Super Steff Pseudo-Single on a Friday Night

And what do I choose to do with it? Sleep. It would seem Girl has pathological bed tendencies. Someone get a shrink.
No, no. I had a migraine-ish thing. On the list of 817 things you don’t really know about me is the fact that I am the Human Barometer. Yes, a weather front shift looms, and so does a giant barometric flip of the switch in my head, and sometimes I’m felled by these mondo-mofos of a headache.
The Guy is being demonstrated the Evil Mind-controlling Superpowers of that arch-villain, The Office. While he’s out there battling Evil, I’ve been taking a break from my Autocrat of the World role. I “laid down” at nine and just rolled out of bed at 11:32. What am I, 12? I haven’t been to bed that early in quite a while.
Stop the presses, people. We may be on the verge of a mini Dating Dilemma. You see, there is now a great disparity in Me-Time ratios. Me, I’m drowning in Me-Time. I’m all lazy in my Joe Boxers and my hooded sweatshirt, curling my red-painted toes in the chilly spring night air, yawning, and debating between the merits of Bath versus Shower.
The Guy? Trapped in death-defying battle with his dreaded arch-nemesis, The Office, as he slays Deadlines and mocks the Greatly Abhored Accounting Department on the dreaded conundrum of Mandatory Overtime.
Tomorrow, I will be well-rested, and he will be bone-tired, having worked nearly 18 hours or more in a row. Thus, the Great Relationship Inequity shall begin.

[Please, someone, break through the Space-Time Continuum and break my shift-key, will you?]

He is likely to be short-tempered, low-energy, and unwilling to do much. And understandably so. I am like to feel sorry for him, then feel sorry for me being all Boyfriend-Deprived. And understandably so. But it can’t stop there.
This is life. My job as an adult, for this 72-hour period, is to realize he’s having a hard time of it, and I’m, well, lying around in my Joe Boxers and my sweatshirt, having eaten a good bowl of butter chicken . This means, no matter how I slice it, my weekend’s a let-down. But guess what? Guy’s weekend really went from zero-to-blows in about 60 seconds, long, long ago.
The additional fall-out is that sex may or may not be on the books for a few days. And understandably so. Does it mean I’m happy about it? What do you think, Junior Einstein? Oh, that’s right – that’s a big “No!” But I’m an adult, and I’ll deal just fine. I can’t even fathom having to work 17 hours in a row using actual brainpower like the Guy is now. To expect him to function at all like a human in the next couple of days is a tall order, despite whatever superpowers might reside in his pants.
Tonight, I understand. Tomorrow, when my body remembers it’s female and thus emotionally needy by nature, I might feel a sniffly sad thing or two that I’m not going to have the weekend I deep-down-inside want. Whatever. Grown-up powers, activate! (Okay, if you’re one of my collegiate readers and you missed the Justice League of America and the Wonder Twins, well, that’s your problem. You missed the minimum age requirement for riding, but we chose to overlook it. Feel grateful!)
Relationships are full of disparities, and the hard part is being perceptive enough and adult enough to realize when the scales have tipped drastically in one direction versus another. The other challenge is remembering that, while this “weekend” feels like forever when I can’t be with a lover I crave, in the long run, it’s a couple friggin’ days in the life of my relationship, so I need to keep perspective on just how troubling I feel my times really are.
It’s hard to pull your head out of your inner child’s ass sometimes in order to remember just how much there is a big world that rotates around your itty-bitty little existence. If you don’t manage the cranial extraction though, you’re fucked. It’s really that simple. A “woe is me” attitude only gets you so far.
No woe-is-me here. I’ve just been handed the opportunity to get my place dealt with, get out on my own a bit, and live my own life, hence pseudo-single. The Guy’s stuck being whipped by the Man, and those lashes are gonna sting for a few days. This is how the vicious circle spins, and my secret superhero Activator powers are just kicking in. (Insert powerful whooshing SFX here.)
Wonder Twin powers, ACTIVATE! In the shape of… grown-up!

