Tag Archives: blowjobs

Rant: The Kid and the Long, Long Night

Ed. Note: This is a classic “me” post — starts one place, ends miles away. It’s a bit of a trip, but it’s a fun one. Hang tight.
I should go back to bed. It’s a raining Tuesday morning and I have a few minor goals today. One, I want to write my goals. (Ironic, isn’t that?) Two, I want to brainstorm a few ideas. Three, I want to have a nice breakfast, take a soggy walk up to the video store, come home, and write for a couple hours. The reward? Episodes five and six of the second season of The Wire.
(If you like intelligence, you admire a well-written, complex criminal story, and you like good acting, editing, and directing (and I mentioned the writing) and you’ve not yet seen The Wire, then what, pray tell, are you waiting for? Brilliance. Really.)
So, I sound like I’ve got it together. Plans for a low-key day, chilling. A day without men. Full-stop.
Let’s face it, there’s a certain point where we each get tired of the opposite sex’s bullshit in dating. One of the luxuries of being single is that when it all gets exacerbating, we can pull up the stakes and say, “Nah, man, party of one this week.” Yeah, don’t think I ain’t considering it.
Okay, I try to keep things relatively benign here. You don’t need to know my business. You probably want to know (filthy pervs) but you don’t need to know. Let’s break the rules this morning. A special exception.
So, a week or so ago, I hooked up with this kid. I was going through this two week period where my hormones raged like some political coup d’etat in South America. It was excruciating. I needed relief. I lowered the standards a bit, let’s say. Sorry, but it’s true. Yes, I let one slip by me.
This kid. I really, really, really hate to admit this, but I literally forget his name. I think I blocked it all out. I know I knew it earlier in the evening, but I remember thinking, at about 11, “What the fuck is his name?” and I’ve never since found out. So, I think it starts with a J, but it might be a D, and either way, I just don’t care enough to look the damned name up. I wrote it. Somewhere. But he’s The Kid.
I’m 32, he’s 26, not a big age difference. The thing is, I realized right then that all the men I’ve been seeing have been 34-36 of late. It’s been wonderful. I’d always toyed more with younger guys, since I do have a pretty young disposition when I want to, given my music and culture tastes and love of rebellion and so forth. But these guys I’ve been seeing have all kind of had it a bit more together, and certainly were far better lovers overall, with patience and dedication and openness being factored in, than I’d had in the past.

(You know, I got to say, there’s something much more attractive about divorced men now that I’ve had the privilege. They’ve had sex, regularly, and sorta know what they’re doing. Usually, even a sexless marriage means he gets out and gets free, then gets laid and gets open about it. Not an entirely bad set of circumstances, girls, if you’re looking for someone who has the geographical prowess to find your damned g-spot.)

So, he’s 26. One of these kids into Anime and punk and foreign flicks and art-house indies and classical music on Sundays. You know how it is. “I am artist, hear you roar.”
We hooked up for a coffee and had basically already said we’d watch a foreign flick, cuddle up with blankets and some wine, watch the movie, and play with each other the whole night. Given it was snowing outside, it sounded like brilliance. We ordered Chinese in, laid about, and got pretty damned intimate.
The great thing about the couch-and-movie thing with someone you’re interested in, at the very beginning of an encounter or relationship, is that virgin groping of each others’ bodies. It lasts for a couple hours running time, and then things heat up exponentially. When you’re already in a relationship, you just press pause. I like delay.

So, here’s where you need to know that I’ve gone from being a steamed milk lover to a vanilla lover to a malted milk lover. I ain’t chocolate yet, daddy. You don’t really know much about those aspects of me, but yeah, the only thing I don’t do, really, is pain or humiliation. Maybe one day I might get interested with the right person, and I don’t rule it out at all, but this is not that day. Suffice to say, I’m certainly beyond “you show me yours, I’ll show you mine” and other basics that may well reside in another galaxy. I obviously feel no fear about speaking out about sex, and certainly not while doing it. I’m very helpful. Older guys seem to enjoy this. Most of the time, younger guys did, too. Again, this was not that day.

