Uh, Yeah, About That "Bag Discount?"

Dear Whole Foods Clerk (and others):
Yes, I did bring my own bag.
No, I don’t want to donate my 10-cent rebate for being a conscientious shopper to Bob’s Green Yard, Betty’s Pooper-Scooper, or whatever fucking charity it is you’re backing this week.
No, I’m not a bitch because I don’t want to be generous — I’m just really sick of you making money off my dime. Literally.
See, you donate my money, and you get a tax break. Does that tax break go to charity? No, probably into the Whole Foods Whole-Paycheck bank account.
And, hey, now, that sanctimonious look you just shot me because you’re “tired” of “cheap” customers? Go fuck yourself, lady.
It’s been a fucking recession for three years. You know what I’m tired of? Being broke. But, guess what? Nothing’s changing on THAT front because YOUR employer has to keep raising prices because that’s the world we live in.
And, while we’re talking, that bag I brought with me? It doesn’t mean you don’t have to do your job.
Bag my groceries. After all, I’m paying the “We’re Whole Foods, so you’re guilt-free” premium for SOMETHING, right?
Just ring up the groceries, bag ’em, and don’t make me feel like shit for keeping money that I really did actually work for.
Even if it’s just a motherfucking dime.
Love Steff.

7 thoughts on “Uh, Yeah, About That "Bag Discount?"

  1. Trish Smith

    I feel the same way when the cashier decides to “round up” my change, and then gives me that “cheap bitch” look when I say something. I’m so sorry, did you skip that day in math class where they taught you how to make change? ‘Cuz as much as I like shopping at your grocery store, it ain’t a charity, and I’m not donating my three cents to it. Good for you.

  2. George Roux

    i’ve argued over pennies too…. if they can’t or aren’t compentent enough to do their jobs, they need to find better areas of employment. Like garbage pickup, newspaper delivery or anything else that doesn’t require basic math skills. If my bill comes up to $19.98 and the cashier takes my 20 and stands there, i don’t budge till i get my two cents. I need those two cents for better things (like adding here)

  3. Wendy Blackheart

    WTF? Who rounds up change? I work in retail, and if my drawer is under, I’m doing it wrong because I’m giving too much back and fucking the company. If my drawer is over, I’m doing it wrong because I’m not giving enough back and I’m fucking the customer. Damn. I suck at math and do it right. AND, its even right there on the computer. (FWIT, in four months on the register, only ONE person has said ‘keep the penny’.)
    An aside, but grocery related – can someone teach the cashiers how to bag? At the semi shmancy/organicy store I shop at (the closest I can get to a Whole Foods in walking distance) they SUCK at bagging. Who puts the bread in the same bag as a bottle of soda? I knew how to bag groceries by 8 – if I messed up, mom was NOT happy.

  4. flufficat

    The Whole Foods in Northern California raised their prices on items. The salad I would buy that was $5 became a $7 salad. For a small salad. Ridiculous. Also their ridiculous produce. I remember seeing someone buying 3 tomatoes for $6. I stopped going there and found cheaper places. I do pop in occasionally but the high prices really irritate me.

    1. A Scribe Called Steff Post author

      I totally agree! I typically shop elsewhere, but when I do go to Whole Foods it’s because it’s 1 block from my train on my way home (I live 10+ blocks from a store at home), and because I’m buying a cheese I know they have, nice baguette, or maybe 1 vegetable. Routinely, I spend under $10, and I seldom go more than once every 2 weeks. Normally, I go to the big-discount shopping markets for staples, and local produce shops for veggies.

  5. Eric

    I loved this article! It totally made me laugh at the lunacy of it all. Does the cashier get it? Does your average joe get it? Do they even care? Capitalism, ignorance, and a deeper understanding all rolled into one. Love it.

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