10 thoughts on “Super Steff Pseudo-Single on a Friday Night

  1. Romantic Perv

    Very funny! Well not the being pseudo-single, although the phrase it self is. Why not use your super powers and become Form of The Man, and rescue the Guy from the evil torments. While you are at it, you could free all the others trapped with him, there by covering his escape. By Monday The Man will be back in business as usual, but you would have saved the weekend for many!

    And for those that were too young for this ride and didnt google Wonder Twins…shame on you!

    I am thinking that Aqua-Man might have been a hit at the swinger hot tubs. Just thinking out loud.

  2. Sarah Jayne

    Now don’t hit me across the head… but why don’t you go to the gym? Whenever I have too much time on my hands (especially so when there’s thinking involved) I like to give myself a god workout!

    1) It keeps you busy and (hopefully) and the end you’re utterly exhausted
    2) It helps with migraines (at least in my case)
    3) You’ll be just as tired as the boyfriend
    4) You’ll be feeling extra sexy, extra fan-fucking-tastic the next occasion you do have sex.

    I see those as all pros? Eh?

  3. scribe called steff

    Perv — No, instead I’ll let the Guy earn money and take me out to a fancy dinner. All good. 🙂 Poor Guy. Next weekend is a long weekend and we can spend extra time together if need be.

    SJB — But that’s the plan. I’m getting a bike ride in and doing some organizing around here that needs to be done pretty quick. Not the end of the world. Just a fun reason for a posting.

    And exercise doesn’t help wiht those human barometer migraines. But that’s gone now anyhow. Yay!

  4. Haaaaaaa

    Ha! I had to google it. There are also those of too old to remember The Wonder Twins, who watched and read the Justice League before The Wonder Twins were admitted into the league. The Justice League of my generation had Superman, Batman and Robin, Wonder Women, Flash, The Green Lantern, and Aquaman.

    Anyway, Steff, to mix metaphors, take whatever you need in the form of a Super Energy Pill and have a blast with your Pseudo-Single evening. 17 hour days suck, been there too often. Does work interrupt life or is work part of life? I suppose the answer lies in what you do for a living.

  5. Vixxxen

    *chuckles* That post took me a couple moments to wrap my mind around. Life disparing and so much more mixed with superhero content. As for all that is happening like so many things in life it usually seems they must be ridden out for better or worse.

    Cheers and good luck,

  6. myself

    Human barometer here in Montreal too…I feel for ya girl, I feel for ya! Our summer humidity wreaks havoc with my little brain…oh well.

    Praise be to drugs!

  7. theAxe

    I know this is unrelated, but do you know who drew the pic you posted? it kinda looks like something Alex Ross might have done but i’m not sure. (yes, i too am a supergeek, i’ve probably shot myself in the foot with girls many-a-time by admitting I play D&D)

  8. scribe called steff

    So it’s official, my boyfriend outgeeks you. He knew for sure it was Alex Ross, but I looked it up anyhow, and Wikipedia agrees.

    I confess, all of my actual “connection” relationships have been with geeks. I’m not much into comics and stuff like that, but I suspect it’s because I’m ignorant. Boyfriend thinks I have a repressed comic fan somewhere inside me ‘cos every time he turns around I’ve got another piece of comic art on this blog or the other.

    Maybe he’s right. Who cares. I’m apparently my own special kind of geek anyhow. Que sera sera.

  9. scribe called steff

    Oh, and other people…

    Haaaaaa— You didn’t have to do a search, there’s an info page link on the Wonder Twins in my piece. Yeesh. Why do I bother? People, work with me!

    And in answer to your pop philosophy there, work is life only when you’re doing what you love. The rest of the time, it’s a necessary evil.

    Vixxxen — Hey, I’m enjoying my Me Time. It’s just that the Guy’s gonna be without any, and then I’ll be more sane, he’ll be more distracted, etc, until the forces mellow and we get onto a more even keel. Oh, the tumultuous life.

    Myself — I usually just grin and bear it. Sometimes I let it shut me down. IE, this weekend. 🙂

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