The Brave New Single World

I got out tonight, off my single ass, and met some new people.
The trouble with this city is just how entrenched everyone is and how hard it can be to meet new people.
I joined a social organization a year and a half or so ago, when my self-esteem was only beginning to be picked up off the floor, and tonight I finally made it out to my first event.
Meetup is a place where you can go and find “meet-up” groups that do things you like. Kayaking? Sure! Hiking? Sure! Photography? Sure! D&D? Sure! Dining? Sure! They’re all there. And unlike joining a group where you do varied events all the time, you can go to as few or as many different Meetup groups that you can find to appeal to your sensibilities. (The only fees tend to be a $1 – 2 drop-in fee, since the groups cost money to run each month. Pay and be quiet.)
(The organization is worldwide. Check the website out. More than 2.5 million international members, and more than 14,000 groups.)
The folks there tonight were all in their 30s and 40s, and were all smart, good conversationalists, funny, friendly, and so forth. It wasn’t just one of those things where you know the underlying thought is “who’s coming home with me tonight?” It’s genuinely about just meeting people.
But, hey, betcha some sex happens. I ain’t no bookie, but I know a thing or three ’bout odds, baby.
Naturally, I somehow managed to mention I wrote this smutty blog, so maybe they’ll say hi or something in the comments. (Hi!)
The point being: If you’re stuck in single, annoyed at your now-married friends, tired of seeing the latest “adowable!” stream of drool pouring down their kids’ faces, wishing your college friends had managed to evolve by now, or anything like that, then this is an awesome way to meet new people.
When you sign up, sign up for the email as well, so that you get the weekly digest that lists all the events happening that week. That way, you don’t just get notices about the Meetup group you joined, but about everything happening in your city, and on what days. That’s how I saw the listing for Clerks II when I shoulda been working and not checking email, and decided to get off my apathetic ass and head to the flick. (C II rocked, by the way. I’ll be writing about the pussy troll sometime. Laughed my ass off. Great fun.)
I’m not a joiner. I don’t wanna join a fucking team or take an art class or do some pottery, because it’s redundant. Same shit every time. I like variety. This way I have it.
Anyhow, some people have asked in the past how you meet new folks and how do you Be a Good Single Person. Well, not by hanging out in bars, not by sitting on your ass at home, but by doing something that allows you to engage with others in a safe environment, and this is that.
I would actually DISSUADE you from just joining a class or something. Couple reasons: One, you don’t liek the people, you’re fucked. No variety, same thing every week, no change in people, and it probably costs a lot more. This is an endless array of meets that occur on a plethora of topics, with a wide variety of people. Can’t beat it.
Check it. You might like it. I did.

10 thoughts on “The Brave New Single World

  1. myself

    Well aren’t you fabulous?

    Thanks, I just went and signed up for a whole heck of stuff myself thru that meeetups website, looks like a heck of a lot of fun!

  2. scribe called steff

    Awesome. 🙂 Hope you enjoy it.

    Yeah, I figured it probably doesn’t apply to at least half or more of my readers, but the ones it will apply to, well, hey, it might just be awesome. 🙂

    Have fun. Don’t sweat it. I was amazed at how welcoming everyone was. Nice.

  3. themarina

    We didn’t scare you away? God damn! I must be loosing my touch! 🙂

    Hope to see you again soon!

  4. Anonymous

    Yeah, the 3,000 mile commute would be a killer. I’m glad you have this, though. It sounds great. Maybe i can get something like that going around here…


  5. ATL LG

    Well… you got out there… group things are cool… I alway look into something I’ve never done. From time to time I’ve met really cool people and some meetings have lead to other things… don’t just put it out there..put it WAY out there… go whitewater rafting ALONE…most outfitters will put you with SOMEBODY… who cares….ok this is getting way too long.

  6. la petite dévergondée

    meet-up is scary! congrats for having the babe-balls to get out and be adventurous.

    big kiss -la petite

  7. l'amoureux de KT

    Looks pretty interesting. I’ll try the Mac User Dingwads group sometime and see what happens.

    In the olden days, we used to meet a few individuals and make friends with them through high school [0] college [1] work [2] work-interaction (non co-workers) [5] or hobbies [2]. We also used to join groups outside of this circle to do the same [0].

    It really f’n sucks trying to meet like-minded individuals. This looks like a decent alternative [to joining a hermetic order or worse!]

    Thanks for the heads up!

  8. amati

    Thanks for the info Steff. I’m relocating in September and this is the kind of thing I was hoping to find. Ps – been reading for a while now and for what it’s worth, I’m with you on the meds. I didn’t think I “qualified” to take them and after a year of deliberating I took action. It has made a huge difference. Fuck the social stigma (if there really is one anymore..) – I’m just glad I feel better 🙂

  9. Sharon

    Hey Steff, =)

    Thanks for the raging endorsement on our meetup group, but having a cool Chica like you to gather into the fold made our Welcome Wagon job a cinch!

    Printed out your blog to get a taste while communting to do The Grind and take in the fireworks from the top of Grouse last night. Was enraptured by your literary magic to the point that transit security was whispering into their two-ways with “Oh, oh. We got a live one here!” looks on their faces. =8-0

    Anyway, keep it comin’ girl. I’m hooked. You totally rock!

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