Further Thoughts on Steak and Blowjob Day

I had a comment left yesterday on my posting from last Friday, in which I flippantly lauded “Steak and Blowjob Day”.

To save you from doing actual work, I’ll excerpt Virago’s well-written comment, and the ensuing comments from yours truly (and HER last reply) here:

Virago:
“Steak and Blowjob Day”? Because sex in relationships isn’t about mutually consenting, loving sexual acts (including oral), it’s about tricking your girlfriend into sucking you off while you watch TV and eat a MANLY chunk of dead animal. Just as VDay is about forcing your man to buy you poorly-made consumer capitalist crap to ‘prove’ how much he cares.

VDay and ‘S&B Day’, enforcing the gender roles that women only put out when plied with gifts and diamonds, and that all men really want is a housewife/mother and a sex slave.

Me:
You know, it’s funny. I’m totally torn on Steak & BJ day. On the one hand, I agree with you. On the other, I think it’s entertaining. I guess it would totally come down to the guy I was with, whether I’d think it could be fun or not.

Unfortunately, there’s probably a lot of men out there who wouldn’t see it as something amusing… as soon as a sense of “entitlement” enters the picture, it stops being a fun thing.

Virago’s reply:
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there. If it was part of a jokey ‘hey hun, it was Chocolate Ice Cream and pussy eating day last week, now it’s steak and a blowjob day’ thang then it’d be fine, just a bit of fun. Sadly I think a lot of guys, as you pointed out, would see it as “hell yeah, I’m entitled to a blowjob, because I’m always doin’ shit like listening to her and not hittin her around so much as I used to”, in which case it is to be rigorously opposed. If necessary with baseball bats ;)

Here’s the deal. When I write about “guys”, my somewhat shallow notion of men in general by way of the ones I’ve known, loved, lost, forgotten, what have you, I’m generally coming from a good place.

Most of the men I’ve known, hell, all of them, have known “please” and “thank you”. I’ve never been insulted or run down, mistreated in any really cruel way. I’ve never been hit or slapped. Things that have gone wrong have been pretty run-of-the-mill things, things that are complicated to explain and that I barely even understand now, years after the fact, except the infidelity, which is pretty easy for anyone to relate to.

No man I’ve ever been with has ever had a sense of entitlement to me or my time. Because I’d never, ever, ever settle for that kind of guy. I wouldn’t settle for the kind of guy who’d put me down, abuse me, demand things of me, or disrespect me.

I don’t demand good behaviour, I just expect it. There’s a difference. I behave how I expect to be treated: I show respect, I’m generous, I’m open, I listen. And I expect all of that in return. I don’t get it, then I know where the door is.

[FYI: This doesn’t mean I feel fluffy and warm towards my exes. Visit me here where I live, Planet Earth, where past + relationships seldom = thumbs up.]

Yet, there are assholes out there. Not so much in my life, but they’re out there.

Unfortunately, I choose not to preface all my statements or postings with qualifications because some fuckwits have to go complicating my storytelling. I mean, really: “This following posting, when speaking of “men”, is actually referencing a select 57.6% of men who don’t think of spouses as glorified beer-fetching units.”

Assholes suck. Pricks with senses of entitlement deserve neither a steak, nor a blowjob. I’d rather not incriminate myself by suggesting what some of these men do deserve. But I have a really, really creative imagination and I love “dark” movies.

And, yes, it holds true that the always constant of pricks in the male race should be omnipresent in females as well. Where there are assholes, there are wenches.

So, I say this to you now: Mean people suck.

They do. Bumperstickers prove it. Polls are overwhelmingly showing that mean people are really, really disliked.

Therefore.

Therefore, only truly, truly nice guys who don’t think they really even deserve a steak and a blowjob, but, boy, they sure could use one, should be given a steak and a blowjob.

But since those are generally the only kinds of guys I tend to date (and they usually really, really enjoy steaks and blowjobs, I’ve found, albeit rather separately) then, you know, yeah, I’m not opposed to the gifting of said elements of delight.

Were I dating fuckheads who thought I existed only as a beer matron and blowjob-giver, I’d have one hell of a different perspective. Rightly so. In fact, the one guy I was with a long while ago who always “expected” blowjobs as part of the package stopped getting them. Hmm. Go figger.

I was raised to never settle, to never allow others to hurt me, and to never allow anyone to speak down to me. I try not to hurt others or speak down to them, and should hope I never cause anyone to settle. Living by these things hasn’t failed me yet, and I prefer to live a life where I think they won’t ever fail me. I’d rather believe the best in others than suspect the worst.

So, being a little vulnerable and making a gift of a steak and a blowjob might be something I’d do for a guy I knew saw the humour in it, but I’d probably do it out of the blue and not on a restricted “day”, because I’m non-conformist like that and it’s just how I roll.

But in restrospect, it was a stupid, flippant posting, and I shouldn’t have posted it without a little more insight, but I haven’t really been in my right head of late, as you may have gathered. :)

Mean people suck. No blowjob for you, meanie, and I’m keeping the steak. Behave, be nice, and the possibilities are endless.