then I’ll consider them battle scars.
    I also love it when she thrusts back in rhythm with me… Mmm… Yes.
    But I’ve said too much.

  2. scribe called steff

    Yep, there’s something sexy about a lover digging into you with fingers. I. Just. Love. That.


    Hence, I do it a lot, too.

    And about the returning-thrusts thing, yeah, you can bet I’ll be mentioning that. I mean, holy given, Batman.

    All right, I want sex RIGHT NOW, dammit.

  3. vagueBoy

    I had no idea that kegels did something for a guy…
    Do you know of any resources on that for more info specific to men?

  4. scribe called steff

    Mhorts — Fun-filled sex and not much else, it would seem. We’re in different places in life — I’ve moved past my shit, he’s mired in his, and I’m not really interested in that. Great guy, good sex, but that’ll be all that wrote, methinks.

    Vagueboy — Yeah, it’ll help you resist ejaculation for longer, help you be harder for longer, ergo, make you the number-one lover-man of the ladies, I would think. Kegels are your first step to being able to do Tantric sex.

    I just did a quick Google search for “kegels” “men” “instructions,” or you could put “benefits” instead of instructions for a little more detailed explanation, like this one, here:




    Short and sweet:


    Great gay resource for it (don’t be narrowminded, heh):


    Anyhow, yeah, definitely recommend guys to look into it. It takes a while before you really see results. I had a personal trainer for a couple months a year or two ago and she helped me learn where the muscles were, and helped me to focus on actually contracting those muscles as much as I can while I do any kind of gym work or cycling or whatever. It’s adviseable just for your general core strengthening, but hell, when you bring the Kegel aspect in, you get even more benefits.

    But yes, weeks and months before real results show.

  5. IamKungFool

    reading the bits of sexual common sense you offer…it’s inspiring. noise and reaction and feedback, next to good lubrication, is the most important part of sex. guys DO NOT i’ll repeat for the nose bleeds: DO NOT have a vagina. we don’t know how they work. vagina’s are like bicycles, you can read a thousand books about them but you don’t know shit until you’re on top of one. and without feeling the way the bike wants to lean so you can reciprocate all you’re going to do is fall off.

    enough of the metaphor. girls let him know what you want, guys be receptive. otherwise you’ll end up with mechanical sex that isn’t all that enjoyable and turns into more of a chore.

    rant had.

  6. AlwaysArousedGirl

    Yeah, isn’t that weird how it’s sexy even to hear yourself being noisy? It’s great feedback.

    Kegles are also great for childbirth, so I’ve been told.

  7. Sine qua non

    I know so many women that miss out on how much sound turns men on (me, anyway). I’ve been trying to get this across to my wife for years now, to no avail. Any suggestions for how to express this to her? I have flat out told her, even in response to her complaints about my “lack of interest”, and still nothing.

  8. scribe called steff

    Aroused — I think what can be interesting about moaning alone during masturbation is that you really hear yourself, and I think you realize that it sounds hotter than you think it does. It’s a little freeing to have a less subjective perspective on yourself, and cutting loose and emoting when flying solo gives you the chance to really pay attention to the mood it generates.

    Kung Fool — This is what I’m saying. 🙂

  9. scribe called steff

    Sine Qua Non —

    Geez, I don’t know what to tell you right now, but if you want to send me an email that’s a little more detailed, but I’ll keep the important stuff private, then I can give it some thought…

    But you boys out there should keep in mind that you should be doing the same thing, moaning audibly from time to time. If you’re not doing it, and she’s not getting that sense from you, then how’s she gonna understand? Just a thought.

    (Then again, if it’s lifeless sex, why would you be moaning anyhow? Sigh. Oh, the troubles. Yes, do email me — click the address in the sidebar on main, and I’ll give it some thought. I’ll forget about it if you just leave it here.)

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