The Unhinging of Steff

You may not hear much from me this week.

It’s moving week, bitches!

But, aside from that, I’m about a 1″-bolt away from being completely unhinged.

You know I’m a little TENSE when it’s a photo of Christian Bale wielding an axe as a serial killer in American Psycho that I’m identifying with.

Let me set the scene for the last five weeks, okay?

A swirl of crazy in 5 weeks that has included: Docs telling me (wrongly) that my dad would never live off life support again, two “dead mother” anniversaries in one week, a 3-day whirlwind trip to find a home (which was preceded by days of ad-searching and calling), insane amounts of packing, getting sick twice, lots of rehab, finding a cyst in my hand that compromised grip-strength, and having my oven explode while preheating for dinner.

Now it’s three days before moving and it’s my time of the month, and I’m still down with a cold. Like, seriously. That’s my last five weeks. I have one last epic week left.

It’s times like these that become the gateway to substance abuse. Seriously. Wow.

So, my head’s over here exploding, and my wallet’s weeping at the cost of “convenience” food, there’s a nasty cold snap, it threatens to rain on moving day, BUT IN FOUR DAYS I WILL HAVE SURVIVED THE STUPID.

Yes, indeedy.

When I decided to move to Victoria, all the Important Things went my way very easily, as if to tell me this move was the right thing.

That, I took as a positive sign.

All this stupidity? I just take it as a test. Do I really want the move? What is it I envision when times are most stressful right now?

My life on the other side.

So, yeah, I guess I really want it.

Meanwhile, my thread is thin, I’m tired, I’m PMSing, I have cramps, and the old saying “We do what we have to do so that we may do what we want to do” comes back to mind.

I end tonight with a chiropractor and physiotherapy appointment. Next Monday ends that way too. Difference is, one’s before the move, one’s after. When I reach “after,” I’ll know my life’s completely different — right down to the people my back’s getting treated by.

Wow. So, it’s really coming. I can’t imagine what it’ll feel like to start having ALL this stress fall off me. I’ve been carrying this way too fucking long.

And if you wonder why I’m too busy to blog?

There you go.

Catch you on the flipside, minions. Gonna be a fun, crazy ride. Not like it hasn’t already been a crazy ride — we’re just waiting for the fun, new part of it.