Necking, kissing, groping, ooh. Nice. Of course, someone always needs to go to the bathroom, and it was him. Naturally, we decided the bedroom a more fitting place to play the extra innings. Onto the bed we went.
Things escalated to all-over kissing and using fingers in orifices and all those fun things. Now, for me, I have to say the experience was a headtrip. Longtime or thorough readers will have heard tell of a certain sexual encounter I retold that I’ve long since made private — a guy we’ll call M I really fell for and was devastated by in my youth.
I was cutting The Kid extra leeway because I knew the body type, the personality type, and for me, he was very much a throwback to that great guy who introduced me to my sexuality and gave me a glimpse at the lifestyle I now lead. Absolutely, the eyes, everything sort of reminded me of that sexy irreverent man of the past.
But make no mistake, regardless of where the “inspiration” came from, I was absolutely turned on. It didn’t matter how he fumbled or did whatever the hell he did, I was into the moment because I was making it happen for me.
We rested later, and then after an hour or two of sleeping, I rolled over and snaked down his body and gave him a blowjob, thinking of M the entire fucking time. (Hence the post about oral last week.) It was hot, probably last an hour or slightly longer, with a couple cuddle breaks for five, but yeah. The lights out, my mind was elsewhere. That part of the night went over very, very well.
But when he left, I knew I’d never be interested again. If you can’t get someone’s face out of your head when you’re playing with someone else, it just ain’t fair to do it again.
He left, though, because I finally rolled over, turned his face towards mine, and said simply, “You need to leave now” at 7:30am. I mean, fuck. 7:30? I think there should be a law about inquiring in 90-minute intervals from 4:30 on about departures for first-night sleepovers. Jesus. Then I won’t have to come shy of muttering “get the fuck out” when I need my sleep before work in the afternoon.
So, he left. We exchanged kisses. “Another movie next time,” he said/I said. Nod. Smooch. Buh-bye, and thanks for flying Indoor Air.
So, yesterday I encountered the kid. “So, that’s that,” I commented.
“Yeah, well, that was no fun, you were way too aggressive,” the Kid says.
I honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I mean, if they’re rubbing something like a clit and it’s not a clit, it bears mentioning, yes? If they haven’t got a clue where the g-spot is, it’s kind of nice to give them the keys to the future, n’est ce pas? And rolling over for an un-asked, un-told blowjob in the dead of the night, definitely a bad kind of aggression, I know, but I can’t help myself. I’m a monster. I should be locked up. Or tied up, at the very least. Please?
Yes. You heard it here first, readers. I’m too aggressive.
God, shoot me if I ever have to have feather sex again.** I’m implementing an “extraordinary cases only” rule about fucking guys under 30 now. Yes, one bad apple spoiled the barrel, but shit, I’ve only heard rumours about the bad lovers thing before now. I just hate having evidence thrown in my bed. I tell you.
And on top of all that, he was the kind of guy who doesn’t pick up the condom after. Learn this, men: It pisses us off when you do that. Toilet seat up? Not half as bad. Take your fucking condom with you. Please, and thank you. That concludes this public service announcement.
End rant. Thank you for listening. Now, which coffee shall I brew?

The Good Girl's Guide to Giving GREAT Head Pt. 2

celtic-2

When we last left off, I was recapping the wonders of the Creamsicle move. Trusty, classic, and effective. Here are the remaining fave moves of mine. Of course, you can mix’n’match all the moves and shake them up, and you can think outside the box and bring in other techniques. There’s really only one no-no in oral — don’t hurt ’em (unless they’re into that).
So, without further ado, the rest of the Good Girl’s Guide to Giving Great Head.

_________

Sideways: Wrap your lips around his shaft sideways. If you don’t have an image as to how this works, then try sucking on the side of your thumb. Your lips sit on the top and bottom of the cock, and with your lips tucked around your teeth, you’re going to use jaw pressure to clamp up and down on his cock (firm, but not too hard, so check with your man during the process if it’s not obvious how he’s responding) while you travel outward to the tip, all the while sucking and tonguing him.

Now’s a good time to mention it. Tongues, the most wonderful muscle both sexes share. That’s right, it’s a muscle. Flex it, baby. The more you use it, the stronger it’ll be. It can contribute a lot to a guy’s oral experience, too, expecially when you’re throwing added pressure and sensations into the mix. Be conscious of your tongue and its abilities, and you’ll see results.

