Let the Games Begin

Ah, the inaugural posting.

Where to begin? The balls? The shaft? A fine question.

But no, we’ll start with something a little less tasty. Let’s go for that age-old question of why. Why the Cunting Linguist.

Hmm. Good question.

I’ve always enjoyed innuendo. I enjoy batting it around. I love being a tease, sexually and intellectually. It’s all a game.

Unfortunately, a lot of people didn’t pick up the handbook, and too many people ignore the fucking rules.

That said, people who’ve read me elsewhere are thinking, “So, it’ll be mostly rants about sex?”

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Honestly? I haven’t a fucking clue. I’m starting to think it’d be fun to write some erotica as well — my style, whatever that might be. It’ll definitely include stories from my past. I’ve already promised to tell the tale of when I chipped a tooth during sex.

And I will, but it’s a long story and involves another face from my past, one I miss and would love to encounter along a bare wall with the lights down low.

An epic finish to that tale, one that would see both the players utterly satiated, and then totally denied a future encounter when The Truth would enter the picture. If there’s one ex-lover I want to phone when it’s 3:00 in the morning on a hot night, no breeze, and that familiar tingle and shortening of breath finds me alone in my bed… It’d be J.

I have a lot of strong feelings about sex. I think we’re denied a lot of pleasure due to hang-ups in society. That said, I’m still a pretty old-fashioned girl in some regards, since I’ve never been promiscuous, and I’m not into swinging or the like.

No, for me it’s still about romance, creativity, sex toys, light bondage, teasing, taunting, toying, food, stimulants, erotica, music, location, and lighting. How dull.

I’ll admit, I’m a little curious about sadomasochism, but I honestly have to say that I enjoy pleasure and reward, doting and toying. Punishment isn’t really my bag. But I wouldn’t want to be judgmental, if you know what I mean.

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Still, I’ve encountered a surprising amount of men who think they’re open and adventurous when it comes to sex, but you mention the word “bondage” and there’s this image they conjure of some dom maxed-out in leather with a bull-whip and studded collars.

Sure, if stereotypes fit your bill. I have no bullwhip, and very little leather, but I’m more than willing to get into a bound situation, as either the binder or the bindee. It’s all about variety, n’est ce pas?

I’ll definitely be writing on things of those calibre. Tackling those tough dilemmas, like, to shave or not to shave.

I may even post recipes from my aphrodisiac cookbook. No, I’m not kidding. Yes, I do have one. And yes, it does work wonders, but then so does a handjob.

I’m open to receiving questions from y’all, preferably via email so I get the element of surprise when I post the question. I’d laugh my ass off if you sent in whack questions that are completely bullshit, and I’d still answer them. You’re creative, do something with it.

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BUT… I really don’t want to pigeon-hole this site into “just sex.” It seems shallow, at first blush.

Then again, it seems to me that sex is used in everything from video games to burger advertisements. Confining the topic to sex-related might open up a whole interesting subculture of issues to examine.

But there’ll always be oral sex. Sucking, nibbling, chewing, licking. All those lovely verbs that bring a grin to my lips every time my imagination kicks in. “Oral pleasure.” Of all the euphemisms used in sex, that’s the best one. That’s the one that reminds you: It’s about pleasure.

Let’s hope I bring you some. Stick around, and we’ll see where this game of cat-and-mouse will lead. This could be fun.