Vaginas: Uptight, everything's all right? Not so much.

There’s a scene in The Tailor of Panama in which Pierce Brosnan, as Andy Osnard, a British spy reassigned to Panama, is shown his new office for the first time by his hot but too tense new colleague.
He wanders to a safe in the wall above his new desk and starts trying to crack the combination. The woman, unimpressed, mutters that she doesn’t think it’s even locked.
Sure enough, Osnard gets the safe ajar and glances at her as it creaks open, and says with a suggestive leer on his face. “You’re right… it was open. Just tight from lack of use.”
It’s a great line, funny as hell, and probably makes most women want to fuck Pierce Brosnan then and there. Nothing like a dirty cute Brit.
But it’s also a reality. The longer a woman goes without sex, and without ensuring she’s indulging in some kind of penetrative masturbation with vibrators or dildos, the more her vagina will “atrophy” and tighten. Funny, this doesn’t get spoken of much out there, but perhaps it should.
The beauty of a vagina is its elasticity. While it’s an organ, it’s also governed by many critical muscles. If a woman is not exercising it, it will lose some pliability. The longer she goes without the “exercise”, the more atrophying you’ll run into, and the more difficult sex will be when she gets around to it.
That’s not something we hear a lot about. There’s the old saying, “use it or lose it”, and it applies to both men and women when it comes to masturbation. Men need to be ejaculating regularly to maintain prostate health, but women need to be Kegeling and penetrative-masturbating on a relatively regular basis in order to maintain their vaginal functionality and integrity.
I mean, when you stop exercising and working out on a total-body scale and you start sitting on the couch for a few weeks, how long does it take for your toning to vanish? Not very, right? So, when it comes to sex, how long do ya figure you need to go without before you lose crucial toning down there? Why do we justify scheduling in working out for our total-body fitness, yet seldom worry about maintaining fitness of our sexual organs?
When we’re sexually inactive, full-on masturbation by women is more important than ever. If you’re someone like me who’s been in the position of being deprived of libido as a chemical side effect, it’s important to override the lack of interest felt by the body, and do what needs to be done to stay healthy.
The trouble is, most women get off on clitoral stimulation for orgasms, and I suspect I’m not the only one out there who, 85% of the time, thinks a vibrator is too much work when the clit can be massaged for 45 seconds to produce an orgasm that follows quickly. Easy, tidy, effective, no clean-up, and wholly portable. Not to mention that, when only 60% of women masturbate, you can bet that a good chunk of that total feels awkward about inserting anything into themselves.
It’s a real shame that it’s the sex who has more issues with masturbation that is biologically required to perform a more “invasive” and socially chuckled-about procedure in order to maintain the optimum health of their vaginas, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles.
After all, it seems there’s still a stigma out there about women using vibrators. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — it’s only the documented sluts and feminists we see in the media with vibrators. The good girls just use hands or maybe a massaging showerhead. Or nothing at all. But she sticks a Rabbit vibe inside her? She’s a man-eater.
Granted, the attitudes are changing, but it’s still a different segment of woman who supposedly uses sex toys, and maybe that stereotype is true to an extent, but wouldn’t it be great for both sexes if that stereotype shattered a little? After all, it’s not like vibrators aren’t actually IMPORTANT for women to use.
I’d be curious to see what percentage of women it is that feels uncomfortable about inserting a vibrator inside her as a result of this not-so-subtle stereotyping that exists everywhere in the media.
I doubt such studies are undertaken that often, about how the average woman masturbates versus the more sexually-liberated one. Because, after all, who really cares how women masturbate? Isn’t it the man’s job to get us off?
Hmm. Talk about your stereotypes.
But if you’re one of these liberated men or women and sex toys work for you… then you should use this 10%-off coupon and go buy yourself a treat at Vibe Review. The coupon is good for as many uses as you want, just save this link and buy often between now and the American election in November. By using this link, you’ll give me a commission of your purchases and help me buy some wine or sexy panties or something. I’ll never know WHO bought anything or WHAT they bought, so your privacy is GUARANTEED, but I’ll get a few bucks stuffed in my piggy bank and the warm-fuzzies will rain happily upon me. So, go for it, and save a few bucks while you’re at it. And feed your favourite scribe. ๐Ÿ™‚
And if you’re not liberated, isn’t it time you started to be? C’mon. Invest in yourself.

7 thoughts on “Vaginas: Uptight, everything's all right? Not so much.

  1. myself

    Ooooo I’m a man eater? Excellent!

    Just bought myself a new vibe last night, I have, ahem, a plethora, I like variety.

    Seeing as I’m toning the rest of me, might as well do the good old vag as well. Considering that the last time I actually had sex was too frigging long ago (ok I have to stop, I may cry).

    Just had a guy tell me that I’m not not the kind of girl that is a f*ck buddy or whatever…but geezus…doesn’t make me a saint or anything.

    Bring on my big bag o’ toys!

  2. Spicy Little Pi

    from one ‘documented slut’ to another…

    If sex is a once a week on a Saturday thing, which it was for a few months, (after a long spell of no regular sex) kitty still tightens up. I needs me some dick on the regular!

    But, boy, do the men love it…

    I’m a huge fan of the vibrator, but nothing beats the vibrator plus penetration…and if you’re in the mood, doubly so ;o)

    Bring on the invasive procedure… rawr, sexy!

    lol at your wine or sexy panties or something, I’ll be sure to think of you in sexy panties drinking wine when my new purchase arrives…

    cheers, dahling ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. a

    i got a great compliment on sunday morning thanks to my 16 years worth of keigling.

    and vibes just make the world go ’round, don’t they?

  4. Scribe Called Steff

    Myself — LOL. You go, girl.

    Spicy — Hilarious.

    A — They’re a beautiful thing, yes.

  5. AB

    Not sure where to post this really, but I gotta say, I love this place. to bits. I used to be all ooh sex, masturbation, dirtyy wroooong (and not in a good way) but thanks to you I’m weelll up for it all.
    Thought I’d share. Thanks for the help and wonderful advice xxxx

  6. Shelly Swallows

    Hey! Pierce Brosnan is Irish! We have very, very little acting talent in this country so I reserve the right to reclaim him as our own. Hairy back though, upsetting.

    On vibrators: I’ve always been very sexual, but it’s only been a few months since I got my first vibrator and my boyfriend had to buy it for me… so I think that DEFINITELY says something about negative vibrator-stigma. If a slut like me was too scared to buy one, I fear for everyone else.

  7. Scribe Called Steff

    I bought my first vibrator when I was young… it’s probably a very, very embarrassing story I’ll share sometime.


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