Ballsy, Baby: Now and then you have to take his balls in your mouth and tongue them against your palate, being careful with your teeth. Suck and slurp the bad boys, and you’ll get him groaning, especially if you’re tugging on his shaft simultaneously.
Super-Thighs Him: Often, and I mean often, fall away to his inner thighs and bite, nibble, suck, and lick him as your hands keep him entertained, rubbing his prostate, stroking him, or maybe even just clutching his ass hard or teasing it with a finger as you continue devouring everything but his cock.
The Moist Interlude: Now and then to really torture him you can mount him without letting him enter you, just in between all the oral escapades. This is particularly fun when you have him absolutely at your mercy and tied up. The trick is, you have to be wet for him. Quite. Sopping. If you’re doing all of this the right way and you’re watching his reactions, I guarantee you will be, but if necessary, as you’re sucking his cock, start rubbing your clit — make sure you tell him that it has you so hot you’ve got to touch yourself — and then mount him after you’re wet. Grind him gently as you lean in and nibble his neck, his earlobes, his nipples, or kiss him, whatever it is you know gets him hotter. And grind, baby, grind. Just a little.
Apres Moist: Having taunted him, you want to slide your body down his, remembering that you’re wet and while you may or may not enjoy having cum all over you, he almost certainly does since your wetness correlates, in his mind, with how much you want to fuck him. So, as you’re sliding down, so too will evidence of your arousal, how hot you’re getting just while getting him hot. This alone will get his mind into overdrive (especially if he’s blindfolded) never mind the fact that you’re licking, nibbling, and sucking your way down to his cock, which you’re now stroking hard but slow. If you’re really evil, you’ll “accidentally” get his cock hung up on your vagina as you’re sliding down him. Stay there and try to drive him a little harder against you before you dismount, and if you’ve done this, make him wait an agonizing moment as you don’t touch him at all (on purpose, but you don’t have to let him know that — but I would, since I love the tease) as you reposition yourself to resume the oral.
The Taste-Tester: I’ve often dribbled chocolate syrup over a blindfolded lover’s cock and then hungrily licked and sucked it off as messily and greedily as I could before kissing him hard on his mouth with my mouth still tasting of both chocolate and him, so he knows what I’ve done. I’ve had amazing results with this, particularly when in the middle of an epic BJ. It’s one of those intense interludes that immediately heightens, rather than slackens his pleasure. It also gives you a change of pace and a nice taste sensation, plus the sugar rush helps you carry on your epic work. Now, honey works well, too, so long as it’s something you gotta work to get it all off of him, though. Sticky and sweet. Even jelly or jam is interesting, if that’s your kinda thing. The shock of cold might cause him to recoil a little, but your mouth will warm him up and make him grow again.

Props Assignment

A feather, an ice cube, some velvet, a dangling tassle, and other fun little objects can go a long way to surprising him with delight when he’s blindfolded during a BJ. I once had an interesting time wrapping a sheet of cotton batting around a guy’s cock and just lightly dragged it up and down against his rigid shaft. He was blindfolded and absolutely baffled as to what I was doing, but began shuddering with each light surfacing drag of the batting. Use your imagination when you’re looking through cupboards, make a note of things that could play well in the bedroom (or wherever you like to fuck.)
Tease him often with the props between doses of oral delivery.
Don’t forget, any time he might deflate a little, you’re going to ensure you reverse that immediately. Keep him as hard as you can throughout.

Nutshell.

Remember, variety, no one thing for too long. Go from one technique to another and back again repeatedly, and see what that does. Then change up the mix to something completely different — and change speeds, from slow to fast, and pressures, from soft to hard to barely there.
There are a myriad of other little techniques one can use, given that every cock-owner has different fondnesses. Ask him what he loves during oral. Ask him if there’s anything you can do to make him find a happier place. And do that for him. Asking “Do you like that, baby?” can be as much of a turn-on as anything, especially when you really get to the truth of what’s exciting him.

Whew! A Breather?

