The Cresting Tide of Lesbianism, And Advice for Men

So, I’m half-watching the premiere of Cashmere Mafia, which turns out to be an all right “chick” show.

In the pilot on tonight, there’s this moment when a very, very Waspy sorority kinda gal gets her first kiss from a woman. They’re both really successful business women in their mid- to late-30s. The waspy never-been-kissed gal gets all giddy and squeamish and bubbles up as she heads to her car after the kissing-woman leaves.

And, I’m thinking, “Gee… this lesbianism thing is catching. Guys really have to up their game now, man.”

After all, it’s not just your average bull-dyke out there competing for your femmes’ attention. Now there are some pretty hot, svelte lesbians out there. Some lookers to the nth degree. And unlike your average guy, most of them actually enjoy communicating. They’re even sensitive and know how to be tender.

I mean, I’m calling to mind an email I received a little while ago about a guy in a locker room and how he overheard other guys bragging about the pounding sex they’d had of late, as if chicks only wanted to be ridden senseless.

Makes me think it’s time I write a few more tips of use for public consumption. But that’s another posting for another time. Suffice to say, being tender? Definitely needs to be a card in your deck of tricks, boys.

Point is, I think there number of women who might consider a same-sex relationship (or at least experience) is growing. I think it’s part of this new feminism. We’re all sort of seeing that what we are is sexier than we might’ve thought, and we’re seeing that beauty around us a bit more, I think.

We’re celebrating ourselves. The average woman’s finding value in herself. Vibrators are in. Seems a certain segment of men are a little confused about these new women these days. A little wowed sometimes. I don’t really see this new femme-on-femme adulation thing waning any time soon, but rather taking a bit stronger hold.

It’d take a pretty spectacular mix for a woman to woo me, but it could be done. I suspect that the number of rather stoic heterosexual chicks like me who are opening their minds to the notion is what’s significant and new about this era we’re in.

I’m not really sure what to make of it myself, but I find it kind of excites me. I want to be excited about being a woman, something kina new for me. I want other women to feel excited about who we are, what we are, too. I want to celebrate our strengths. I want to explore that more. I want more female friendships in my life now.

I don’t think men have anything to be concerned about as far as women still prefering men on average, but I don’t think it’s ever too soon to stop taking people for granted. There’s a groundswell growing across age brackets of people who just aren’t putting up with bullshit in relationships anymore, who are realizing they can have more than what they’ve been settling for. Naturally, there’re a lot of women in that crowd.

I don’t know, it’s an interesting time in relationships, all the way across the board. I’m confused about where “the modern relationship” is going. Everything’s changed a lot in the last 15, 20 years. All the rules are different. Don’t let anyone kid you… no one’s really got a handle on where the modern relationship’s headed. Things are being redefined, but in a totally undefined way. Power’s shifting. Gender roles are expanding. It’s surprising and fun and unexpected..

The more everyone’s willing to roll with the flow, the more interesting this ride might just get.

In the meantime, I guess the big bit of advice I have for men is that they remember the brilliant line of Margaret Atwoods: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.”

The key is, if you’re not needed… you better be wanted. So. Be wanted.