Sexual Q & A: Twofer on Masturbation & Lovers’ Age Differences

Anonymous wants to know about masturbating in front of a partner.

What about it? Should you do it? Is it cool? Is it freaky? I don’t know specifically what you’re asking, so let’s tackle it all.

STEFF RESPONDS:
No question. Do it. There’s nothing wrong with masturbating for your partner. In fact, I encourage you to. As mentioned by one of my sensational readers earlier last week, it can help you show your partner how your erogenous zones respond to stimulation.

Fact is, we all get off in different ways. Everyone likes a little somethin’ different.

The question is, though, are women as open to watching men masturbate as men are to watching chicks? I can’t answer that. I think women should be, though.

Chicks are raised with this mentality that the male member’s super-sensitive and can’t handle rough treatment. Every chick has had the experience where she’s sat between her boyfriend’s legs to watch TV and accidentally crushed the crown jewels, inciting a pained reaction from the boy in question.

We’re left with this image of cocks being ubersensitive all the time. I wonder, then, how many chicks don’t put all they’ve got into giving a guy a handjob. How hard is too hard to squeeze? How rough can you go? Do most chicks know?

I’ve got a pretty good idea. I’ve often done the mutual masturbation thing and it’s been very illuminating.

Watching a guy jack off can be enlightening, then, for most women. Particularly in that she can just learn from his moves, just like I did. I could spout off about it, but every chick needs to experience it themselves. I scoff at the notion of a guy passing up the opportunity to not only watch a chick masturbate, but to shadow the experience. No guy I’ve ever known has balked.

Guys watching chicks? Abso-fucking-lutely. The female organ’s a true mystery, even to us chicks. Me, if I masturbate, it’s quick and dirty and I move on. It’s a clit thing for me. There are times when the Energizer bunny comes in to play, but most of the time, it’s fingers, fast and furious, and I’m outta there.

Other chicks might read that and think, “What, are you male or something?” It’s a world of difference for each of us.

Absolutely reach out and touch yourself for your lover. Angle yourselves across the bed from each other and mutually stimulate yourselves for each other’s pleasure. Make lots of eye contact, but also watch what it is they’re doing to themselves. Keep the lights on. Turn them down if you need a mood, light some candles and such, but make sure you’ve got visibility, and put aside your bodily insecurities so you can really capitalize on the opportunity to let them see how you make yourself cum.

Education always, always, always improves sex. The more your lover knows about you, the more pleasure you’ll receive. End of story.

What are your thoughts on the matter, folks?

Next on the platter…

Chunu wants to know where I stand on older and younger lovers.

STEFF RESPONDS:
Never really gone out with an older lover. They’ve always been around my age, maybe two-three years older. Younger, though, there’s been a lot of. When I was 27, I was with a 21-year-old for awhile and that was a good time, but it was mostly me teaching him things. Having the opposite be true would be a delight for a change.

I’m not sure why I’ve gravitated towards younger men. Probably because I’ve got a really zippy, youthful personality and I’m a playful, playful girl.

Men with mortgages and baggage daunt me. I’m not into the whole complicated lifestyle thing. I like my life simple and easy, and younger guys seem to be on that page. I also enjoy the exuberance.

Am I, however, opposed to older lovers? No, not at all. In fact, I’m interested in seeing what I’m missing. There’s something to be said for a guy who’s been married, has had the ball and chain, and has moved on from it all, gained from the claustrophobia of it, and is living life to the fullest after it all. I’d love more worldly, experienced, darker men in my life, men who’ve been through shit and know when to appreciate simplicity… like I now do.

Another knock against younger men is that I have NEVER been able to persuade one to learn Tantric sex with me. I don’t understand the hesitation, and there’s nothing I desire to learn more right now than the fine art of Tantra.

I’d love to hook up with a guy around 40 and see what it is he can show me. I’d be wild about the notion of hooking up with a man already schooled in Tantra. I suspect some older men have a lot they can bring to the bed, and like I say, I love an educated man.

The older man thing? It’s simply never happened to work out. I’ve even had dates planned with older guys and they always fall through ‘cos of some emergency with their kids or whatever the fuck it is that happens. And it just constantly reminds me that older men come with a lot of complications…

Complications that just don’t accommodate my lifestyle.

If only that weren’t the case.

And what about you, folks? You have a preference between older and younger lovers? Why? What made that develop? Do you wish your present partner was a different age? Why?