Never forget the power of your breath. Tired? Of course you are. Oral’s hard work. Take a breather, literally. Hover over his cock, still holding the shaft firmly, and just breathe heavily on his wet, hard tip and shaft as you catch your breath. I’ve actually seen cocks get harder and longer by just breathing on them for a full minute. Gasp, let him see how worn-out you are from servicing him..
Most of the time, this will even bring an added emotional element into the equation when he knows you’re shoring up reserves to go at him again. It’s a strangely powerful moment, just being there, quietly hovering, breathing.
In my experience, how it plays out is that he knows my head is right there… so close, yet so far, and the anticipation is surprisingly powerful — for both he and I. I’ll often faintly trace a fingernail up his length as I tease him with my breath, and it’s astonishingly effective considering the lack of other stimulus.
(Boys, this has worked well on me, too, but I can’t speak for all women. Girls?)

Sticking points.

A lot of fuss gets made over swallowing or facials or what have you. Where do I stand? I have swallowed, and though I’ve often done it, not always, and not even usually. It depends on the taste of his cum and depends on the man in question. Some guys it’s not a problems, others, yes, problem. Facial? Yeah, I could handle it. But I don’t. I find it denigrating, so I just duck away. It would depend on the man and the occasion.
I don’t think chicks should be expected to swallow. If you don’t want to, don’t, and don’t apologize for it. That’s simply your line and it has to be respected. Sucking a guy to the edge if orgasm and finishing him by handjob or by mounting him and finishing the old-fashioned way isn’t copping out.
If he’s really hung up on you swallowing, then tell him to change his diet so his cum’s sweeter. It’s a known fact that vegetarians have better-tasting cum. Beef and other foods drastically affect the taste. Some say parsley will sweeten the pot. But realistically, is he going to go to that extreme? Probably not. Yet he wants you to swallow? Well, will he swallow his own? Like one of my lovely readers says, if a guy expects it of you, he better be willing to do the same.
Like I say, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. Usually, I don’t. I’ve never, ever had a complaint. Just the opposite. The guy who gasped thanking me for three minutes? Swallowed some, but put the rest all over his body as I sucked, nibbled, and licked my way back up to his face, and he didn’t mind a damned bit.
_________
All you really need to know about me is I get the job done. Every time. And with these tricks and dedication, so will you.
Have fun, take your time, and remember: Details. The devil’s in the details.

The Good Girl's Guide to Giving GREAT Head Pt. 1

04

I’m a perfectionist. This has served me well in many areas of my life, say, at work or in the kitchen. Or, as it happens, in the bedroom.
I like to think of oral sex as a fine art. I think it’s the most sensual, supposedly selfless thing you can do for a lover.
Now, I say “supposedly selfless,” because who’s kidding who? If you’re already in a good relationship, throwing great oral into the equation makes it sexual utopia. It’s the final touch. Then they owe you. You know as well as I do, you’re keeping score. We all do.
When it comes to oral, I owe everything I’ve learned to Sex Tips for Straight Ladies from a Gay Man. The first time I used all the tips in that book — and let me tell you, when I read, I absorb information like a sponge, my friends — the guy was gasping his thanks for three full minutes afterwards, no exaggeration.
It’s not just knowing the moves, though. That’s half the battle. It’s really all about understanding your lover’s body language. That twitch, that gasp, that shudder, when their thigh muscles tighten or their ass clenches while they inhale sharply… all these little signs will give you clues as to what’s working… and what’s working better.
You don’t have to talk during the process but your lover should always emit little vocal cues when oral’s underway. It’s a roadmap of sorts. I’m fortunate, this is my strong suit. I can read a lover like a Dick-and-Jane book.
By understanding all those little subtle shifts in behaviour, you know when to switch up your technique to get a little added stimulation in, or to pull back so you can prolong the experience without having them blow their load too soon. It’s torturously delightful when the whole process is dragged out for as long as you can make it last.
My record for delivering oral on a guy was spread out well over an hour, and with his reaction and the night that followed it, my time proved to be very well spent. There are some situations that scream for you to dote and linger and take the slow route around. (In my books, that always includes light bondage.)
I’m not afraid to make an entire night about the guy. Or to at least try. I’ve never had a guy let me make it all about him. Half-way through, they’re always so riled they feel compelled to take charge.
And who am I to argue, then? It’s one of the perks of showering your lover with affection — limiting their ability to be involved in the process always heightens the payback. And I do so love payback.
If I wanted to deliver The Perfect Scenic Route Blowjob, it’d take a little scheming. Naturally, he wouldn’t know I had this in mind. Where’s the fun in that?
I would be planning to give loverboy a full-body massage that would slowly turn into bondage. I’d do firm but sensual deep issue work, keeping it fairly innocuous… for a while.
If not already naked midway through the massage, I’d remedy it and undress. Straddling him, sitting on his ass, I’d work my way lower on his back. When through there, I’d have him roll over, and he’d naturally be rock hard by now.*
I’d have a bind or tie of some kind under the pillow, and upon straddling his front, I’d lean in for a kiss, pin his arms playfully over his head, then produce the rope. Of course he’d give his permission (because I only date intelligent men) and I’d then tie his hands up.
Then it’s all about exploring, isn’t it? Kissing, sucking, nibbling from head to toe and back again… but stopping often for long, involved cock teasing.

