RANT: "Whine, Whine. #FML! Fuck My Life!"

ED. NOTE: This posting is meant for people who say “FML” and mean it. Like they say, people love the internet because they get to whine on it, and that’s fine. Go ahead, grumble. Just be interesting about it! And don’t be some snivelling fuckwit hyperbolizing and going “FML” because you woke up 30 minutes before your alarm, all right? I don’t care about grumbling, but I _hate_ the saying “FML”. Which is why we’re at this dance. Shall we?
Oh. And this may contain swearwords. Be careful of your fragile little vocabulary thresholds now.
fuck_you-1Trendy these days is the acronym “FML”, short for “Fuck My Life.”
No, fuck your attitude if you’re saying that crap.
Forgetting your lunch is not “FML.” Having to deal with a friend you find annoying because you’re too pussy to deal with it, that’s not “FML”.
That’s “fuck, I’m dumb” or “fuck, I’m a pussy.” You’re to blame either way. That ain’t “FML”.
I’ve been pissed off about seeing “FML” all the time for quite a while now. I see it from spoiled rich kids who have a bad day, or people with ordinary lives who have victim complexes about every little thing that happens. I see it from people with more good luck in a week than I’ve seen in a year sometimes, too. I see it from people who blurt it without really thinking about what it means a lot. People are whining on Twitter about forgetting their lunch and tagging the comment with FML. Seriously?
And this week, THIS WEEK, I’m done.
Shut the fuck up.
People in Haiti? No food, no water, 10% of the country homeless, and the rest, their life just went from bad to shit in an instant. Now, no roadways, dysentery and other diseases soon arriving, live people still buried after 6 days, tropical summer heat and no shelter or shade in the most populated regions, relief having trouble making it in?
THEY can say “FML” this week. They’re allowed.
95% of the people who use it, though, can just shut the fuck up, grow some balls, and face life like the grown-up they ought to damned well be by now.
They’re like the existentialist whiners I hated in college. “Why me? Why me?”
Why YOU? Because it’s your turn. There’s no big mystery here, pal. Sometimes you’re the pigeon, sometimes you’re the statue. Life’s tough, get a helmet. Time to break out the shiny clichés, ‘cos anything’s better than “FML.” Fuck, man.
Fuck your life? Bend over.
When I went through seven years of endless shit, I never whined about “why me” or thought along the lines of “fuck my life.” Maybe I thought “my fucking life”… but never FML. I knew I was getting dealt shit, but I took it for the dumb sequence of bad luck it probably was, and deep down inside I believe it makes the odds that much better that I’ll enjoy the opposite one day — year after year of confusingly good fortune.
But, at this point, I just know what 7 years of mostly shit feels like. And that’s okay. I’m not the only person I know who’s had year after year of tough stuff chucked her way in a row. It happens. It happens a lot more commonly than I wish it did. And I’m not the only person who’s had a pretty resilient attitude through it, either.
Now, though, I feel all John Wayne-y and shit. It makes me feel like a fucking survivor of The Great Depression compared to the weak-ass sissy bitches I see cluttering up the works on the internetz. It just kills me when I see people justify being whiny just because “everyone’s doing it.”
It’s not okay. Words matter. Attitude is everything. You’re fucking with the VIBE, yo!
FML is whining. It’s pathetic. It’s INSULTING to people who really are facing terrible adversities. Those people don’t have the LUXURY of thinking “fuck my life.” They have to get up thinking, “There has to be a way that I can survive my day. There has to be a way I can pay my rent. There has to be a way I can beat this disease. I have to make it through today. Today will be okay.”
Seriously. I could go on and on about this, but let me set an example for you and just shut the fuck up. YOU: Find a better way to complain that doesn’t insult people who really know what a “fucked” life is. Get over yourself.
Life’s gonna stay tough. Get that helmet. And shut the fuck up about “FML”.

11 thoughts on “RANT: "Whine, Whine. #FML! Fuck My Life!"

  1. Kat

    Have I told you how much I love you, really.
    It all goes back to the “I once met a man who had no shoes, than I met a man who had no feet.”. You may be having the worst day ever, but thats not unique. We all have a bad day or two. How you work with your situation sets the stage for getting out of whatever difficulties have arisen. Dont wail and moan. Do something!

  2. Crunchy Carpets

    I do sorta agree with you.however, I also feel that we are all allowed a moment of feeling sorry for ourselves…a moment of self pity, no matter how ‘trivial’ our issues might be in light of the ‘big picture’…sometimes we can feel like life really does suck…and then sure…pull boots up and all that.
    Big picture issues may totally eclipse what is going on in our own tiny lives..but it can still totally suck.

    1. A Scribe Called Steff Post author

      Crunchy — That’s why I state about four times that this is about saying “FML”. I say it’s okay to grumble. I TOTALLY grumble. But I don’t have the balls to say “fuck my life” or “why does this all have to happen to me” and that self-pity bullshit. I grumble about the details — I grumble about what’s going on, not about how I’m somehow the victim of everything. There’s a big difference. “I got stood up by my date. It’s become kind of a shitty night” is one thing, but “I got stood up by my date. Just what I needed, another lousy day this week. It’s always happening to me–” is quite another.
      What you choose to whine about (ie: it being all about you, all happening to you, vs it just being a shitty thing to have happen period) is pretty telling about the battles one will fight in life. I stand by that.
      Absolutely, grumble and complain — just do it about the right things. FML? Bullshit. No one’s going to convince me otherwise.
      Kat & Maria: Thanks. 🙂 And Kat, I love that analogy.

  3. Susan

    This reminds me of what my mom told us when we were kids: “Quit whining! Lots of people have problems. Look at [insert name of person or group of people] – just be glad you’re not them!” Lately I’ve seen “gratitude lists” on Facebook & maybe this is something all the “waaa! FML!” folks might want to try. Maybe you forgot your lunch (understandably frustrating) but try being grateful you have a lunch and a job to eat it at.

  4. Keith

    I have to agree, in general. There’s far too much trivial self-pity bullshit going on.
    But you knock existentialism – it’s been my understanding that it’s mostly about taking responsibility for yourself and your situation no matter how much it sucks or does not suck.

    Contrariwise, there’s also the people who brutalize themselves to accomplish ends they don’t even care about achieving. That would be insufficient self-sympathy, insufficient self-pity. I don’t think who have a word for that.
    If it can get a person to fix a problem, it’s not useless. However, “FML” is crap.

  5. N

    I love you…i truly do….i am about to write my own rant out of the frustrations on twitter and your post was a godsend!
    Hearts and boobies,

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