I Bleed Maple, Bitch

I used to be on Substack but I hate Nazis, so I moved my site off Substack to Ghost, a non-profit who've been around for about 12 years and who don't pay Nazis to write for them.

Pretend I've already written a YAY SHINY NEW SITE post, because this fucking weekend is wild and I just gotta get things off my little broken Canadian heart.

Here's my first post at my old URL, Cunting Linguist, which has been alive since 2005. I'll post my "I'm back" post later this week.

I grew up about five miles from the most enduring symbol of Canadian-American friendship, the Peace Arch. It’s always been said its gates would always be open in times of friendship. I’m wondering if they’ve closed.

Maybe they did, figuratively.

Never in my life did I think Canadians might fear America. We never wanted to be American. We never changed our values. We never demanded our immigrants forget theirs, either.

Still, despite our differences, despite America being our obnoxious buddy who danced in the limelight and butted in where they weren’t invited, we worked pretty well together. It was awkward, but okay. We’re Canadians, after all — everyone likes us.

So, this? Now? Oof. Punch to the gut.

Like my friend said, most Canadians feel this is a gambit, a pretext to economically destabilize Canada before he chooses to invade us. Like Hitler did in 1933.

Let’s face it, we’re pretty close to Russia too. Me, I’m on the island most vulnerable to both.

Feelin’ pretty fuckin’ exposed in my island home now, I’ll tell ya.

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Canadians are a feisty people. We’re resilient. We’re nice. We’re helpful. (Funny — very. The US comedy industry would collapse without Canadians. Lorne Michaels? Canadian. You’re welcome, America.)

But we’re different people. Very.

I have somehow studied genocide, tyranny, and oppression in a casual way since I was 15. I’ve read books on Apartheid, Civil Rights, the fall of Communism, the legacy of oppression, the psychic scars lingering long thereafter.

My travels took me through places that survived, or were living in, all three of those terrible cycles. Cambodia, the Balkans, Poland, Hungary, Romania, Czechia, Laos, and more.

In Cambodia, I visited a museum to land mines. It wouldn't exist if the United States hadn't waged an illegal bombing campaign upon their country during the Vietnam War. They weren't anticipating removing the last mines until the 2030s for a war that ended 50+ years ago.

Canada long ago ratified the Land Mine Treaty. America? Never. Because they’d have to stop using them.

So, Canadians and Americans? Very different.

In some ways, I’ve never been more ready to meet a moment — but I’ve never been more scared to, either.

But I’m ready.

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And if you’re American, you have to understand Canadians really do see this as prelude to war. We don’t want that. God, we don’t.

But our military has spent a decade training Ukraine in insurgency fighting. They’re masters of all terrain.

If there was a war, we’d know what we were fighting for. Would Americans?

I bet a massive domestic American resistance would work to sabotage their government’s imperial efforts. American rebels would help Canada because they perceive us as benevolent (but let's file that under "it's complicated").

Gun laws for 30 years, universal heathcare since the Cold War. Advocates for human rights, welcoming to immigrants, pro science. That stuff is bound to have a supporter or two. We’re certainly not people you invade.

On the upside, civil war might make Trump too busy to invade us. Who knows? Adventure!

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So, anyhow, on the weekend When Everything Changed, I spent three days cooking, smoking weed, moving my site to a place not run by Nazis.

I have been increasingly bothered for well over a year that Substack was going Nazi. Not cool with profits from my words helping fund people who want to deprive trans people of their basic human rights, or who think fascism is cool.

If you don't think trans rights are human rights, get the fuck outta here.

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In college, I read the Rise & Fall of the Third Reich and got into the Holocaust. Not ‘cos I’m a weirdo who secretly collects Nazi memorabilia or anything — but because of Sjenta Wilkinson, a masseuse I had when I was 13. She had Auschwitz numbers on her Popeye-sized left forearm.

As a teen, she delivered passports to Jews in Holland and was deemed to be Dutch Resistance when caught by Nazis. She gave an interview in 2012.

But, when I was 13, she was a nice woman who gave my mom and I massages three blocks from home.

Later, I learned more about her numbers. I learned more about the camps.

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So, when Substack goes “Shucks, it’s just free speech” about people on their site writing Nazi talking points, when they shrug off Elon's salute, when they ignore that Nazism killed an estimated 10 million Jews, Romanis, gays, disabled, and other people, and also ignited a worldwide war thought to have caused ~85 million deaths… well, I gotta nope on outta that.

Trouble is, when I learned Substack’s politics, I was ill and struggling to keep my shit together. Soon, I had surgery, a tax issue to resolve, an injury to rehab…

2024 was a wild ride, and I didn’t have the wherewithal to make changes until recently.

Luckily, I have a good friend in Jay Holtslander, web coding genius for hire, who helped me finally deal with everything last week. Thank you, Jay!

Jay also dislikes Nazis, imperialism, and anyone who’s against human rights, so he thought he’d help me get back on my soapbox, and I’m very happy he did.

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Now full of rage, I need a place for my righteous angst and other musings.

So, I dusted off this web address I've owned since 2004. Rolls off the tongue, eh?

What’s the good word? The Cunt’s back.

I don’t know where this is all going, but we’ll go together.