e-blowjob-gitte-STOR

Where I start with a blowjob is by grabbing the base of the shaft. This isn’t even an option. Need I repeat that? Not an option, sisters. A good firm grasp around the shaft is a great start, but it’s also great to have the testicles involved in this lovely grasp, as well. Cup them, and maybe play with his balls, rolling them in your hand, but don’t overdo it ‘cos you don’t want to get him too riled too early.
This whole process is going to be about giving and denying — taking him to the brink and knowing when to stop so you can stretch that tease to the maximum. If you can prolong it as long as possible, the orgasm (from my experience) is of the earth-shattering, full-body spent kind. (My favourite, personally.)
From that point, baby, it’s all mix’n’match. There’s no real process. Vary it like mad, not sticking with any one technique for longer than a minute or so. If I can see his face and know he’s concentrating with furrowed brows or biting his lip intensely, then I’ll probably prolong that move just a tad since it’s obvious he’s in another place with it. There are no rules… just make it good and make it last.
Among my favourite moves:
The Explorer: Licking hard and slow up from the base of the shaft, over the head, nibbling the tip oh-so-gently before going open-mouth and deep over the whole shaft, closing lips hard over him, sucking hard but teasingly slow all the way up, then making a couple short little slurping passes over the tip. I repeat the whole move a few times in a row, usually producing a couple tortured little shudders at the very least.
The Nibbler: Imagining you’re a dainty little old English lady working her way around a tea biscuit with the littlest of nibbles. You’ll work your way from base to tip ever so delicately nibbling the skin lengthwise, and when you get to the tip, you’ll simply mouth the top of his cock and his glans and toy with him using your tongue and sucking with varying degrees of pressure.

Women, for the love of god, if you can’t nibble without applying any painful pressure, do NOT do it at all! If you’ve never nibbled cock before, go gentle, please! Once you’re into the experience, ask him if he’s comfortable with you proceeding. Not every guy is trusting enough to let a chick teeth him. But he should be. Unless he’s fond of denying himself the most sinful of pleasures.

The Creamsicle: Ah, let’s hear it for the classics. Fondly recall those days of old when you’d grab yourself an orange creamsicle and suck it whole in your mouth, up and down, until it was too weak to last much longer. So too will be your man’s cock if you’re attentive enough with this trusty old standby. If you don’t lay hard tongue pressure against the side of his cock as you suck the length of the shaft, then why don’t you?
Now, the downside of the Creamsicle is that it tends to get him off a little too quickly if you overdo it. I prefer short bursts of Creamsicling (unless I’m winding up my services, and then I give it all I’ve got). I’ll often make sure I’m clutching his shaft hard and tugging in rhythm with my lipservice. This, too, can be problematic when you’re trying to prolong his experience.
PART TWO? I thought you’d never ask.
*By the way, if a guy isn’t hard, putting his soft cock in your mouth and gumming and sucking him tends to drive him wild and gets him hard in a hurry. Always a pleasant surprise if the blowjob begins out of the blue. Try this next time you’re just watching TV. Get down on your knees, open his pants up, and set yourself onto his soft cock. Especially do this if you know there’s some chick he likes in the show or something. Why not indulge his little fantasy, and later, help him indulge yours?